Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Tootsy]

Thank you for your support, it means a lot. Today was better thankfully, it’s tiring after a hard night but hopefully the week will get better. This work/life/carer balance does get exhausting. 

[Tootsy]

Thank you, yes I’m ok. I’m keen to chat another time when I’m free as I know talking helps and I just realised you guys know what it’s like! Friends and family are great but they don’t “get” it do they. Light bulb moment !

[Shaz51]

Anytime my friend @Tootsy 

Will  tag you xx if you like 😀☕️☕️

[tyme]

Good on you @Tootsy - @Shaz51 knows first hand what it is like. I'm glad you have connected with us 🙂

[Shaz51]

@Tootsy 

Finding the balance is hard sometimes and with lots of ups and downs along the way 

Here for you anytime xx

I am off to bed now , hope you sleep well and keep in touch 

@tyme , @Basil 💤💤

[Jo4123]

Hi I'm new to the forum so sorry if I'm posting in the wrong place. 

Like so many of you I have a husband who suffers with depression and anxiety. He takes medication for the anxiety but would never go to counselling. His self medication has made him an alcoholic and paranoid. The paranoid delusions have been getting worse. He believes the neighbours at the bottom of the garden spy on us and this is ramping up his anxiety and anger. Last week he exploded in fury and woke up in a depressed state. He has done this before but has managed to pull himself out of it after a few days. This time is different.  He seemed to be recovering but tonight I came home and he was drunk and angry and just kept looping around saying the same things about the neighbours. I can't see how he can let this go. He is threatening to leave as he says the situation is hurting his head, but won't go to see the doctor (it's the neighbours fault not his!). Is there any way I can get him help? I'm at my wits end and feel stressed lonely and hurt.

[TuxedoCat]

hey @Jo4123, welcome to the forums ❤️ I'm TuxedoCat, one of the peer-moderators here. Glad that you've joined us and thank you for having the courage to share your story with us. 

This sounds like a really distressing situation for you and your husband. It sounds like you have been really caring and understanding of him, but it must be really frustrating knowing your husband would benefit from some help, yet he won't go to some counselling. What have you tried  so far?  

Sometimes when our partners use alcohol or explode in fury, it can make us feel unsafe. Are there times when you feel unsafe at all? 

Take care and here to listen,

TuxedoCat

[Shaz51]

Hello and welcome @Jo4123 

Sending you lots of understanding hugs 

And am glad you are here 

My husband  had cancelled all help and we have had lots of ups and downs 

In our case , my husband finally had a breakdown and a hospital stay and had his medication adjusted and added 

@TuxedoCat , @Tootsy , @Carlachris 

[Jo4123]

Hi thanks for the support.  I have never felt physically unsafe. He is only verbally violent. I just sort of numb myself when he's raging.The past week I have felt extremely stressed but have reached out to two people I know for the first time.  It is a relief to share and I don't feel quite  so alone. We live in a small town and so I've always worried that if I spoke to someone it might get back to him which would make matters much worse,  but I can't do this on my own any more.

[Shaz51]

Ohh @Jo4123 , that is very true of me too , this is why Sane forums have helped me soo much to help my husband  xx

@TuxedoCat