Lived Experience Forum

[ruby1109cube]

I've suffered from Mental Health issues since I was an Adult. It seemed this was part of my right to passage into this part of my life. Yes Coviid19 is affecting all. For me and Easter break I think what the heck bestfriends don't have time to send more than Happy Easter and some Emoji's. I haven't seen these bestfriends like forever. Both are very busy but with their dextrex fingers and clear minds they could extend on that. I actually told them come on, ore info and one said she would reply later.. One of the best friends said I'm making up some soup and will drop you off so and to this other bestfriend who lives next door to her. Well that didn't turn up and now I can't help but play this game now she finally has sent me a message. I'm cross and don't want to read it. See how she feels waiting. Actually maybe I should get the message and cut ties. Another friend it took 5 days to send a reply. My new found half sister across the globe can't even respond and messages from my nephew have stopped. I admit when I write I go on forever but I do try to touch base on questions they've asked and what they spoke of.

It must be me and what I say. I do give too much detail but I can't help it. Yes sometimes it's inappropriate. I have bi-polar with sexual behaviour issues, anxiety and depression. It's become a real issue not being courteous and using manners. I hate technology sometimes as there is no etiquette. They can't spare me 5 mins to type a message!

[Bezak482]

I have trouble with people not messaging back too. I have learned to live with it as people lead busy lives and have families, their own problems, work stress and schedules etc. I am happy/pleasantly surprised if people get back to me within 24 hours.

I disagree - there is some etiquette for tech but its different for everyone. Sending a text before calling is a good one (lots of people have their phones on silent and won't answer right away). I don't use voice messaging services as a lot of people don't check these anymore. Also, the time you text or call is important (different for everyone, depends on when people work, get up etc).

I also have a problem where I send texts and people read the tone of the text differently to me e.g. not understanding my sense of humour. This has caused problems especially when I was dating in the past.

If texts are a problem, maybe just send one saying "hey, haven't caught up with you in a while, is it ok if I give you a call for a chat? what time suits you best?" or something like that. That way you can go back to the old fashioned conversation/phone call if you prefer.

Hope this helps a little bit!

Cheers

[Former-Member]

Hi @ruby1109cube . Sorry I'm just seeing your thread and replying now, I hope you don't mind. Welcome btw.

I'm sorry you feel ignored by your "friends". I know how you feel, I have so many people like this, who I don't even consider "friends" anymore. It took me ages to not care about them and have the "their loss" attitude, but it's helped me a bit. I only put effort in for those who put effort in for me. Lots of people can't even say hi, happy birthday, ask how I am, whatever, whereas I put in effort and get nothing in return. Yes people are busy but it's not that hard and can mean a lot to somebody.

I would say it's their losses, you haven't done anything wrong, I'm sure you're a good person and friend and you sound like you mean well, you just want people to talk to sometimes, and to be listened to and understood. I relate to you there.

They're not worth your time and effort and they're not your "friends". Some people you barely know or have never met (internet friends) can be better than people you do know, I've found, and understand and mean better, and have time for you.

I have some Internet friends from America that I feel are like a second family to me and one from the UK that I've never met (i'm not trying to brag though), and they understand and are accepting of me and make the effort even despite timezones and my mental illnesses, although they have been through it and understand too, so that helps.

I hope you can find some people that will talk to you and understand, and make an effort. I know how difficult and upsetting it is, I really do. I'm sorry. @ruby1109cube 

[ruby1109cube]

No, I'm not buying into this busy life business.

I have hand tremors and mobile messaging takes me sooo long.

People that don't have Mental Health issues can punch out a Message in less than 5 mins.

I hear what they have been up to. One of my Bestfriends is struggling with how to tell a guy she is not interested. So she is Messaging him but not me.

Two minutes before they put their body into bed do a Message.

[Former-Member]

I agree with you, but I was just trying to help and reassure you. Sorry @ruby1109cube