Lived Experience Forum

[Whiteknight]

The older I've got the more I realise how anxiety comes from all directions.

Hypothetically if all people were gone from the world and there was only you left, would you be anxious? Sure we'd be lonely but anxious? These would be the things we'd be anxious about- enough food, shelter, warmth, fire etc. We would no longer have anxiety from - bills, people interactions etc. We'd only worry about being rescued.

Then we meet up with a group of people and because of loneliness and the effectiveness of a group in catching food for example and sharing utensils, we join that group. Suddenly we are anxious - theft of our own food, stealing our partner, dominance of one over the other, etc.

So we can separate the reasons why we are anxious, its origins. Then we can do something about it. We can- distance ourselves from people or at least those people whose personality fuels our anxiety, we can budget our finances, maybe get a second job, we can change our environment to live in the country and we can avoid other things that make us anxious that maybe are personal experiences.

There is also a big difference between excitement and anxiety. I see anxiety as worry and nervousness combined.

Worry is something that has few positives. It could help you get more punctual or remember birthdays but overall it is something that we have to train ourselves to stop. We can reduce worry nowadays with using our phone by placing all important birthdays in it. Then however, if we lose our phone we worry that those dates are gone. We can write them all down with a biro but then worry when we misplace them. So worry can be present no matter what we do. It's one of those inground personality things we can do without. It can come from expectations of others or ourselves.

To help illiminate worry we can replace the things we worry about with solid ideas. We worry about our finances but being realistic about fixing the problem we have to introduce ways to get rid of the issue like that budget or that extra income. Maybe I saw my mother all the time in tears saying "I dont know what I'm going to do if your father doesnt sell and insurance policy soon". What could I have done- nothing. What could she have done? maybe get a part time job as she never worked in employment all her life.

Hence I sought ways, practical positive ways to overcome the worry that was instilled in my mind. You can to. No one said it was going to be easy, but it is a goal you can introduce. Worry is the enemy of happiness and the creator of frowning.

WK

[Margot]

That's so true, anxiety can be productive and unproductive in different situations. Discerning between "unhelpful worry" and "productive problem solving" is a great strategy. What a great insight @Whiteknight

Thanks for sharing  😊

[Whiteknight]

Thankyou @Margot

I've found that in order to be effective in my self help I needed to drop off some "baggage. One of them was worry.

WK 🙂