Lived Experience Forum

[Miss_BPD]

How are you 'diagnosed' with a mental health disorder in Australia?

Since around the age of 14 I've been dealing with anger issues, social anxiety, fear of abandonment (mainly family). My emotions have always been very intense and very up and down and my anger has always gotten the best of me from a young age. My social anxiety makes my armpits sweat badly and all I have to do is leave my house or even hear news that someone's coming over and I'll start to sweat like crazy so I'm constantly in dark t shirts/jumpers because I refuse to wear any light colours. I have suicidal thoughts when I'm going through an 'episode', I'll want to harm myself but not want to at the same time. I've had an issue with weight for as long as I can remember, at one stage I refused to eat in public so therefore I wouldn't eat at school or anywhere people outside my immediate family could see and even then I found it difficult. Usually I eat once a day now, but I'll go through episodes where I'll eat a lot more than I need to so my weight's up and down and thats frustrating in itself. I feel judged constantly, like people are watching my every move even when I'm alone and they're picking at my every flaw. I have a huge issue with making decisions, it's one of the hardest things I struggle with. From what chocolate I want to what I want to do for the rest of my life. I rather just not make the decision at all because it just ends up making me frustrated.

My episodes are very intense and they can happen over the smallest of things, I go from sad and crying and wanting to die to angry, wanting to physically hit people I hate and wanting to destroy things. These emotions switch rapidly, so I'll be crying for 10 minutes and the next minute I'm furious and it'll go back and forth. This can go on from an a couple hours to a couple days depending on the situation. I get irritated super easy as well so many episodes start because I can't stop myself from feeling that way no matter how hard I try....

I can go on but I honestly just want to know how someone gets diagnosed in Australia because my doctor sent me to see a Psychologist when I was around 19 and I saw her once every 2 weeks for a year but I was pretty closed off so I didn't really like to speak too much but I answered all her questions the best I could and tried the best I could to explain how I was feeling. She also sent me to see a Psychiatrist a couple times, I didn't really have to say anything to her besides answer a few questions (I suppose the Psychologist would've informed her about me) The session took about 10-15 minutes and in that time she'd found a medication to put me on.. The psychiatrist put me on a few medications during this time, one after the other when I wasn't liking the ones she'd given me. They'd make me feel super sleepy, drained or just 'zombie-like', they took all emotions including any sense of happiness, so I refused to take any more after she kept handing me different antipsychotics, antidepressants etc.. My sessions stopped at the end of the year and I was left feeling as confused as I was when I walked in. The only reason I went to the sessions was because I wanted to know what was wrong with me but that definitely didn't happen. I stopped going to get help because I felt like I just wasn't recieving the help I needed and this is where I'm left today. I can't explain all this to my family because they don't understand and that's not their fault. But I need help, I'm now 22 and I dont know where to go or who to talk to, I've done a lot of research and I feel like I identify most with Borderline Personality Disorder but of course I can't diagnose myself so I'm just confused. Any advice would be very much appreciated! 

[Andrew_Jackson]

Hi!

Firstly - for such a large post you might want to use bullet points.

Secondly - you have the following symptoms: anger issues, social anxiety, fear of abandonment (mainly family), weight.

Thridly - you have a GP and a psychiatrist (psychologists have never been my thing, but might be more important for you.

So... seems to me you need the RIGHT psychiatrist. Someone who diagnoses you properly and gets you on some pills n' thrills. You just need to shop around. I strongly advise against self-diagnosis and self-analysis can make everything worse. Your job is to find the right psychiatrist for you - their job is to deal with your illness.

- Please, please, please get out of the, I'm this or I'm that, I'm bipolar and I've been hospitalised 5 times, I cannot work and live on a disability pension. And you know what? I've worked and I've done my bit and I don't give a shit. And neither should you. You are switched on and trying your best, you will get there.

[Shaz51]

hello @Miss_BPD , @Andrew_Jackson  and welcome 

I will tag @BPDSurvivor , @Judi9877 , @Oaktree , @BlueBay  for you 

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Miss_BPD ,

I am so glad you have posted. I resonate with much of what you are saying. It is only natural to have the concerns you have, and sometimes, having a label can certainly link you to specialist treatments. That was the only way I got the help I got. However, also note that often, when people see a BPD diagnosis, they seem to run the other way.

You have been so honest and open about your struggles, and I congratulate you for that.

Many people don't understand what it is like to have BPD. However, from experience, all your wonderings are totally valid.

You've pretty much summed up my life as a person with BPD. The anger, anxiety, issues with relationships and weight...

So how I got diagnosed?

In hospital.

I don't even remember being told I had BPD. I remember reading a discharge letter years later after an admission for SH and it pretty much said I had BPD. I was probably too out of it at that time to know what was going on during my admission, so I didn't take anything in.

As for my psychologist and psychiatrist appointments...I didn't get anywhere at first. They put me on aniti-depressants and mood stablisers... some made me go up, some made me go down, and some made me go round and round.... it was a nightmare.

Years later, I moved interstate from NSW ro VIC to get away from my BPD self. Of course you can't get away from yourself. So once again, I was back in hospital. In and out. In and out. Finally, I got referred to a BPD specialist clinic in Melbourne. Long story short, after a lot of therapy and hard work, I'm here to tell my BPD story.

It's been a while now. All I can say is that life couldn't be better. People with BPD have so many strengths. So it seems @Miss_BPD , now it is about helping you over this hurdle.

If you want to start from the beginning again, I think it is about going to your GP first. Raise the same concerns you have raised here, and see where they direct you.

