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Balinore14
Casual Contributor

New Dad

Hey guys. I'm a new "Dad to be" and things between my partner and I aren't sailing too smoothly at the moment. 

Backstory: her and I have been together for about 2yrs. When we first started out... She her bub was only about 6months old. So we currently have a 2yr old toddler running around. Things got rocky during 2020 and we broke up for a wee bit. In that little time gap she got pregnant to the same baby daddy, things were short lived and now we're back together again. With a little bundle of joy on the way. 

 

So yeah that's that, but lately things have been really hard. I'm constantly exhausted. I'm constantly overwhelmed. Things that are Soo minute that I couldn't give a hoot about, suddenly get in my nerves. My partner says Im irritating, but only wants me around when she wants things done for her. She's 5 and half months pregnant rn. Sometimes I feel used and when I want a little time and attention she makes it out that I'm just a complete sook. All in all I'm having a lot of insecurity. Like I'm constantly failing.  There's Soo many expectations from her and her family, as well as work being stressing during the festive season. So yeah stress at work, at home, in our relationship and which is affecting my relationship with our 2yr old who because of my irritability, does not enjoy my company sometimes. 

 

3 REPLIES 3
Owlunar
Senior Contributor

Re: New Dad

Hi New Dad 

 

What a tangle! - I am not at all surprised that things are difficult when you are bringing up a toddler from a different relationship and now your partner is pregnant again to the same "baby daddy" - 

 

Not a good start - I would feel pretty used - and it must certainly add to the weight of it all when she only wants you around when she wants you to do things for her - not good at all

 

I don't know and can't suggest anything for you to do - I know when I was in the middle of my first pregnancy and had my adopted toddler around I was tense and nervy - but then I was married to the "baby daddy" - it was a tricky pregnancy - but I certainly can understand a man has to feel out of his depth when his wife goes through this awkward time

 

But you are just the partner and these are not your children and the main thing I picked up from your message is that she is needy and wants you to pick up the pieces already

 

I'm sorry - I can understand how you feel and you are no sook - I don't know what you should do though but whatever it is you need to think about caring for yourself

 

Keep in touch - we support each other here. I would like to welcome you here and hope you stick around - and I hope things work out whatever you choose to do

 

Dec

 

 

Re: New Dad

@Owlunar lol yeaaaahhh I guess it was a bit of a tangled web. I guess for me right now it's all about the insecurity, self esteem, and self confidence... Though what she says is small or even meaningless, however, it hurts a lot more and more when it's repeated constantly on a daily basis. Small things can go a long way. So yeah. It's complicated but I love the woman so that's why I guess it hits home a lot more harder than usual. The manly wall is only as strong as the man, but when the man doesn't feel strong... Neither is the wall. Love her to bits I do... Just sometimes haha it can go a little too far. 

Re: New Dad

Hey, 

 

Just seeing how things are going? 

I can't offer much advice, but I'm a new dad myself. We have a 3 year old (from my partners previous relationship) and a newborn if you ever need to chat. Usually there is always at least one crying or the 3 year old is doing something that makes either of us want to rip our hair out, but i will be around sporadically if you need anything. 😄

 

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