Skip to main content
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Our stories

Former-Member
Not applicable

The black dog

Hi all. I'm from the lived experience forum but I think I need to wander over here, hopefully for some advice. I've recently been disgnosed with anxiety and depression which has been quite debilitating in the last few months. My partner has been the most loving, caring, supportive person ever. Last night we ended up in emergency because he had chest pain and couldn't breathe. Turns out it was a panic attack. While we were there he broke down in tears and said he is afraid he is becoming depressed because his heart breaks to see me so sad. He said he is so scared of what's happening to me, and not being/doing "enough". Now we are both scared that we're both going to spiral deep down into this black hole and neither of us will be able to pull ourselves or the other out. Any advice?? He doesn't want to see a psychologist (of course!) thanks in advance

24 REPLIES 24

Re: The black dog

Hello @Former-Member 

have a look at these 2 threads, there is a difference between compassion fatigue which i get all the time and carer`s burnout

I have tagged you ther too

Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

 

Carers Hints and tips to Success

Re: The black dog

Hello @Former-Member

also click on the thread below , it is about burnout

soynds like he is having compassion fatique but have a read xx

 

 

Re: The black dog

Hi @Former-Member i found you sweetie 💕💕

I know he said that he doesnt want to see a psych but maybe you could suggest him going to a therapy session for couples so he has you there as well and also he can get some more reliable information about how to gelp you...?

Maybe you could give him the black dog institute website to have a look as well. They have quite abit of information and he is also able to email them with all his concerns as well
Hugs to you sitting with you 💕💕

Re: The black dog

Hello @outlanderSmiley Happy

Hello @Former-Member, SANE has some writting resourses as well to have a look at too

Re: The black dog

Hello @Former-Member

Compassion fatigue 

 Warning signs - cognition

 

  • Intrusive thoughts and/or images of consumers’ traumatic situations
  • Developing a worldview in terms of victims and perpetrators
  • Decreased sense of safety
  • Increased suspicion of others
  • Decreased trust in others
  • Diminished feelings of personal control and freedom
  • Feelings of therapeutic impotence/helplessness
  • Loss of hope
  • Guilt
  • Victim-blaming
  • Diminished sense of purpose, accomplishment, or enjoyment of work
  • Difficulties with attention and concentration
  • Increased forgetfulness

 

Warning signs – psychological / emotional warning signs

 

  • Increased anger and irritability
  • Lower frustration tolerance
  • Depression
  • Decreased ability to feel joy
  • Increased feelings of anxiety
  • Feelings of horror or dread
  • Inability to maintain balance between empathy and objectivity
  • Feeling unappreciated, alienated, and isolated
  • Emotional withdrawal from colleagues, friends, and family
  • Over-identification with person you’re supporting

 

Warning signs – Physical

 

  • Chronic fatigue
  • Increased somatic complaints (headache, stomach aches, back pain, etc.)
  • Increased muscle tension
  • Physiological arousal in the form of palpitations and hypervigilance

 

  • Warning signs – behavioural
  • Difficulty sleeping (insomnia or oversleeping)
  • Workaholism
  • Increase in addictive behaviors such as compulsive eating or substance abuse
  • Impairment in day-to-day functioning including missed or cancelled appointments
  • Increased isolation
  • Chronic lateness
  • Increased absenteeism from work

Compassion fatigue is different to burn out, but can have related warning signs. However, the main differences are compassion fatigue can happen quickly and is mostly focused on a person or one element of your life (ie: a nurse may still be able to show compassion and support for a family member or friend, but not patients or collegues). While it's quick to come, it can also be quick to go, especially when focusing on self-care.

While burn out is a slow burn (see what I did there?) It often is related to a number of things in your life building up and spilling over, so it's gradual. It often hits us harder and can be longer to recover from.

Re: The black dog

@Shaz51 i just tagged @Former-Member in cherrybombs comapssion fatigue thread too 🙂

Re: The black dog

hello @Former-Member

The following about Burn out is going to a bit text heavy. It might be worth skimming it, looking at each stage and some of the dot points associated with it, and come back another time to read it in depth. 

 

Some frameworks suggest that burn out consists of three stages

 

Stage 1 – Stress Arousal

Stage 2 – Energy Conservation

Stage 3 – Exhaustion

 

Stage 1 - Stress Arousal

  • Irritability
  • Anxiety
  • Bruxism (grinding teeth at night)
  • Insomnia
  • Forgetfulness/poor concentration
  • Gastro-intestinal disorders
  • Headaches

Stress Arousal.

Stress arousal includes physiological and psychological responses. Some of these include persistent irritability, persistent anxiety, periods of high blood pressure, bruxism (the grinding of teeth during sleep), insomnia, and forgetfulness. Additionally, you may have heart palpitations, unusual heart arrhythmia, concentration problems, headaches/stomach problems, and acute gastrointestinal symptoms. With the presence of any two of these, you may be experiencing stage 1 stress arousal.

 

Stage 2 - Energy Conservation

  • Lateness
  • Procrastination/turning work in late
  • Excessive time off
  • Sexual dysfunction
  • Fatigue
  • Social withdrawal
  • Increased substance use

 

Energy Conservation.

Energy conservation attempts to compensate for stress. If those strategies fail, consequences might include excessive lateness; procrastination; excessive time off; sexual dysfunction (desire, performance); persistent tiredness; social withdrawal from friends and family; increased cynicism; resentment; increased substance use (nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, prescription drugs); excessive apathy; and lack or loss of spirituality. Again, any two of these symptoms may signal you're in stage 2 of the burnout cycle.

Stage 3 - Exhaustion

  • Chronic sadness/depression
  • Suicidal ideations
  • Chronic headaches
  • Social isolation

 Exhaustion

The exhaustion stage is where most people finally get a sense that something may be wrong. The symptoms include: chronic sadness or depression, chronic stomach or bowel problems, chronic mental fatigue, chronic physical fatigue, chronic headaches or migraines, the desire to "drop out" of society… the desire to get away from family, friends, and even recurrent suicidal ideation. Like the previous stages any two of these symptoms can indicate stage 3 burnout.

Re: The black dog

me too @outlander, thanks for that Heart

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: The black dog

Wow thanks so much @Shaz51 and @outlander. I have some reading to do tonight! xxx
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

Further information:

  • Loading...

For urgent assistance