Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Jasminej]

Thanks @Former-Member. Currently I'm finding it hard to handle the family mental illness situation. Have been up since three am.. Sometimes my brain keeps thinking about ways to help the situation and then I can't sleep. Wondering if I can manage a day at work. Anyways I'll take a look at link when I'm energised again. 🙂 hope you have a good day 💜

[Former-Member]

@Jasminej

am so sorry I responded with a lengthy reply and lost it somewhere in cyberspace 

dratted computers

I hope that you are receiving some counselling for yourself

please look after you too

keep on writing here when you have the time and energy

[Jasminej]

@Former-Member Haha that's funny... In a very annoying way for you 😛 Thank you for being kind enough to write both nessages(the lost one and this one). I did manage to get into work late and do what I needed yesterday. Yay! I'm awake this morning again thinking about stuff I can do to help loved ones. Re counselling, I enrolled to see psychologist a few months ago, she's very busy and so I get an appointment once a month which is probably too infrequent for me. Plus I've missed a couple by not organising transport and getting the date wrong. Also last time I was there, listening to me made her cry. In a way it's good cos then I start consoling her by thinking about my problems in a positive way 🙂 but I also think that doing stuff to combat my situation is maybe a better use of time.. Probably need to do both. This morning I've decided to focus on my mum. She is depressed and I'm also worried about her getting dementia from social isolation and the horrid family situation she is in. I'm thinking I have to spend more time with her and get her out, doing things and using her brain. I don't particularly want to do that, I'd rather focus on me and just enjoy stuff. I find it difficult to hang out with her because she doesn't think the same. Doesn't listen to advice etc. Recently I've thought of joining a church group.. I'm aethest but I need genuine company. I've been to them before and I've just found bitchy selfish people. I'm going to try find some charitable ones. Maybe take my mum with me. Recently my brother had gone off his schizophrenia meds. So, I took a day off to go talk to his gp and mental health team. Since then my mum says bro says he's taking meds. She might be lying. She does that, no matter how many times I tell her not to because she doesn't want me to worry. I'm like I'm the one who has to try talk to him/take him to hospitals only to get rejected when he has psychotic episodes so I'd rather know when it's coming on and prevent before it's full blown! Wtf seriously! It is what it is, so I'll deal with it. I haven't seen bro in like 20 days, but as soon as I see him I will know if he's on meds. I just heard the bathroom tap so I think he's just getting to bed now.. It's 5am. Doesn't look good on the med front. He's either on a too low dose, or not on it. Sigh. Putting it out of my head for the moment, and concentrate on getting in to work. Good morning to everyone!!! Sending Lots of loooove 🙂

[Former-Member]

Hello @Jasminej

Well I am pleased to hear that I made you laugh.....technology and I not good together

Yes you are correct in saying that once a month with psychology visits is not enough....

she cried.....then you consoled her......did she recommend anything to you?

I think that another visit to your gp to see if he or she can find you someone whom you can see more frequently given your situation.

Have you heard of Carers Mental Health Australia? They would classify you as a carer...of everyone in that house by the sounds of it.....there is so much information on the front section of sane australia website...just follow the titles....there is also interesting information about schizophrenia.

You might also find some help in telephoning sane 1800187263 (top right hand of page) give them a brief overview of how you are caring for mum, dad, brother etc....what can they advise.

not sure if you have had a chance to look around at other threads on carer side...there are many with schizophrenia...mainly males.

@patientpatient @jo are two people who come to mind....others you have met on this thread.

looking at your life  from another angle, perspective is very helpful.....however I dont mean to upset you...your life is just too much from every angle

where are you as "you" in this??  How is your health?

Spending time with mum is lovely. It does not have to take up too much time either. Does she enjoy afternoon or morning tea....a nice cosy little place somewhere on the bus route if you do not drive.

Does your brother have a gp, psychiatrist, mental health  worker or mental health team with whom he would have his own care plan?

For yourself......not sure of your age group.....lions club.....young rotarians club....these types of voluntary organisations do alot of work for the community. A distraction perhaps.

I am also  thinking that you would not have much free time either. Do you have any aunts, uncles, cousins with whom you are close?

There are also support groups for young carers.

