Lived Experience Forum

[Upndownnupndown]

@FrankyW84 and also @whatsinaname,

Having some trouble replying atm for some reason; I've lost my words twice so I will write a reply tomorrow. It was good to read both of your replies and I'm going pretty good. Tired but good.

Take care you two and have a great Monday tomorrow. ✌

Sorry to hear about your Friday and Saturday Franky. I look forward to responding tomorrow.

Good luck if you're starting your job tomorrow Kate 👊

[Upndownnupndown]

Hi @FrankyW84 (and also @whatsinaname),

It was nice to read your replies over the course of the weekend.

I had a good weekend although the result of staying up quite late on Friday and Saturday night playing a ps4 game at a friends house left me feeling pretty run down and manic on Monday which also spilled over into this morning a bit, so I went for a gentle 1.5 hour walk to the beach and back which helped me massively to shake my irritated mood. I had two beers on Saturday night which didn't affect me at all in the way of low mood which was nice. Usually it does produce a slight but noticeable change in my frame of mind the following day. (I can feel the difference between the after effects of lack of sleep and when I've consumed alcohol).

Franky, I can relate to your observation around not knowing if your mood following said difficulties on Friday and low mood on Saturday were either the result of your work related disappointment being just a natural response or your bipolar and I would hazard a guess to say that you were right in that it was probably a little bit of both. Also, you stating that what can help you to determine if younger running a little hypermanic being that when it is your usual bedtime if you don't feel tired, that this can be a sign. I've noticed the same and yes it is a good way to take stock of where I am on the scale of normality and hypermania.

Also for me, when I'm hypermanic, sometimes I find it harder to feel full after eating and can eat more than I'd usually eat. This can be a sign for me that I'm irritable which for me can be a symptom of being hypermanic but with mixed mood. Weird probably but I've always enjoyed food unless severely depressed. Then like most people my eating is minimal to bugger all.

Also, thank you for mentioning that you use the app E-moods. It sounds like a great app and I will look into it either tonight or tomorrow morning. I should also keep a diary of my moods to look for both patterns as well as my triggers.

I can also relate with your "going too hard on a new work-related project" and then crashing. I also struggle to exert my energy in a linear way. I'm slowly learning to try for it more consciously but it will probably always be an issue for me and others like us no matter how hard we try for it not to be unfortunately. Hopefully you had a more positive return to the weekly grind today. I often find that when stressful situations occur, that the processing of my emotions around it can leave me feeling pretty drained.

Kate, congratulations on your new employment opportunity... If you've started today then I hope that it went well for you. Also it sounds like you enjoyed a healthy and productive weekend of enjoying some sunshine, mindfulness exercise and reading which are all good for us bipolar people. Yes this is what I was referring to, damn those expectations we continually place on ourselves! Being that Franky runs his own business I'm sure that he can also relate to this as well.

Thank you for your suggestions and information on studying at university. I will look into student services this month as well as start a membership at their swimming pool to help me to try and burn off my anxieties whilst I study during the year. I think that it will help so I'm willing to do whatever it takes to succeed at this.

I hope that your new mood stabilizer is kind to you and that it enables you to feel more consistent in mood. 😉

Speak soon and take care both of you, have a good week✌

[Upndownnupndown]

Hi Franky,

How has your week been? 

[FrankyW84]

Hi @Upndownnupndown ,

Really full on. I will write a proper reply tomorrow. just have had one thing after another(nothing bad just go go go). Speak soon.

Franky

[FrankyW84]

Hi @Upndownnupndown & @whatsinaname 

I hope you both had a great weekend. My week was extremely busy and the weekend has been go go go. Wednesday was a little bit of a downer due to some unexpected weight gain at my weigh in with the trainer, but also not unheard of with our illness. As a result of this I am arising extra early and doing 30-40 minute early morning walks in addition to my evening training and still able to manage this ok with the work schedule.

@Upndownnupndown Last I read you had been feeling a little manic. I hope that has eased. I have been extremely driven and motivated lately. Is it hypomania? Maybe, but I feel  good, in control, do not feel I am over committing myself. Usually if I am hypomanic, I experience quite severe anxiety as well and feel constantly in a rush and my patience is non existent. I do not feel like that now, I think I am just feeling really goal driven which is good.

Good on you about the walk. I try and get a beach walk in once a week. Must be barefoot and walking on the oceans edge to be most effective(my opinion anyway :))

Let me know how you find the e-moods app. Its working great for me and also I can see over the last 2 months how my mood extremes are becoming less and less which is really positive and totally down to the treatment I am receiving.

Kate - How is your new role going? Be very keen to hear how it is and how you are going in general.

Take care.

Franky

[Upndownnupndown]

Sorry for the late reply @FrankyW84,

It was good to hear from you the other day. It can be a bit taxing when we are super busy but it is a good thing because it means that we are challenging ourselves and it also generally means that we are trudging whilst striving for a better life. This is more than I used to believe than I was capable of.

I haven't downloaded the app that you mentioned yet. In all honesty, I don't have an excuse as to why other than I've forgotten to and also I probably fear the consistency that would be required of using such an app 🤣 I will download it though, I'll get it as soon as I've typed this out and let you know how I go with it. I've run better lately than I have in the past, so it isn't exactly like I fear putting in my down days. I have more good days than bad days lately. Hopefully it remains this way ahaha.

