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Casual Contributor

Seeking Help

Hey, sorry about all this. I just need some coping strategies for stuff. Primarily, I need to speak to a specialist, but I’m really anxious and self-conscious about it, and I keep putting it off. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I could deal with it?


This is my first post, so, hope it isn’t too bad


Re: Seeking Help

Hi @Felicity73 

Welcome to the Sane Forums,  hopefully you will find this a supportive community and be able to share, gain support and feel connected to the community.  Our members should be waking soon to offer their suggestions in how to best deal with the anxiety of finding support.  


Kobe, overnight moderator. 

Re: Seeking Help

Hi @Felicity73 and welcome to the forum. It can be hard to make your first post and it's great you did (and there is nothing bad about it). I hope you'll find it helpful.

Is the specialist someone you haven't met before? It can feel really scary when I meet and talk with someone new (and sometimes even with people who aren't new to me!). I've found it can help to start the conversation by letting the person know how I'm feeling about being there and how much it took for me to get there. From there hopefully they'll help to reassure you and will be kind and gentle.

Another thing that can help me when I'm feeling anxious is to have something in my pocket, bag or hands that gives me comfort, a sense of safety, or keeps me grounded. I have a charm bracelet that I sometimes wear that reminds me of people and places I feel safe with/in. I also have a collection of little toys and characters, kind of like secret allies to encourage me along. Last week I took a fluffy squeezy ball thing into a difficult appointment and found that fidgeting with and squishing it made me feel much calmer.

There are heaps of ideas for coping strategies on the forum and lots of members who use different things to get them through. If you use the search bar, perhaps with the term 'coping strategies' you'll be able to find ideas if you'd like, and hopefully more members will come by and share what gets them through too.

Again, great to see you reaching out 🙂

Re: Seeking Help

Hi @Felicity73 ,


Welcome to forums,

I too found it difficult to do my first post too so well done, 


I'm pretty similar to @CheerBear I took in fluffy toys, fidget spinners, colouring books even board and card Games. 

It is hard to initiate the helping process and keep anxiety and nervousness in check but it is normal to feel this way.


I saw my psych for 3 years and it was almost a year before we really started talking about my main issues and reason for being there. A good mental health professional won't rush you into talking, and they are very aware that it is difficult for most people. 


I am at the other end of the scale now I have been 6 months without my psych it has been difficult, but I am managing to cope and have few bad days now.


Re: Seeking Help

HI @Felicity73 and welcome, i'm pretty new here myself.


I'd suggest making a list of the key points you want to discuss or try to get across.  That way if you get a bit lost when talking you have something to get you back on track.  I'd also try and focus on breathing nice and deep if you start to feel a bit anxious.  Try and stay calm and remember that they are there to help you, not to make things diffucult.  At least that should be the intent.


@BabyDragon@CheerBear and @KobeCat  have some great coping mechanisms you can employ as well.

Re: Seeking Help

Welcome again @Felicity73, you've joined a great community and you did fine with your first post Heart Nothing extra to add here except maybe focusing on controlling your breath if you start to feel anxious, it's often one of the only things we can control and feeling each inhale & exhale sometimes helps us relax. Much better advice from the others above, but hope it helps as well Smiley Happy

Re: Seeking Help

Hi and welcome from me too @Felicity73   I really agree with @CheerBear and @Gazza75 's suggestions.  Welcome to you too @Gazza75  we haven't met.

I always have high anxiety about a new therapist too.  Starting the disclosure process all over again.  Making a list over a couple of weeks beforehand works for me - just jotting in point form topics as I think of them e.g.  particular experiences, especially traumatic ones, things that have triggered flashbacks, mood swings, memory blocks or surges, what's happening on the harder days.  I always say 'the more you tell them, the more specifically they can help you'.  And for me it's often been carrying a particular crystal or stone in my pocket that I can feel when I get stumped or emotional during the session.  It earths me a bit.  Also remembering to focus on breath is really important at times - probably the no. 1 coping strategy.  And telling yourself you are in a safe place.

I also agree with starting off by telling them how you feel about being there.  They will usually ask questions from there to guide you.  

There's also quite a lot of therapists who start the sessions with asking you to do a timeline of your life with them.

If you have a good rapport with the therapist it will get easier to share with them as you build a trusting connection over time.

But also remember - you have the right to shop around if you don't feel a good rapport with them.

And it's ok for you to ask them questions about their education and particular therapy methods they use or areas they are most experienced in.  

That's my 2 bobs' worth.


Re: Seeking Help

Thank you all, ill try that, i should be going to talk to a therapist soon, so ill see how it goes, thank you a lot for the ideas.


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