Lived Experience Forum

[Justinee]

hi everyone Im new to this forum.

My name is Justinee i am 54 yrs old.

I live in Sydney and I am a victim of historical sexual abuse,guilt and emotional trauma

[NatureLover]

Hi and a big welcome, @Justinee . It's good to have you here, where people can relate to what you're going through.

I'm sorry to hear of your traumatic background. I'm wondering what professional supports you have in place? Like a good GP or counsellor?

Feel free to share more about how you're feeling...you can also type any topic into the search bar to look for threads on that topic. A handy forum tip is to type @ and then click on a member's name in the drop-down box - that way they'll get a notification that you're replying to them.

I hope you find listening ears and support here. 

[WIP]

Hi @Justinee 

Im new to SANE forums this week too, and getting used to how it all works.  There has been many supportive people posting words of encouragement.

im so sorry to hear of your history, which most obviously has had a huge impact on your life.

this is a safe place, where others listen and offer support (if you're open to it).

Do you have support of family & friends and are you seeing Medical practitioners to help you through your challenges?

Hang in there 😊

[Maggie]

@Justinee  Well done on starting your thread.

I have a similar history to yours, you are among many others who understand how difficult this journey is.

Good to see you here. 

[Lostandalone]

Welcome @Justinee 

Come sit with us and chat

we are here to support you 

[Justinee]

I go through times where Im very happy then there is a trigger that sets me back and it gets harder to get up again.

Im in a same sex marriage I have been with my wife now 25 years.she too is a victim from  the past so she too has triggers which pull her down at times.

We try and hold each other up but sometimes its hard when you see your partner of 25yrs struggling 😪😪

[NatureLover]

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@Justinee wrote:

We try and hold each other up but sometimes its hard when you see your partner of 25yrs struggling 😪😪

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I'm glad to hear you have a supportive wife, @Justinee .

Do you have a counsellor at all?

[Justinee]

When Im low I get really needy in the sense I panic where my partner is etc so much so she feels like she is trapped and I dont trust her.....far from the truth I trust her with my life but sometimes I dont trust others close to us from past experience many years ago where people pretended to care but were out to destroy us.....

I have a very supportive GP but i didnt like counselling as I dontike talking about the past...there are too many scars unhealed.

I had a brain tumor 4 yrs ago removed and since surgery I have alot of past issues coming out.

Parent issues with me included....they have both passed away seddenly and I never got the chance to tell them how cruel they were to me.

Ive decided to write a journal of my life with them then bury it with them as I have there ashes at home still with us.🤔🤔🤔does this make sense to you ????

[Justinee]

I spoke to one and told them how i was feeling there are alot of past issues im trying to deal with i dont know how to write them all down without people reading it and thinking Im some crazy women but my story is fact..

Alcoholic mum.

Im the only child.

Dad was hard worker.

I lost both parents 2014 and 15.

I found out that I had an older sister who died still born in 64 i was born 66.

I also found I have a half sister who is much older then me.

I was sexually traumtised over a 10 period by a male who was a friend and GP.

I have started to write a letter to my parents for what they did to me.

The counsellor thinks this will help me 

I dont know what a counsellor could do for me long term 😕😕thats why I joined this group in the hope others could help me 

[Maggie]

@Justinee  That’s such a lot to deal with.

I think a journal is a good way to get things out of your head. It’s another way of looking at it I think.

I found a counsellor helped in being able to tell my story to another human being. A big thing for me was being heard, but a bigger part, was being believed. Some is unbelievable, but true. I’ve only shared parts with this one person.

I’m pleased you have a supportive partner.

Take care. Sitting with you, listening and caring. 💕💕💕