Lived Experience Forum

[Birdgirl1802]

Hi All,

I am new to this but would like to share some of my experiences with psychosis.

One of my adult children is suffering with psychosis. At first I think it started from drug related sleep deprivation about ten years ago and would happen after he had been awake for a long time. 

He would have a panic attack which then got worse. He would then be in his own world, like a character in a movie. It has gotten progressively worse over the years and is now not from drugs and can happen anytime. It is now affecting his whole life. 

At the start of the episodes he can tell it's going to happen and be his normal self. Then things start to change. 

He is never trying to harm me or himself, but in his episodes he has believed he is law enforcement and has tried to arrest me or detain me under such and such drug act of whatever year. A lot of times there is a common theme to the psychosis.

Sometimes law enforcement, sometimes confessing certain things and wanting to repent, apologise or be punished somehow. Never violent or self harmful, but always with an inner voice controlling the narrative and or script of his character at the time. 

After a while it will pass and he will be normal and know that it has happened. Sometimes it ends in a stay in the public mental health ward or sometimes I can ride out the episode and then discuss it with him. 

His episodes often involve a voice in his head that he believes is telling him what to do and say. The psychosis voice often threatens him not to talk about it to health professionals and tells him that there will be negative consequences. 

In the episodes I find it easier to go along with his "script". One time I had to pretend the ambulance I called for him was a police vehicle so he could put me under arrest and then we could convince him to go to hospital.

Sometimes he admits himself as well. It's now affecting his life in all ways.  Becoming more reclusive, having time off work because of episodes and struggles with relationships with family, friends and colleagues. He is still able to live independently for now. 

It is very hard to watch this happen to my child who is intelligent, insightful and hard working. 

I believe he needs to apply for disability as its now affecting his livelihood which then affects his choices financially, such as don't buy meds, go without food, or lose his independence. 

Apply for disability is very hard and psychosis and schizophrenia are things that the public mental health ward professionals skip around and are unwilling or unable to diagnose definitively in regards to disability support requirements. 

I am unsure why I want to share my thoughts... Maybe to help me, help someone else. Or maybe just to explain it to me?

If anyone would like to comment or share that would be great. 

To be continued... 

[NatureLover]

Hi and welcome, @Birdgirl1802 , it's good to have you here. I'm sorry to hear what you and your son are suffering 😞

Can you maybe post your above post on SANE's other linked forum, the Friends, Family and Carers Forum ? You can also access it by going to "Forums Home" on this page, top left. You can also leave your post here, on the Lived Experience forum, too 🙂

An important forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply.
 
I hope you find the forums supportive...

[Appleblossom]

Hello @Birdgirl1802 

I am wondering if documenting the succession of mental health admissions will speak for themselves.  Does he have any mental health professionals that he trusts or at the least can work with.

I have had similar experiences thought the content of delusions has been different.  Willing to talk or share if you like.  As @NatureLover the Carers side of the forum is probably better for these discussions.  It can be extremely difficult to watch a loved child go through these episodes and has definitely been an intense lived experience for me.

Take care of you and him as well as you can.

[ClockFace]

@Birdgirl1802 

I suffer from psychosis too though my experience is very different. I am typically aware of the 'events' not being real. But I have to continually reassure myself that it isnt real. Some of how I act, particularly in the last one, to family makes me feel quite ashamed

So I can relate somewhat to him, once he makes it through he must feel so much shame and there might even be an element of trauma.

Im also carer for my sister at the moment for a different reason and I can relate to how you must feel. Its terribly difficult calling an ambulance on a loved one that doesnt want it. Its terribly difficult watching them go through these things,  to suffer the way they do.

I struggle financially due to all my mental and physical issues and live with my family as a result, though part of that is to help look after me. Ive been declined NDIS but will be reapplying soon. I work for a great company who have been very supportive. Im on unpaid leave at the moment due to my mental state and to look after my sister.

I post in both this and the carers area depending on what I am writing about. You will find much more support in the carers area given your circumstances as they can better relate but Im glad you posted here so I got a chance to reply.

There are people out there that can relate to your son and to you. While all our stories are different there is enough commonality to provide support. I really hope you and your son can find someone to put their words to paper and support your son getting the financial assistance he needs.

[Birdgirl1802]

Hello @ClockFace,

Thank you so much for your reply. I'm new to the discussions and hopefully you will get my reply.  Don't ever feel ashamed of yourself. You are living and getting on with your life despite the hardships you have endured and you still have time to reply to me 😊 Good luck and I hope that you will get the assistance you need and are entitled to. You're a gem 💎

[Birdgirl1802]

Thank you @ClockFace 🌻

[Birdgirl1802]

Hello @Appleblossom,

Thank you for your words. I'm sure there would have to be documentation, records at the hospital and yes he does have doctors, but I am unsure if he is following through. He has been on meds and now a monthly injection. There would have to be some kind of diagnosis from whichever professional is prescribing them. I'm unsure. He keeps a lot to himself. He is in his 30's and in- dependant. He has always had a job since a teen and is very educated. I thinks he is embarrassed and doesn't want to follow through with applying for disability. He has no problems getting a job but the illness is making him miss work and they fire him. It's a lot for people to take on in the workplace. 🌷

Thank you for sharing with me.  You are a champion 🌸

[ClockFace]

@Birdgirl1802 

I got your reply. Im not a regular with full psychosis. I have a lot of psychotic symptoms. Regular Hallucinations (Audible, visual and tactile). I have other stuff occassionally but psychotic episodes are rarer for me. But if I can help you with your son at all Im happy to. Psychotic symptoms are hard on both the sufferer and people around when its happening.

While Im not caring for someone suffering from this, I care for someone who has attempted suicide twice and selfharms so I get the hard stuff, again happy to try and help.

Its hard doing this alone, try and get support for yourself. Im trying  to do that for myself. My parents are pretty detatched on the MH side and not real supportive of me and my MH but get support, its so vital

[Birdgirl1802]

Hi @NatureLover,

Thank you very much for your help. I think I am replying correctly. What a great way to find out that I am not alone in this type of situation. 

[Appleblossom]

@Birdgirl1802 

The clinic which delivered the depot were the one's who organised my son's DSP application. They seemed to like some contact with me, though I have been very back seat. My son was also reluctant, but eventually went through with it.