@Appleblossom hello there...just wondering if you have anything to suggest here

@patientpatient any more ideas...you certainly would be able to relate

make some calls, do some research.......get out of the house and go for a walk where you love the scenery

keep in touch ...let me know what is happening....take care

[Former-Member]

hello @Barbara @Jasminej

just wanting to let you know that you are still thought of and cared about...

[Libra]

Barbara,

I feel your pain. My son is 29 and has schizophrenia. I have decided I can't live with him because of the violence, anger and the way  he talks to me. It breaks my heart, not to have him at home. You are very brave, coping with everything, like you are, especially with other children at home to care for. (and having a child doing the HSC, that is stressful on it's own!!)

I have been going to counselling and getting all the support I know how to get, do you get support from anyone? My partner doesn't support me with my sons problems and that hurts too. My sons father died in 2004. 

I know how you are suffering, seeing your son like this, and there is absolutely nothing we can do to change anything. I wish there was a magic pill with could giive them so we could get our sons back, but we have to try to adjust to this now, God knows how, but I wish you all the best. Take care of YOU.

[Former-Member]

Hello @Libra

I feel your suffering as much as is possible through sharing the heartache of not being able to make it better for our sons..

I believe that the fact that you have written on here demonstrates the extent of your love..

please do not measure your situation against another's..

every situation is unique to the persons involved....other aspects in their life..

guilt or if only's are a waste of energy..your energy that you need to conserve for when the time comes that you are able to say what you want to say to your son..

be very gentle and loving with yourself

[classycase]

Hello everyone,

My son also has schizophrenia.  He is delusional and has visual and auditory hallucinations.  He, of course, does not acknowledge that he has a mental illness and is non-medication complaint. We have been going through this for going on 7 years now.

He recently got disability because in the past, he would not sign any forms that "connected him to the man".  He was only willing to sign the papers after I refused to let him live with me for 8 months when we had to move into my husband's parents’ house to help them physically and financially.  My son gained a small amount of self-awareness during that time, but still not enough to acknowledge his illness.

After 8 months he checked himself into a psych hospital and upon his release, we let him live into our RV, here at my husband's parents’ house.  However, after 4 months he began refusing medication and moved out.  Now, he is in a full psychosis and wants to move back in here with us and stay in our RV.

Honestly, I do not want him to move back in here.  It is hard enough for me to take care of my husband's parents (Parkinson's, diabetes, heart problems and both on walkers).  Add my son to it and I think I will go crazy my own self (again).

I told him that if he checks himself into a psych hospital, I'll pick him up when they release him.  Currently, he is refusing to check himself in and thinks I am the worst parent in the world because of it.  I feel terrible, but I cannot allow him to live here until he is leveled out on his medication... he'd scare the daylights out of the 75 year old parents.

I wish there was a text book on how to handle everything and what to do. 

[Libra]

Hi @classycase,

My son 29, suffers too. I think he has finally come to terms that he has schizophrenia, though when he is not medicated he refuses to believe it.

I can relate to your isssue of not wanting to live with him. My son, when he was at his worst, came to our home with a cricket bat and attacked us, he has also stormed in and went through all the rooms looking for a smoke, a "pipe"...I was home alone and he got quite violent, so I called the police. We have an AVO now, but I can still visit him to pick up washing, take him to appointments, shopping etc.

He lives in a share house and hates it, and when he is unwell, he gets angry with me me, telling me that it's about time I be a proper mother and start helping him more, re: housing, finance etc.

It is very hard to hear. He is looking for a unit to rent by himself, but it is so expensive as he doesn't work and has applied for the disability pension. He absolutley refuses to go on the public housing list, as it will ruin his reputation...I saw him today and he is very stressed and started talking about "all the money" that is owed to him, because of what he has gone through.

I know how much guilt you feel. So hard as a mum, and you can't live with your own child. I keep telling myself, even though he is unwell, he is a man of 29 years, and I need to show him how to get by on his own. We won't be here forever...

It must be super stressful for you, having to look after aged parents as well. My parents have passed, but isn't it a strange life...stuck in the middle, having everyone to care for...I often ask myself when something good is going to happen! lol

Take care, thinking of you all xo

[Shaz51]

Hello @Libra, @Barbara, @classycase, @Jasminej, @patientpatient , sending you all tender hugs