Lived Experience Forum

[Eden1919]

@Former-Member  I too have only now seen this post. As for the treatment of personality disorders it really isn’t good enough and there is so much stigma within the professional community that is makes getting help unreasonably difficult but I am sure you already know that. As for reactions to diagnosis I had a somewhat mixed reaction and depending on the diagnosis as well. Also I suppose a lot of mine have been diagnosed fairly young so it wasn’t so much of a I told you so but it wasn’t a surprise mostly there were a few that were a surprise but mostly it just made me feel like I had less options for ways to help. 

[Former-Member]

Yeah, @Eden1919, most of mine were received very young as you can see, and I had and still have that same train of thought in regard to them just being more fuel to the fire as to why there is no real help out there. The responses and ways I've been addressed and treated far too many times in the past because of having them is a large reason why I struggle a lot to "access support", especially crisis stuff, but also in general. I mean its not a very appropriate situation when you go to a professional and you have more knowledge than them. Its like trying to have an adult conversation with a kid in preschool. Never mind when they treat you like an alien or a pile of garbage instead of a person with individual needs and rights (although in my case, I don't really have many of those....)

[Eden1919]

@Former-Member  It really is a struggle in my experience there seem to be a lot of professionals who seem to think that having a mental illness automatically makes you also unintelligent I was literally told and my mother has been told by hospital psychiatrists “but she is smart so she can’t possibly have X issue” as if that is something that makes it any easier to deal with. It is also frustrating when you have done a lot of your own research and education (often to try and help make things happen) and they completely dismiss you as if you know nothing about yourself and they are more of an expert on you because they studied your conditions for a semester in uni when you have been living with it for 10-20 years. I really think when you have lived with something your entire life you just get super good at hiding it so then when professionals don’t think you look the way you are supposed they get annoyed and assume you are just there for attention but being able to hide something is not the same as being able to cope or manage an issue but many psychs I have seen seem to think they are one in the same. 

[Former-Member]

Ah yes the intelligence comment. I get that a lot also. And I also "don't look" like I have what I do apparently. Its actually a large part of my personality disorder traits to come off as a lot more stable and able to cope than I am, and my intelligence makes it seem as if I have hundreds of coping skills that are effective. Like, if they bothered to actually read up on my diagnosis, they would get why I am the way I am. But anyways. 

[Eden1919]

@Former-Member  it is very frustrating especially with the "you dont look like" comments I always wonder what exactly does someone with a mental illness/disorder look like. i wasnt ever aware of there being a dress code or prescribed sense of style being part of the diagnostic criteria but as i keep being reminded i am no expert.  I suppose there isnt much we can do on a personal level to change the system in a large way there are some things but I find when you have experienced truama from the system well for me anyway it makes me too afriad to try and change it because i feel safer staying quiet than risking being trapped by it again. 

[Former-Member]

I think with personality disorders it is more common @Eden1919  or at least in my experience it is, same for eating disorders as well. When people find out I have a personality disorder (which is usually without my consent or permission, because its not something I tell people, I already have enough problems with people making judgements about me due to me being autistic and how that effects certain things) they expect me to be some completely wild and almost feral person. Why, I don't know, but that is my experience. 

Its strange because most people do actually notice the things about me that contribute to it, they just don't see it as that, they see it as just things I do to annoy people or make them feel like shit. But that's only in people to people interaction, most of my personality disorder is only visible when I am alone in my usual day to day life. 

With the ED, unfortunately most people base that off your appearance and doctors seem to only care about the medical complications that some people have as a result of the behaviours, as opposed to the real illness. If I told them the impact mine has had on my physical appearance, they would think it is an oxymoron, in fact a lot of people have. Then there's the whole, at least in my experience, when you have an OSFED diagnosis as opposed to a clear cut one (hope that makes sense) when you aren't outright ignored, you are treated like you are some kind of special snowflake. Like why do you have that diagnosis instead of a more "normal" eating disorder. 

At that point, it isn't worth going over why I have that diagnosis or even mentioning I have an eating disorder again. I tried to reach out for help for the first time on my own in January and was told nope you aren't medically unwell enough and you are too mentally ill and complex, your prognosis is too poor to justify funding any treatment services for you. 

Gee thanks, it isn't like it is very difficult to ask for help and admit you need help or that giving up behaviours that serve a purpose that can't otherwise be served due to a list of very real and unfortunate problems I have no say in or control over even though they pertain to me and my health and body is very challenging. Oh wait, it is. 

I made this picture recently and it has become one of my major philosophies in life despite how depressing it is. 

[Tortoiseshell]

Hey @Former-Member, 

I'm truly sorry to hear how difficult your experience has been of trying to get appropriate treatment for your eating disorder. 

I'm just jumping in to acknowledge that the system is very far from perfect, but that all professionals are different, and some people thankfully have positive experiences reaching out for eating disorder treatment. 

This isn't to take away from your experience at all, but to acknowledge the mental health system is really varied and that people's experiences vary, for those who might be reading the forums thinking about reaching out. 

Take care, 

Tortoiseshell 

[Former-Member]

Whatever. 

[Former-Member]

By the way @Tortoiseshell that is why I won't be asking for my own support here for the time being. Generic shit like what you said. Sick of seeing it and being told it. That message doesn't apply to me. It just makes me want to seek support and talk about my own shit even less. So thanks. 

[Tortoiseshell]

Hey @Former-Member,

I'm sorry to hear that. I know this part of our guidelines can be a tough one for different members. If you want to talk further with the forums team about this, please email us at team@saneforums.org 

Take care, 

Tortoiseshell