SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

[Former-Member]

Its hopeless, maybe I am past my use by date 😢

[Former-Member]

Didn't think I'd ever do it but because S3 and I had words on the weekend I rang his workplace to see if he came in. Told them to ring me if he ever seems in trouble (now he lives alone so far away) and we had a laugh how we never stop being mum's. They took my number. I said little but still feel guilty for ringing when he's not taking my calls, but my anxiety, he sounded so anfry on the weekend, just needed to know hes alive (not like me). Also careful Im careful not to become the interferring trouble maker my own ma is / has been.

This is not my life 😢

[Former-Member]

Well, looks like I'm too depressing for you guys too. Best log off, try do something irl 😕🌷🌿

[Kurra]

I kee myself performing for me @Former-Member not for other people. I know that I'm better off working than not.
Perhaps rather than quitting you could ask fo a couple of weeks off and see if that makes a difference.
See how that works for you.
Can you unglue yourself from the couch and try to do something this afternoon?
Thinking of you 💕🎶💕

[Kurra]

Sorry I wasn't here for you @Former-Member but I've had a burst water pipe in the kitchen so I've been mopping up frantically all morning. I've still got heaps to do. 💙

[Shaz51]

hello @Kurra, @Former-Member, @Owlunar, @eth, @CheerBear xxx

[CheerBear]

Hi there @Shaz51 🙂

Hey @Former-Member. I'm coming past to let you to know that I too have read your posts. I think it would be sad t feel like you're too depressing for people here. I don't think anyone is ever 'too depressing', but I can see how it might feel that way when you reach out and it seems as if no-one is there.

I'm having a bit of a shaky afternoon myself and not in the best headspace at the moment, but I'm looking for the good, knowing it has to be here somewhere. That's how I'm keeping going today.

My kids are little and I worry/think of them often. I don't know what it's like to have big adult kids, but I'd imagine it's sometimes kind of like having a piece of your heart out there with them. I can imagine it would be so hard to feel like that and not be able to know how they're getting on. I think I'll always feel like my kids are little, even when they're big.

I hope somewhere this afternoon/evening there's room for you to find something good to hold on to too. Thinking of you lapses 💗

[Former-Member]

Hiya @Kurra, @Shaz51, @CheerBear
Thanks for the replies, even when ya down yourself, up to your eyeballs in kidz and kitchen flooding. Somwvthinga just need our attention first. I get that totally and realise I might have to wait sometimes. Its ok, honest. Its good you're here now. // I did drag myself off the couch, took a shower and went into the shop for our mandatory fire drill. It was the most pathetic fire drill ever. Only 2/3 of us turned up (8), the boss called 'fire!' and we all followed her out to the assembly line - where we signed the attendance book and arranged to meet for drinks. Yep, that was it (eyes rolling), Being new, i could only think it - but wt#! I dragged myself out for this? 😕 1,000 questions pop in my head - where's the alarm? Do we turn it on? Who calls the fire brigade? whose in charge when the boss is away? Shouldnt someone use that "whistle' at the counter? Where's the fire extinguisher? What if there's customers? Does the fire bell work? I didn't hear the fire bell? There was no discussion - we just followed mother duckling out to the Assembly area, which was timed (2min) and signed off. Good grief. Think I should have stayed on the couch. lol // Not really, turns out it was the bosses birthday and the drinks and nibblies were provided so I tagged along to that, out of respect, even though I'm not up to it. It wasnt too bad. The boss works hard at making everyone feel included (thank goodness as not everyone else does), but I did get to see a more relaxed side of my colleagues for the first time, we had a few laughs. // yep, even though blackdog makes me FEEL it was all a meaningless waste of time - there was some good in it:
- i did it✔
- had a shower ✔
- went out ✔
- walked the block ✔
- even mailed a parcel ✔
and yes, it does leave me feeling less alone in the world ✔.
Its probablt anxiety But, I have had palpitations since, and a dull headache, so back on the couch resting since. Maybe Something I ate?, the glass of wine?... Glad the boss had a good birthday though, and she thanked me for fixing the drawers for her as a gift 🙂

It is winter, everyone's a little tired 🌷🌿

[CheerBear]

Arrrgh @Former-Member - that would have annoyed me a lot with the fire drill. It's really good that you were able to push yourself through it and have some laughs though.

Winter really is draining I think 😕 I'm really ready for bed already. I just watched a very cute youtube vid. It's the story of a sleeping bear and it made me want to hibernate in a cosy cave 🙂

Hope your palpitations settle soon. Love all the checks on your list 🙂

[Kurra]

Well done @Former-Member for getting there. Most fire drills are a bit of a giggle but so very important in the case of a real emergency.

After all the fuss and bother here today my back is giving me the heebie jeebies but thst was to be expected. What have you got planned for tomorrow? Hugzzz 🎶💕🎶