I never had to go around with a piece of paper to 'prove' I had BPD. Therapy is about working with whatever the symptoms a person presents so that they can function to a greater extent in society. Let your psychologist/s know you struggle with XYZ symptoms and you identify as someone who has BPD.

Word of warning about psychiatrists....as @Andrew_Jackson  mentioned, it is about finding the right psychiatrist. Psychiatrists usually deal with the med side of things.... which, fortunately AND unfortunately, is not the answer for BPD. Meds simply work with the symptoms of BPD (e.g. anxiety, insomnia, depression). The real work is done using psychotherapies (psychology).

Once again, thank you so much for reaching out and posting.

We recently had a few info nights on BPD to celebrate BPD Awareness Week. You are welcome to read through these in your own time.

Topic Tuesday // BPD Awareness Week 2021 – Discover Creative Wellbeing // Tues 5th October, 7pm-8:3... 

LIVE CHAT: BPD for Friends, Family and Carers - This Sunday 3rd October 7:00-8:30pm AEDT 

Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script 

If you have any further questions, I'd be happy to chat to you about them. If you could get a degree for BPD, I think i'd get a PHD! I've lived with it for over a decade and have navigated the ups and downs that come with it.

I look forward to supporting you through your journey too.

BPDSurvivor

[Miss_BPD]

Thank you so much for sharing your story @BPDSurvivor

Reading that makes me not feel so alone with all this, I don't know anyone who goes through what I do so I definitely appreciate your input!

This is the first time I've really been able to word my emotions because they're so chaotic and I'm still trying to understand them so that's probably why I've been having so much trouble as well. I also live in a small country town in VIC so I had to drive 150km just to get to my sessions but I'll be moving to S.A where I'll have more options for support so that's why I was curious with how you become diagnosed officially.

Thanks @Andrew_Jackson for your input as well!

[Judi9877]

Hi there @Miss_BPD and welcome to the forums! It's great that you've decided to reach out for help so that's a big step and I appreciate and applaud you for doing that.

I also have BPD and like the others on here with experiences of BPD, I had trouble being diagnosed initially as well. I had so many conditions put before my final diagnosis including bipolar disorder and heightened anxiety as well as homesickness (I was studying at Uni interstate at the time and away from all of my family) but in the end, along with schizophrenia and depression, the great psychiatrist I finally got and connected with added BPD to my mix of mental illnesses. It just takes time and perseverance to get a diagnosis of BPD as there are many different illnesses that can mimic BPD as I stated before like bipolar disorder. I'm sure in time you'll get the answer you're looking for with BPD but just be aware that it can take time to get to that point. I've even had the experience recently where I tried to get my diagnosis of BPD changed to complex post traumatic stress disorder which is similar to BPD in some ways only to learn through my experiences in hospital for a psychosis episode and treatment at a PARCS facility in Melbourne that yes, I do agree to the BPD diagnosis due to me having trouble regulating my emotions and learning how to handle some of my triggers. It's been hard to accept but I'm finally in agreement with the diagnosis. It also helps that I have connected with a great psychologist who has experience with BPD and who is prepared to stick around despite the diagnosis which adds to my positive outlook on the disorder. Let's just say my psychologist challenges me in good ways to question things about myself and how I see things so I get to see the 'grey' areas of a situation instead of the traditional black and white which BPD is known for.

I do know that people with BPD are great people and can do things that others don't expect them to do like achieve dreams and goals, such as work in a job or go to uni for example. My father thought I was ruined for life after hearing of my 3 conditions but I'm definitely not and I'm achieving things I never thought possible like doing volunteer work as well as studying at both uni and tafe - these have had to be put off recently for 5 weeks due to me falling mentally unwell due to psychosis and being admitted to hospital- but I'm still back doing these things and living life. Yes, i constantly battle certain elements of my BPD but I'm learning to get stronger at them and continue to get better. Life is a challenge and each day, I'm managing to survive and win each day, despite what it gives me.

I believe you are a great person who understands what's wrong but just needs someone to spend the time to help you out so you can move on in your life which will happen. 

@BPDSurvivor has given you some wonderful advice which is great and I know that this forum member is practically an expert at BPD so take note of what they say as it's invaluable stuff. Feel free to look on the discussion boards regarding BPD as well.

Take care and I wish you all the best!

Judi9877

[BPDSurvivor]

How exciting @Miss_BPD ! There is a big push in the BPD space in SA. I hope you can connect with services there.

If you go to The BPD Advocate (a newsletter released by the Australian BPD Foundation), you'll find various resources in each state. I can't upload the newsletter here, so perhaps you can do a Google search. I find this newsletter extremely helpful in knowing the events and activities people with BPD can particulate in. 

What's good is that covid has enabled services to be provided online including DBT. I know it's not the same, but it's definitely better than nothing. Currently, I have two psychologists and all my sessions are online. 

As you connect with other people here, they can also share their own stories about how they were first diagnosed (if that's what you are interested in).

Have a look around, and I welcome you to reach out if you have any questions.

Take Care,

BPDSurvivor

[Miss_BPD]

Hi @Judi9877

Thank you for your input and sharing your experiences, it's most appreciated!

When I was seeing my Psychologist, I only answered questions and she gave me a recording of herself to listen to but it made me feel really uncomfortable (I get that way when I feel like I'm being spoken to in a certain way). But she didn't really challenge me in any way or show me any techniques to help when I get so low or angry so I now see that it may take awhile for me to find someone who will help me the way I need.

[Miss_BPD]

Thanks @BPDSurvivor I had no idea, I’ll definitely check that out!

I appreciate everyone’s stories and input, it’s made me feel a lot less alone with all this!

[BPDSurvivor]

I'm glad @Miss_BPD . Rest assured, you are definitely not alone.