Lived Experience Forum

[teardust22]

I'm 17 and I have the exact thing for two and a half years Wherever I go, whoever I look, whatever time my eyes will look at their privates. Its like my eyes are programmed to do that. They appear from nowhere and my eyes are there than I look down because I'm afraid they saw. Its because im unconsciously anxious. The brain knows what you fear. No matter the age, sex, race of the person it happens  I have no friends anymore. Last January I had a friend but she stopped talking to me. I am always afraid people and people in cars are watching me.

[Shaz51]

Hello @Tyler01, @ocdstaring, @Marlin81, @EdNotMyRealName, @Watercolor

Remember to put a @ in front so they can receive the email message from you

Hope you are ok today

[Tyler01]

Hi teardust22

I think everything is controlled by fear.
Some concentration exercise may help (one mentioned earlier in a previous post )

Pleas don't be too hard on yourself. You are still very young and should find a therapist that you feel comfortable with to work through the latest available treatments that help many people. (Eg CBT,new meds etc)
This form of OCD is not only very intense but is also very difficult to talk about due to aspects of subject matter involved.

Please understand you have a great opportunity to address this condition and lessen it's affecting your future, as you are young person (and sensitive) with a lot to offer the world.

Good luck mate and take care

[SL1515]

I am 31 and in January 2017 I began to notice that I was having anxiety-like feelings around a few people - certain men I worked with.  It was werid, I had this anxiety-like feeling to ensure that I was not looking at their crotches and I felt as though they thought I was looking at their crotches.  This issues was pretty contained at first and didn't affect my relationships with friends and family.  But as the months have rolled on it has spread, and now I have much higher anxiety around both men (crotches) and women (cleavage) and it is with bascially everyone (except my wife for the most part).  

When the issue began to get heavier I decided I need to tell my wife, who was very supportive, and we decided to find a psychologist.  The first doctor I found was useless to me.  She treated broad anxiety and didn't seem to have a handle on my specific OCD issues.  The next doctor I went to specialized in OCD patients.  He and I have been working together for 3 months now, but I am not feeling like I am making any progress.  I have been doing a lot of reading on this and he is recommending what are seemingly all the right things to face my fears and create a desensitization, but again, I feel as though my anxiety is only getting worse.  Also, my job has me working with a multitude of high-level executives from fortune 500 companies, I feel as though practicing staring on them would end in me losing clients and my job.  

I could use some feedback from anyone really:

- When is the right time to surpass pschology work and see a psychiatrist for a medicine prescription?

- I fear that using meds will have such side-effects that they could ruin other parts of my life (sexual drive, energy, turn me into a zombie).  Can anyone describe their experiences?

- Has anyone gotton to a point where they can really get through daily life (jobs, social events, family gatherings) as though they don't have OCD or anxiety?

[marchhare]

Hi SL1515, welcome to the SANE forums. I am sure you will get some good support and advice from the members here. OCD can be such a debilitating condition.

[johnnn]

Hi SL,

I too suffer from this - have been using medication for nearly 10 years now.

The doctor diagnosed it as Fear Psychosis. Medication for OCD are SSRI-type medicines. You can google for extra knowledge. Would advice you to visit a psyciatrist and get necessary medication.

On desensitization - I too read a lot - but unlike say 'Repeated-Washing--hand' type ocd which just affects you - and where there is no counter signal coming to you --- the problem with 'Staring' OCD is the signal from other humans that you get - people avoiding you, talking of your behaviour, etc - which further increases your sensitivity - and contradicts your exercise aim of desensitivity. 

What medication has helped is to - ignore / over-ride this guilt emotion / overcome the stares from people - overcome the thought that people think you are wierd - and still function normally - which ironically in turn makes the people around too to get back to normal - and in turn reinforces your motivation.

After taking medication, I no longer avoid social outings. I just take an extra dose sometimes.

It is not addictive, nor have i seen side-effects till now for nearly a decade that I have been taking. Once the doctor felt, I may have gained some weight - I think one side effect is constipation - then he changed the medication.

Hope the above helps.

[Tyler01]

Everyone is different, as mentioned my medications tend to stop me dwelling on how badly I feelI may have been perceived in a social situation.
The more formal the environment the worse the OCD seems to be.
Mendicatios can help Some people but not others and side effects tend to be minor (in my case).
But give it a go as I know others who have received a lot of benefit from ssri or snri medications.
Also undiagnosed coexisting conditions are often apparent as in my own particular situation.
Good luck

[teardust22]

I can't get medication until I'm 18. And I also don't think I have enough money. I live in another country away from the country I would die to go back. I can't stand another year if I don't get accepted to transfer to college there. I have no friends at all and my family doesn't support me. They can't know this. For two years I'm an animal in a cage secluded from society. It's very hard for me to go out in public, I think everyone and cars are looking at me, and I can't stop what I do. I sometimes starve in dorm. How did you learn to cope with it all these years?

[Tyler01]

Hi @teardust22
Please try and find a doctor that you feel comfortable with to talk to.
CBT therapies can help. You are very young still and it is important to get help as soon as you can.
There may be support groups in your city where you can meet like minded people and chat through issues or perhaps learn of successful approaches in tackling the condition.
I have made great friends myself with the volunteer work I do in the Mental health area . It helps to know you are not alone and there are other people in a similar situation.
Don't give up mate. There is help out there .
Good luck and try not be hard on yourself , I understand that this is difficult sometimes but please Knoe that you are not alone and yuh have alot to offer the world. Take care

[teardust22]

Thank you 

When I can I will. I dont think support groups suffer from this ocd but I have a fb suppoort group. I will try tho its very hard with this ocd ;o You too. Don't give up. I hope it gets all better 🙂