27-06-2018 06:47 PM - edited 27-06-2018 07:09 PM
27-06-2018 06:47 PM - edited 27-06-2018 07:09 PM
Just checking. THANK YOU ALL for caring enough to comment. Cant reply individually but it means a lot and counteracts the internal dialogue trying to make me believe its over. Thank you.
Helps to know some of you overvome the same, bounce back in time. Good to try help each other ride the waves, or trust when the dunker has us rolling under with the sand in our face 😞
I had a big afternoon out. Went shppping for hair straightener... explored an unfamiliar HUGE shopping complex, got lost of cause, and lost the car too. .. but distracted the thoughts. And now you breautifils ❤ Thankyou ❤ Nothing seems to take away the thoughts, the way they make this brain interpret the world / ppl, (even though almost all my interactions irl are infact unsupportive or even hostile), and the anxiety, the fight, the confusion, the fatigue. Yes i'm tired & could sleep winter away. Would if i was back home on my own. Guess being busy with dad is a good. Maybe i will spend tomorrow arvo in bed. Anyway, thanks again, nice to have somewhere to get this out 🙂
27-06-2018 07:13 PM
27-06-2018 07:13 PM
I looked at the the BOM Radar pics @Shaz51 - the weather looks really bad in the north - now this is depressing because I am planning a trip up that way in a few weeks - several weeks - AND - so much for clear weather here - I went outside to look and it's cloudy to the west and the radar says it's raining over the Bay
The weather - aw - that is the third in the most enduring issues - they don't include that one with death and taxes but it's really there
So it's icy down here in the Garden City - and I am cooking dinner and so I will be back to finish this - forgive me if I lose track of what I am writing
You are so kind looking after your mother - I would have loved to have had something to do with my mother but she was not at all interested in having me around which is her loss - but still - your taking your mother to the hair-dresser and fixing things for her way she wants them sounds wonderful to me -
I think my dinner is cooked - all the best Shaz - you are doing a huge job and a fantastic job - goodonyer
Dec
27-06-2018 07:56 PM
27-06-2018 07:56 PM
Thanks @Determined - I almost missed your post - I have been busy here this afternoon and I am glad I noticed this
I looked up swans and symbolism - I was so pleased to find so many in Celtic Art - it is actually a very important symbol to me because without looking it up I saw the swans as hope that this is curious because I didn't know
I wrote a short story called The Stupid Chicken - it was a satire about the Ugly Duckling's Mother and I certainly was thought of as the Ugly Duckling by my mother - not that she ever expressed herself but she really had no idea what she had in her nest when I was born - how she suffered and made things worse because of it - I feel really sorry for her now - a good place to be at this time in my life - like I am over her
So I guess chosing the comment about swans in my blog is a symbol of my story - that death is not the end of the story of a relationship - my mother has been gone for a few years now and wherever she is I hoping she is happy - and rarely remember her so in life
I didn't mean to write a story here but I have - thanks for your comment - I guess it's worth a story when the symbols of hope prevail - one should tell their stories - esp when hope is involved
Dec
27-06-2018 07:59 PM
27-06-2018 07:59 PM
Hi @Former-Member I'm thinking of you.
I hope your internal dialogue is less troublesome.
I'm not well today, coming down with virus or something - was a struggle to get through work.
Getting wet feet (soggy socks) from puddles & rain didn't help.
I actually have more energy in Winter (usually), when it's not so roasting hot - but last Winter, I kept getting sick (again & again).
So I hope this Winter (illnesses) will not be a repeat of the last Winter - for me or for anyone else.
Adge
27-06-2018 08:34 PM
27-06-2018 08:34 PM
We are always here to help out @Former-Member
Among us all - however many - there is always someone about to help out
I guess our mind set is natural to all of us and hard to change the DVD - with my entertainment unit all I have to actually get up and change is the DVD - every thing else I can do with the remote (except find the remote of course)
Yes - it's definitely a good thing to help your Dad - remember when you came down to where you are now your Mum was still there and she died - this is hard work for anyone and you are doing it
I was so busy looking for something in clipart I nearly lost your post - always thinking of you Lapses
Dec
28-06-2018 09:34 AM - edited 28-06-2018 07:37 PM
28-06-2018 09:34 AM - edited 28-06-2018 07:37 PM
The negative thoughts have been replaced by loud whistles in my ears - connected i believe, but who talks about that. Does anyone suffer this? Well, its more annoying than distressing. Can't tell powers that be as its too easy to label psychosis, chuck a pill, get told to go fend for yaself anyway... And oh yes, if you feel unsafe - go to emergency... " Yep, more help on the forums. Any wonder theres so many alcoholics & drug addicts.
Op, sorry, sounds like a whinge. Just venting.
28-06-2018 09:37 AM
28-06-2018 09:37 AM
28-06-2018 09:46 AM - edited 28-06-2018 12:32 PM
28-06-2018 09:46 AM - edited 28-06-2018 12:32 PM
Thanks @outlanderoutlander, how u going this AM? saw last night you're struggling too. Must be a full moon lol. I can't find the words to help you just yet but others have - thank goodness for our forum family (where else can we say this stuff)
One good thing about surviving slumps is knowing we've been here before, sometimes worse, and come through.
I've been a bit slack with self care (meditation etc) so best work on that. We'll get there. Haven't made my 'magic soup'a while. Started a new iron sup so maybe that will help.
@Adge, youre the only person i know with more energy in winter 👍.
Dads with the nurse and i'm late with brekky so better go.
Thanks for all the support everyone. Bouncing back ❤
28-06-2018 11:25 AM
28-06-2018 11:25 AM
Thinking of you @Former-Member. It's great to hear you are striving to find ways to best support yourself, not an easy thing to do when there's a lot going on. Nice work.
Take care 🙂
28-06-2018 12:56 PM - edited 28-06-2018 10:32 PM
28-06-2018 12:56 PM - edited 28-06-2018 10:32 PM
Thanks @Former-Member, dad's respite nurse is here but i've gone to bed. Just no energy to go out for the six hours... gonna sleep - good idea @Owlunar, Just got woke by nurse with dad in toot, changing him by the sound of it, she's lovely... Hopei'm not getting a cold, bit achy.
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