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RedHorse
Senior Contributor

Struggling

Struggling at the moment.

 

I'm experiencing a combination of depression and anxiety bringing up all sorts of negative memories. Mistakes I made and opportunities I failed to take up.

 

It's making me feel unwell, jittery, hopeless, painfully uncomfortable and unable to rest.

 

I'm not even sure I will post this but at least it gives me something to focus on in the moment.

 

I know other people have real problems. When I look at my life objectively I feel like a fraud. I'm weak and lazy.

 

Like why can't I just start doing something meaningful to relieve the anxiety?

 

Every little thing seems too hard, too much for me to handle.

 

I'm overwhelmed.

 

I have so many excuses to NOT participate in everyday life.

 

Yes I have diagnoses but I also receive ongoing treatment for them.

 

I should be doing better.

350 REPLIES 350

Re: Struggling

It sounds like you are having a tough time, I can definitely say that I understand you, I experienced this during my teenage years.

Is good to hear that you have looked for help, sometimes it takes time to see changes happening, just keep trying and don't give your hopes up.

Something that helped me was to read and practice self-compassion, I joined some groups and followed some Instagram websites that helped with information and tips of ways that work, but it is very individual work, you choose what's best for you

All I can say is that since I started practicing self- compassion, I understood that my worth is unconditional.

Sending you strength and love.

 

Re: Struggling

Dear @RedHorse ,

 

I'm sorry how challenging things are for you at the moment. It can be so difficult to sit in a world of if's and but's. It can a never ending cycle.

 

Looking back at our perceived 'failures' can bring us into a place of deep depression; while being occupied with the future can cause deep anxiety. What's important is that we are in control of the NOW. 

 

What is it that you can do to help yourself tonight? - within the next few moments. We don't even need to go through what you will do for the rest of the evening. We are only brainstorming things that may be helpful now.

 

I can see @AnnaMae1 has offered some incredible suggestions. Do you think anything mentioned will help?

 

If you want a distraction, you can head over to The Ice-Memery . If you want someone to speak to, you can contact SANE counsellors on 1800 187 263 (10am-10pm M-F).

 

I hear you, and am sitting with you.

tyme

Dimity
Senior Contributor

Re: Struggling

Don't be too hard on yourself @RedHorse . Ruminating and feeling anxious and depressed is really uncomfortable and unpleasant. In my experience the best you can do is try to distract yourself by reading,  watching a movie, or going for a long walk. Meeting it head-on by trying to write down what's at issue might make it worse. Talking to a friend sometimes helps. I'm happy to sit with you for a while.

Dimity

 

Re: Struggling

Thankyou for your understanding, support and suggestions @AnnaMae1 , @tyme  and @Dimity.

 

Expressing myself and being "heard" on the forum seems to have lifted the dark cloud that has surrounded me all day.

 

I will look into self compassion and move onto distraction if I find I need it later on.

 

I'm glad I posted and really appreciate your responses.

 

Take care,
RedHorse 🌹🐴

Re: Struggling

Hugs @RedHorse . You are a valuable contributor to the forums.

 

tyme 💜

Re: Struggling

I struggle too ..I mean up awake at 1.50am watching true crime. I think to myself I really am better than this. Happens way too much but I love night time. Dog is sitting on me and snoring. I love those noises.

Re: Struggling

Agreed perspective, there is really something special about night time! 🙂

Re: Struggling

Hi @RedHorse , I can honestly say I understand the feeling of living with anxiety and knowing I have a lot in my life that works well but my mind blocks all of that out and I feel terrible.

 

Honestly, all I want right now is to just live a 'normal' life and have a good day where I just get through things without stressing or having a constant cloud over my head. Some days it happens and then the next day it will just snap right back and I get so tired of this yo-yo that happens as it drains me soooo much. 

 

I am hear if you need and I love reading everyones thoughts and suggestions of things that work for them. I just do one day at a time as that is all I can manage at the moment. 

 

Sending hugs x

Re: Struggling

Hi, i am totally relating to the way you are feeling at the moment, i have suffered with severe depression and anxiety now for over 20 years and am going through what feels like hell at the moment, i have just been diagnosed with BPD and my moods at the moment are like a yoyo, i feel like nothing is helping and im losing control of everything i know, its affecting my relationship and its so hard to get motivated to even get out of bed sometimes. 

I wish there was an easy way to get through these difficult times but any help would be greatly appreciated also..

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