Lived Experience Forum

[Maggie]

@CheerBear  I’ve re read your school parent meeting with other coming in guns blazing. Seriously not a good situation to be put in. And with all that’s going on in your life right now, that was the last thing you needed.

I think aggression gets action, that’s what I see with kind of friend anyway. Most people don’t really enjoy confrontation and bullying, but it works magic sometimes.

Its not something I ever want, but don’t think I need to worry. I’m alway debriefing with my counsellor, and seriously wonder about myself and the relationship. But it is what it is, for whatever reasons.

I hope your gig is going well. Wondering if you are wearing your boots. 🤔🤔

[CheerBear]

Thanks @Maggie for listening and for getting it as you do so well. I felt very rattled by it at the time. Heart racing, voice shaky etc. It wasn't an ideal situation especially after the week I've had but I did my best to listen, respond not react, diffuse etc. and it was a great learning experience really. We have a big group meeting tomorrow morning (instead of the 1:1 yesterday). It'll be interesting to see what happens next.

It sounds like there is some good in your relationship with kind of friend even though it's tricky. I hope it's ok for you (gentle-ish) to wonder about yourself in that context. I think we all have tricky relationships and things we'd maybe prefer to not be part of if our situations were different. That's what I keep telling myself anyway.

Gig went super thanks 🙂 I really should stop questioning myself every gig-morning as it's a good thing to be part of generally and I get a lot from it too. No boots though. I go 'toned down me'. The self restraint that takes... 😆 One day when I'm a wee bit more confident I'll be less toned down I think. Definitely will draw on glitter power for the meeting tomorrow morning 😉

Wondering how your day has been (as I race out to pick up the kids). Hope there has been good in it 💕☕

[Maggie]

The @CheerBear  toned down version. 😁😁😁

I don’t think any relationship is easy, or should I say, they are very tricky for me. I think there’s give and take in there somewhere. Kind of friend knows she will get away with bad behaviour with me and others. Unfortunately for me, I can never be one step ahead, as my mind doesn’t think that way. Sometimes, that can be more annoying. Like all of us though, she’s a mixture of good and bad, and we all need acceptance.

She does know now, that I will take so much, then I will back off. I can’t argue, it’s not me. And like you in your meeting, heart racing, voice shaking and high pitched, gotta hate that one. 😂😂😂

Big meet tomorrow with glitter. 😁😁😁

I’ve done some more rocks, not too happy with them though. Pressed some leaves. Time to make some cards. I might do some for the fund raiser.

Hope you have a nice evening with LF. Is the hot water still working? I hope so. 🤞🤞🤞

[CheerBear]

I struggle with relationships too @Maggie and really benefit from debriefing like it sounds you do with your counsellor. It's funny hearing about kind of friend. I can be mouthy and fiery and probably someone who could be taken as aggressive at times (I've been told I'm that and then some) but I think once you get to know me I'm not really and it's maybe all a bit of a front (defense and protection mechanism) to protect very gooey, delicate insides. That's why the forum works for me I think. You only get the goo 😆

Does kind of friend pick up on your discomfort at times? I think fireballs like me and maybe like kind of friend really need to try to be aware of the impact we might be having on less firebally kind of people. Bullying and flattening isn't OK, neither is taking advantage of the fire factor as it sounds she might do. It would be very hard for you to be almost needing to be one step ahead but not being able to get there.

You've had a crafty kind of day it seems. It sounds nice and I hope it's been okay for you to do that today.

Yes still have hot water 🎉 Plumbers here all day Friday (which is why boots had to happen yesterday) for house inspection day. That's annoying but I'll be happy when it's all over. Everything crossed the hot water stays on until then 🤞

I'm kicking myself out of the forum to do some housework and kid stuff now. Lotsa ❤ to all. Hope the day has been ok for everyone.

[CheerBear]

Dropping off ☕ and a hi if anyone is around @Maggie and all. No pressure though 🙂

[Maggie]

Hi @CheerBear  kettle on here. ☕️☕️☕️☕️

[CheerBear]

How are you going this morning @Maggie?

[Maggie]

Thinking a lot about relationships @CheerBear. Our conversation yesterday. I don’t think being mouthy and aggressive is anything like kind of friend. Though I struggle to think of you like that. Kind of friend feels entitled and then some. NPD to her backbone. My mother was the same. Both need to be the centre of attention, and get their way, no matter who, and what.

I was talking to my counsellor yesterday and we talked about feeling of losing it. How I feel most days now. Her version goes like , people don’t get up one day and lose it. It takes pressure upon pressure. For me, might be you too, months of being ignored untruths, a wearing down of coping stuff. Basic human needs not being considered nor met. That kind of stuff.

Anyway, there’s a fragile side to kind of friend, she would hate to think I see glimpses of it. Not goo at all, don’t know a word for it. Not soft, but maybe a place she can be hurt.

Anyway, a big conversation to start the day. I’ve had some light entertainment overnight. 

Hows today looking. Meeting for you today.

[CheerBear]

I've been thinking about our conversation a bit too @Maggie, as I often do when big topics are coffee-d over. NPD is super tricky and the entitled and then some as well as getting their way no matter who and what would be very hard to be around. I imagine friend's behaviour triggering feelings and memories of your mother at times, though I could be wrong. It would have been very hard growing up with that. I hope it was OK to have that conversation yesterday.

I really, really like your counsellor's way of seeing things and I appreciate that you share some of it with us. Pressure upon pressure causing losing it. The volcano metaphor fits so well for me for that reason. Perhaps we have different ways of 'losing it' but what's going on to get there can be similar.

Meeting this morning. 4am wake up in panic. The meeting, the calendar, too much stuff... I am trying so so hard to be in "one thing at a time" but it's not always working out that way. Straight after it I have my support coordinator bringing around a potential new support person to meet. I shouldn't have said yes to it but support coordinator is trying and wants me to be well supported through the next couple of weeks in the lead up to my brain smahing NDIS plan review. We'll see how it goes today I guess.

How about you? How's your day looking?

[Maggie]

It’s hard to be a one thing at a time person, when more than one thing keeps getting thrown at you. 

Sorry about the 4am wake up panic feels. 💜💜

I hope support worker works out. Really tough stuff for you.💜💜💜

Yes kind of friend can be triggering, but so many things are. I just do the best I can. I feel I need to look ahead with everything these days. Something as simple as cancelling food here, could have a domino effect and make life harder. I’m bumping into brick walls everywhere. 

I saw a beautiful sky during the night. Light/dark grey clouds, with the moon light peeping through. Some nights are lovely.

Topup. ☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️