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florencefifty
Senior Contributor

Looking back on rock bottom.

Hello,

 

I just wanted to say thank you for your support in my last post. I think I scared people more than I intended. I'll be OK. It's just that when I'm depressed, I'm REALLY depressed.

 

I don't know if you ever get that thing when you're really embarrassed about something and you completely shut down. Almost like you're going into a shell and hiding.

 

I get that feeling multiple times a day.

 

I'll moan about that some other night.

 

I've been thinking, though, and I am really surprised by how my life was six weeks ago.

 

I didn't even want to go to work. I would stay in my car for the three hours of time I was supposed to be at work, so my family wouldn't question it. 

 

I was pulled over by the Police at least three times, seeing why I was in my car that late at night. They thought I was there to buy drugs. 

 

I got pulled over twice by the same officer. When you become known to the Police, it's time to re-assess how your life is going LOL. They were great about it, but it's still insane to think about.

 

I'm still shocked by the way I was treated in that job. Pressure or no pressure, it is not OK to yell at someone for being injured, or for literally no reason whatsoever.

 

I'm glad to be where I am now.

 

How do you feel when you look back?

1 REPLY 1

Re: Looking back on rock bottom.

Hey @florencefifty 

 

Glad you're feeling okay and having some reflective time. That must have been so tough, pretending to go to work. I can totally understand doing that though. Sometimes it feels easier to deceive when we feel like it will protect our loved ones and ourselves. When I was young I did these sort of things. Anxiety prevented me from being honest. 

Keep reaching out 💓

hanami 💮

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