It doesn't sound like you are in hypomania at this time, just that you are functioning well which is always a good thing.👍sometimes I can be slightly elevated but still able to sleep like normal, but just have extra mental clarity and more energy to get done a lot of things, sometimes for a week or so, then I have a little but of a slump but still able to manage my day to day things. This is since my change of diet and exercise so these things definitely are a help for people with bipolar in my opinion. The anxiety that you've brought up and the irritability are definitely a symptom of hypomania, well at least for me this can be a tell tale sight of mild, medium or bad hypomania depending on the severity of the symptoms.

I agree, feet on the sand walks are great!

In regards to me and how I've been over the past week and a bit; I've had some dramas with my neighbour which have caused some anxiety but it seems to have simmered down which is good. I'm not afraid of him physically at all, he's just not mentally well. It can be hard work dealing with schizophrenic people in my experience which he is. I've also been adjusting to my new chapter without being in contact with my parents for a while. I still love them dearly, just trying to forge a better self image at this time and need some space from them to do so. I will email them in the next couple of weeks which will be nice to write to them and for them to read no doubt. I've had some days where I've lacked energy but that is the worst of it, so I've been fortunate considering the looming stress of study life and the though of work as well to put some extra cash in my bank account. Where there is a will there is a way. Baby steps for me to be honest. I've come too far with stabilising my moods somewhat to go hammer and tong and burn out with another spell of hypomania.

@whatsinanamehi Kate,

the only reason that I didn't acknowledge you in the last message when I asked Franky how he's been, was because it is his thread and I didn't want it to look like I was taking it over at all... How is your new job going? 😎 I look forward to hearing back from both of you when you have the spare time. Have a good rest of the week both of you✌😊

[FrankyW84]

Hi @Upndownnupndown  & @whatsinaname ,

Will reply to you properly on the weekend. A bit sick today(physically for a change).

Please with the thread - I am not precious. I started it to get some hell with understanding this condition, but also to help others get help as well.

I am glad we are helping each other and encourage anyone else to jump in and offer their insights at any time.

Regards,

Franky

[FrankyW84]

Hi @Upndownnupndown and @whatsinaname ,

I hope you are both well. There was a problem with one of my posts violating policy(mentioned a medication name) and the thread was accidentally deleted.

I hope you are both well. I am currently doing a bit of medication changes at the moment. New medication is going well, but was on another for depression and GAD long term which I need to come off now.

I hope things are well with you both? I am ok, I have had a bit of a rough couple of weeks. Not too bad, just my mood has cycled down a bit. Still functioning, doing my day to day things etc but not really enjoying it which sucks. Its no where near as intense as the lows before but still there.

Look forward to hearing the updates from both of you.

Regards,

Franky.

[Upndownnupndown]

@FrankyW84 

Hi Franky (and Kate @whatsinaname),

It was good to hear from you earlier today. I'm glad that you have been able to reachout . You have both been on my mind from time to time lately. Apologies for not being in contact, I've just been busy commencing my studies amongst some other issues.

I'm glad to hear Franky that even though you have had a bit of a turn in your mood cycle, that you have still been able to function and get done what you need to do. Medications can play havoc when coming off of them so hopefully you are able to deal with it without it having too much of an effect on your professional responsibilities (and personal life). I can definitely relate to you things sucking when being in a low cycle. it isnt much fun at all. Hopefully it changes again for you soon, although in a Northerly direction 😄

To elaborate a little further on said recent issues that I've been privy to recently; I live in public housing (in a reputable suburb of which im grateful for) and the neighbour above me is making my residence here pretty untenable. He slams things at quarter to six in the morning to wake people up, physically assaults the internal fixtures of his unit and the rear common area of the unit and regularly throws verbal abuse around like confetti for the purpose of trying to assert his "alpha male" dominance and if the situation calls for it, to incite a fight.

This is a tri-weekly event at least, with rubbish littered around the rear of the units by him as well of which I've cleaned up once already. It feels nice to get the truth out. I've put up with this behaviour for the last 16 months. I had to call the police today because I have no choice but to attempt to build a diary of disturbances using police report numbers in the futile (and further unintentionally proviking) attempt of having him evicted. I say this because he'll still know where I live and where my car is always parked. "It is what it is".

aside from the above-mentioned issue, things have been very good to be honest. I've struggled fairly badly with anxiety around new situations around studying and social interactions of which in person, until I get to know who im talking to, I can be shy.

Studying is proving to be the best decision that I could've made at this point in my life.

Kate, I hope that you are okay as its been a little while since I last heard from you. please feel free to if you are able, to send a quick email if you are up to it and when you can get around to it.

warmest regards to the both of you,

Upndownnupndown (Mark).

[Newby]

Hi @FrankyW84
I’ve loved following along with this thread! I’m a 36yo female, married with a responsible job that requires sensitivity. I’m currently in a private hospital for my mental health after being diagnosed with depression and anxiety for over 10 years. I then got post natal depression 4 years ago which was the absolute pits!! My psychiatrist believes I may have bipolar 2. I have suspected I have bipolar for some time but every time I see my psychiatrist I am very low in mood bawling my eyes out or quite stable and brush everything off. I’m bloody exhausted.
Probably not making much sense but just wanted to say I’m so relieved to hear yours and the other lovely people’s stories. There’s such a stigma around mental illness and you guys are smashing it!