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Re: Coping with Christmas

I also actually suffer a mild form of PTSD. Brought about by home life. Thanks so much to a 'loving, caring' family and ex hubby.
Former-Member
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Re: Coping with Christmas

 

ugh I can't even write about this

Former-Member
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Re: Coping with Christmas

OK sorry people. My problems with xmas are these. 

I need to go and stay with my parents in NSW. That house and my proximity to them are triggering in a PTSD-type way. Combined with my DID that means that things - triggers and responses - will happen that neither me, nor anyone else in my system that I trust, will know about them, let alone be able to control or deal with. In the past, that's led to serious SH. We're worried about safety for that reason. 

We have to go for our kids' sake. They know about the DID in a kind of non-medical way. They grew up knowing that more than one person lives in our body. That's how they understand us. But they don't know why we're like this or that there's a connection with our parents and extended family. We don't want them to know.

In previous years - well, last year we were in hospital - but for the 5 or so years before that, we lived in WA and had the excuse that it was too far and too expensive to travel across for one day. Now we're in Vic and can't use that excuse so we need to go there. We're trying to prepare. It's not just the fact of being with them, but the actual date/anniversary/event is triggering itself. That's why it's so huge for us, because each aspect involves different parts of our system (sorry, I know this probably doesn't make much sense to people) - basically, it just makes it harder for us to use the normal techniques that keep us safe in triggering situations.

What y'all will understand is that it basically sucks in a really big way Smiley Frustrated We wish the whole holiday could just be removed from the calendar.

Re: Coping with Christmas

Oh @Former-Member, that sounds really tough for you to go through - the season and the place both triggering trauma flashbacks, and the DID, and high risk of SH.

I don't have any experience of DID, so I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions for that. It's good that your kids know about you having it. Hopefully you can get through the visit to your parents with minimum distress to you, and minimum inpact on your kids.

Best wishes for success with your strategies for staying safe and well.
I wish we could delete Xmas from the calendar too - next best thing, get through it safely, and not have to think about it much before or afterwards.
Former-Member
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Re: Coping with Christmas

@Former-Member is there anyway your family could visit you this Christmas. I know how much it means to you to see your kids. It seems like there has to be another option. I'm just wondering if you could get around some of it.

Re: Coping with Christmas

Thank you too, @Former-Member
My sister will be there, and she is a terrific support.
I asked my aunt if we could have Xmas in a different place this year, and she wasn't happy about it, but she agreed, so that will make it a bit easier for me
Former-Member
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Re: Coping with Christmas

Good on you for asking your aunty if you could have Christmas somewhere else @greenspace

That's great that you have a supportive sister.

I look forward to hearing how it all goes for you.  xoxo

I choose to pretend that it's not happening, until the time comes, then I'll try to plan something different.  Woman Happy

Former-Member
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Re: Coping with Christmas

Thanks @greenspace, hopefully it won't be as bad as expected. 

I don't know if there's any way around it @Former-Member. It would be nice if there was. I've been trying to just ignore it - there's a big work thing I need to do this month and then next month we need to find a new house and move before xmas so there are other things to focus on. It's hard to know if it's better to ignore it for the time being or try to plan for it though. 

 

Former-Member
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Re: Coping with Christmas

Hi @Former-Member, haven't seen you for ages, you OK?
Former-Member
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Re: Coping with Christmas

My son hinted he might come home for Christmas this year. Might? With my girl gone and S1 with d-Inlaws or grandparents this last 2 years (which crushed me by the way), I don't look fwd to Christmas. God knows NONE of my family of origin can come to me so far away, not for 12yrs now, and ALL friends are too busy with their own families. Just too hard, decided to boycott it really, but if I he boy comes - that will be good, I'll make an effort 🙂 maybe 🙂