Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Emelia8]

Yes @Anastasia I'm here.

Just watching I'm A Celebrity on TV. A bit of mindless fun. 

Gosh my lovely, you surely are dealing with a heck of a lot all at once. Little wonder you are not doing well right now. Really sorry to hear of the black thoughts too.

Anyway ... Im here for you.

Emelia 💞

[HenryX]

Hello @Anastasia , and @Emelia8 , @Appleblossom and other visitors to this thread

I refer to other visitors to the thread @Anastasia , though I am not sure that you would feel comfortable with a crowd at the moment. I read your message with concern and, I believe, some level of understanding and empathy. Not sure what support that I or others can offer. As on other occasions, the frustration imposed by the limitations of our digital connection are felt on all quarters.

Please let us know what's happening for you at the moment. By the sounds of it conflicting feelings of just wanting to drop and fear of conceding to the feelings?

With You as Closely as Possible in this Format

@HenryX 

[Anastasia]

Thank you @HenryX @Emelia8 

I just feel like I've been on this roller coaster for so long. A new year and yet it's just as :pile_of_poo: as the last, in fact more so because I know I'll lose Dad. 

I don't know what I want and don't expect any advice I'm just sad, tired, lonely, exhausted and wish I could flick a switch for all of us really to make everything better 

[Emelia8]

Yep, I can understand all that @Anastasia 😔💔 you've had so much to deal with for way too long. I wish I knew what to say, that may make things seem not quite as dire or dark. But I dont.

Yes, wouldnt it be nice to have access to a switch that we could just give a flick ... and everything would be okay. If I had access to that switch, you would be the first I would wish to bestow it upon. And then my other friends here. Can always dream of better times ahead.

Meanwhile all I can offer is a big hearfelt cyber hug.

Emelia 💞

[HenryX]

Hi @Anastasia 

With regard to your Dad and your feelings with regard to your Dad and Mum, the waiting and not knowing is the most difficult. For you that has been compounded by the complexities of covid, hospital admissions and a range of treatment options.

You are still working and caring for your son and his welfare as well. That sounds like burning a four sided candle to me.

To some degree, what I have written is restating some of what you have said, but it also impresses on my mind the level of stretching that you seem to be requiring of yourself at the present time.

Unfortunately, considering relief from some of the pressure may also raise issues in your own mind about the implications of how that may come about. And those are considerations that you may also be wanting to push out of your mind, or at least ignore for as long as possible. That adds to the internal tension.

I hope that what I am saying may just give you some reassurance that your situation is observed and as far as is possible, support is being offered. Even if we can believe that mental energy is transferable through space and time. @Emelia8 and I have alluded to those ideas during recent discussions.

Hopefully we can project those sentiments and energy toward you from where we are at the present time.

Cheers, @HenryX 

[Anastasia]

Thank you both for hearing me and validating my issues. I hate feeling "sorry for myself" for want of a better expression. 

I feel guilty too because I haven't been anything much to anyone here for some time now. 

Hugs and love and light to both of you.

You mean a lot to me and your support is truly a gift tonight, thank you @Emelia8 and @HenryX 🙏💞

[HenryX]

It is a reciprocal and mutual arrangement @Anastasia , so definitely no reason to feel guilty. Sometimes, our ability to express our concerns, feelings and needs actually allows others, and us in our turn, to feel that we have the opportunity to return some of what we have received at other times. That is the balancing process. This is one of the reasons that we have no need to feel that sense of guilt or shame that we often feel and refer to.

What we offer and receive is not time bound and how would we ever quantify in a way that we may ever wish, what we offer and receive. While sometimes it may not feel like it, there is ultimately a balance to all things. Again, the poem Desiderata comes to mind. And somehow, though it may not always be apparent, there is a reason and a time for everything.

Cheers, @HenryX 

[NatureLover]

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@Anastasia wrote:

I'm not doing well tonight. Black thoughts that are consuming me tonight. Questioning everything.

---

So sorry to hear, @Anastasia  😞 And the rest of your post too 😞

I hope you were able to manage some sleep...

Sending wishes and hugs and 💚

[Appleblossom]

@Anastasia 

Def a pile of poo.  Def makes sense you do not have energy for work.

Sorry to hear about your older son. Hope he gets over covid without too much escalation of symptoms.

Facing your father's death a major life event.

Fingers crossed for younger boy.

Hope you do not mind that i repost similar pictures.  It is my way of settling on things that I like and slowing the world down.  I do not feel better by have too many snazzy pics to choose form. 

Keep seeing beautyMcCubbin King St bakeryPositions and feelings

[Anastasia]

Hello lovely Apple,

thank you for responding, it means a lot...

I love your pictures 💕

Take care of you and yours @Appleblossom