Putting yourself out there

[MJG017]

@Spirit_Healer 

There is a guy in one of the groups I go to who likes to do ballroom dancing.  He has mentioned his dancing partner a few times and how they are just dancing partners and nothing else.  So i understand that dancing with someone can be nothing else other than dancing together, but going there when it was a planned date with you seems insensitive.  Add that with this sudden loss of contact and it seems very concerning that something has changed with this guy.  If he has in fact turned off notifications and changed his name, then it all seems a bit strange.  There could be any number of explanations, but the cutting off of communication seems very concerning. 

As @tyme suggested, maybe he just needs a bit of time to himself to think about things.  But I still think telling you that would be only fair, especially consider he knows you have your own struggles and knowing that just going silent would make anyone worried and anxious.  I'm really sorry you've having to go through this.

[Spirit_Healer]

@tyme this is the first time I've relapsed while dating him. I was very guarded with my mental health issues and then it all came unravelling 4 weeks ago.

@MJG017 I agree with all that you have said.

Most of my friends thought he was good for me, based on what I told them, up until about a week ago.

My closest people have started to tell me that he's not good for me. As my grand-aunt put it "Why can't you just find someone normal?"

I hate that word 'normal', nothing and no one is truly 'normal'. It's all relative, on a spectrum.

I think what she was trying to allude to, is that he is not good for me because we are both anxious and feed off each others' anxiety.

My gut is that this relationship, or rather, his attitude towards it, is not salvageable. It could work with some intense couples' counselling. However, I am here to focus on my recovery, and I will continue to try to think of him as little as possible because doing so only leads to unhealthy rumination.

[PeppyPatti]

Dearest @Spirit_Healer 

I'm sending you lots of care and gentle love to you.

Say anything that you need. We are right here for you 

Xx