Red's house

[tyme]

Hope the change goes well for you @The-red-centaur . I fear some of the stories I hear about providers. I really hope you find a provider that works for you and gives you the care and support you need.

You deserve it.

[The-red-centaur]

@tyme thank you. The ndis has been an amazing help to me. My current provider has been amazing. It's just unfortunate money gets in the way that I'm too expensive for them to keep supporting. 

But in the end our whole world is built over money, and the cuts to ndis means a lot of corners cuts to everyone. I'm not alone in funding being scaled back and support being withdrawn. 

[tyme]

I'm so so so sorry to hear that this provider was actually good, but can't keep supporting you because of $$$. @The-red-centaur . Will we ever have the 'perfect' system?

[The-red-centaur]

I don't think a perfect system exists @tyme but we make do with what is available and try our best.

I'm waiting to hear from a potential provider. It just takes time and I have a little bit of time still so it can hopefully work out. 

I went to a sexual assault lawyer yesterday. Exhausted. 

[The-red-centaur]

My life kinda feels like it's flying away from me. I'm numb and too tired to deal with it however. 

I'm supposed to be working on a few things for when I decide to press charges. 

I'm supposed to working on looking for new accommodation and providers. 

I'm supposed to be working on some of my health and what not. 

I want to curl up and make the world stop. I'm sick of being too tired to function. My support workers don't do shit to help. I can't deal. The neighbours are so noisy and I can't sleep. I need it all to fck off or I'll go and just do stuff to make it all stop, stuff I'm not supposed to. 

[AuntGlow]

Hello @The-red-centaur, 

Thank you so much for sharing what you are going through with us tonight. It sounds like things are feeling really heavy and exhausting, I would be feeling the same in your position. You are truly working so hard to support yourself through some very big challenges, and I can hear that your body is needing a sense of soothing and safety right now - and maybe more support from others? We don't want you to have to manage all of this alone, so what do you think you need most tonight? 

Also, I know you mentioned making things stop, so I am just wanting to check that you are safe with these thoughts you're having too? It's important to know where you're at so we can meet you in that space. 💛

Talk soon, 

AuntGlow. 

[The-red-centaur]

Hey, I've finally been able to sort some things out. I am moving in a few weeks. 

[The-red-centaur]

Im in so much pain. I had a soccer match this morning and now I can't move. Im tired and getting grumpy. 

Im soaking in the bath with lavenders oil and magnesium salts. 

I dont know how im going to be able to pack over the next week. I move in 8 days. 

Pain. Stress. Stupid triggers. Idk, life just feels hard. I got really angry at soccer today, anger rarely happens for me, and I nearly lashed out my team mates. I feel like its been a lot this week, especially after Thursday night. 

Sorry about all this complaining. I just need it out of my head and feel validated and heard. 

Now I gotta figure out how to move so I can get out of my bath without falling, the water is now cold lol. Then maybe collapse on couch and forget about life until tomorrow.

[The-red-centaur]

I injured myself badly at training last night. Ended up in hospital 😞 

Im so stressed. I came home with crutches. I had so much to do this weekend. 😩 

I dont feel so great. My neighbours are being shit heads with loud music, I don't understand how they can do that in the storm we are having. My head hurts. My leg hurts. Im exhausted and so pissed off at myself for yesterday. 

Im scared about moving. Im scared I won't be able to cope with the move. Life is so fucked up. 

[tyme]

Awwww.... you poor thing. I'm sorry to hear about your injury! @The-red-centaur 

I hear your concerns about moving. 

What would be helpful at this time?