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Re: My partner is becoming an alcoholic (if not already)

Thanks @tyme 🙏

Re: My partner is becoming an alcoholic (if not already)

Hey @Sam0 ,

 

He is young for now. His body won't always remain young. By the time his liver is affected, it may be too late.

 

I support you in whatever decision you decide to make. But one thing, you love the partner that is sober - and probably not the partner that is drunk. The more time drunk, the less of the 'partner' you'll see.

 

Hugs, tyme

Re: My partner is becoming an alcoholic (if not already)

Firstly, I am so so sorry to hear this. I’ve just started on these forums because I’ve been looking after my brother with severe chronic alcoholism. If there’s a silver lining in this awful experience - it sounds like you’re getting on top of it at a really important point. My brother drinks vodka excessively each day and has done for too long and it’s an awful place to be. I carry a lot of guilt about not being able to have got him help at an earlier stage. Al-anon suits many people but from my experience - it’s is very focused on becoming free of the alcoholic and sees all support as enabling. My own experience is that I will continue to support my brother and I do not intend on continuing to fight and work with him to get the help he needs. Family Drug Support rungs groups about boundaries and self care but also recognise the role people like us play and want to play in someone’s recovery. Having good support is a vital ingredient for recovery too for the alcoholic. If he can admit he has a problem - that’s a huge step. Getting treatment through the AOD team in your local healthcare network is also really useful. They can link him with everything that is right for him- whether it’s detox; peer groups like smart recovery; rehab options; medication like Antabuse etc. I’ve learnt the hard way that compassion, kindness and understanding go a long way. Yes we’re allowed to be angry and we will have feel volcanic levels of frustration and anger towards them. But it’s not them- it’s their addiction. If we can remind them we love them and they are very unwell and they deserve a good life- that can go a long way. Find the windows of opportunity and pockets of self awareness they’ll have and use them to the greatest extent. I’m battling this still but I have hope things can change ❤️ 

Re: My partner is becoming an alcoholic (if not already)

That was a very heart felt post @ExhaustedCarer . I hear you and the support and insight you can and are offering to others is amazing. I really appreciate your post.

Re: My partner is becoming an alcoholic (if not already)

🙏🙏🙏

Re: My partner is becoming an alcoholic (if not already)

One last thing I’ve learnt. If his goal ends up being abstinence and he recognises he can’t do controlled or moderated drinking, having alcohol in the house at all is a massive trigger. My brother has decided for himself and been advised by professionals that basically being in a house where people drink is just not an option for him. I myself have gone completely sober in support of him, but also just because alcohol itself has become a massive trigger for me & I now have an utter loathing of the alcohol industry and won’t give them my money. It might not be your experience of needs at all, but just wanted to share that that can sometimes be part of the support required. 

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