Lived Experience Forum

[Shaz51]

@Former-Member  with you all the way my awesome friend

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member 

[Beslyne11]

Thank you for posting this, I really needed to read it. I am entirely new to this forum- this is my first post. For years I’ve been scouring the net trying to access support networks such as this one but never seemed to have much luck then funnily enough, I happen to come across this site when i wasn’t even intending to look for or find one. This is exactly the type of online support network I’ve been looking for to assist me in working through a slight rough patch at this time in my life. I’m an extremely private individual and I carry a backpack full of secrets off my shoulders everywhere I do. And some of the time I forget that’s it’s even there. I’m able to focus on everything that brings happiness & fulfilment to my life. But when the road gets bumpy and I start to wonder if maybe I’m lost, the gets much heavier & harder to carry. I look around for help but there’s no one in site and that is to no fault of there own. I chose to take the remote path. I chose to take the path that in return creates isolation & distance. I chose to carry that back pack on my own knowing full heavy it can get. It’s not the kind of backpack you open up and show the contents inside. Why? Why would I choose to carry around something that is going to hold me back and slow me down. There are endless options I could attempt to get rid of it but even then so-

I guard it with my life and keep it held tightly against because the because particularl bah 

[Peri]

Hello dear @Former-Member 

@I hope all is going ok with your mum and dad and your visit.  I have been thinking about you and hope that you are getting some times of joy. 

I also hope that hubby is ok with his friend looking out for him and not being a pain to you while you visit you ur parents.  Is it very cold where you are?  

Peri

[Former-Member]

Thanks so much for your support and well wishes @CheerBear @outlander @BlueBay @Shaz51 @Zoe7

I arrived on time at my destination on Tuesday. But very tired after only a couple of hours dozing on the train.

My mum seemed to me, very unwell. She had been scheduled to see her GP the day after my arrival. Which I had been happy about, coz I would accompany her and get and give the full story about everything going on with her. Tuesday night my sister rang me to let me know that she had decided mum didnt need to see her GP and had therefore cancelled the apt. What the??

First thing on Wednesday I rang the Drs and was lucky enough to get a replacement apt that morning. Phew. So Mum was unable to walk 5 meters without gasping for air and doubled over in pain. Finally got her to the dr after a receptionist saw us struggling and brought a wheelchair.

The GP did a really thorough check and we were there about 45mins. During that time he determined that she was oxygen deficient, dangerously low BP, tachycardic, fluid retension, mentally confused. I suggested she needed to be in hospital. He agreed, and said she needed oxygen, and the only way she was going to get it was in hospital. Between the pair of us, we managed to convince her go. Im glad Id done some groundwork on the way to her apt, as I had gently told her that she really should be in hospital, and to expect her doc to push for it. Anyway I took her to the hospital, and she was admitted.

So shes been on oxygen, iv drips, lots of blood tests, etc. They think she has metabolic acidosis. Possibly due to heart or kidney failure, medications shes on, from the kidney infection, or maybe a combination of all that and probably more. At this stage they are treating the acidosis, which can be serious. But they still need to determine the cause. She will likely remain in hospital at least until Monday, provided she responds well to the treatment. Otherwise the hosoital people are trying to find a respite care bed in the transition period.

Some good news though! Home care provider meeting went well and contracts are signed and operating from tomorrow. Meals will start from tomorrow for dad, and mum whenever she gets home. A personal care person will be made available as soon as mum gets home, daily most likely. And for dad once per week to help with showering etc. And weekly cleaning too, for bed changes, basic cleaning and washing, etc. So that is a big relief. I just hope the meals they deliver are okay, in their eyes at least. Because Im sure they will be, but perhaps not in their opinion. So I guess if I achieve nothing else, at least this is done.

I have been cleaning, shopping, clearing, painting mums room, decluttering, etc the last two days. Along with my brother. This was made much easier as it turns out with mum being in hospital. Meant we could clear everything out of her room, replace her badly soiled bed, and clean and paint mouldy ceilings and walls. A big job. Oh and also cull or wash a virtual mountain of clothes. Not helped by cold frosty mornings and the shortest day of the year tomorrow.

Im exhausted! But should be easier from tomorrow. And mum was looking a little brighter tonight, so thats good.

Sherry 💕

[Former-Member]

Hello dear @Peri  and thank you so much for your post.

I just posted an update on how things are going ... see above post for info. I tend to get a bit lost here when using my mobile phone. Hence the seperate post to you.

Hubby is coping at home so far, and his mate calls in twice a day to ensure all okay. Meals he has been using some leftovers I packaged up for him, but will be eating at his friends place for a couple of days from now until Monday. I phone him a couple of times a day to make sure hes okay and to remind him about meds etc. He forgot a few times.

Yes it is very cold here, minus 4 this morning, and maybe colder tomorrow. Im not used to this.

Other than being really tired, Im also heartbroken  to see my mum in the dreadful state she is currently in. Getting old and being so sick is the pits. She is so frail, helpless and confused.

How are you going anyway @Peri ? Is the arm coming along okay? How is your son and granddaughter? How about your lovely doggy companions? I really miss my Holly. Hubby said she is fine though, and she reminds him when its her dinner time. 🐶

Sherry 💜

[Former-Member]

Hello @Beslyne11  😀

Firstly I'd like to extend a very warm welcome to the Sane forums. I feel sure you will find them to be a wonderfully supportive and caring place, just as I have. I'm really glad you found us, even if it was quite by accident.

You are very welcome to continue posting on this thread if you wish to, or any other existing thread for that matter.

However your story, when you are ready to tell it, could be lost here. I would recommend therefore that you start your own thread. That way you will receive specific support for your own individual circumstances. And as you are a new member, it will also serve to introduce you to other members here.

My apologies, there is a lot more I could, and indeed would like to say, but I am away from home with limited internet access and working from small mobile phone. If you have any questions at all, please dont hesitate to ask. If I dont get back to you, some of our lovely guides may be able to help out @Shaz51 @outlander @CheerBear 

I hope to see you around the various sections of the forums @Beslyne11 and will definitely keep a lookout for you. When you do start your own thread, I would like to read your story, and try to support you if I can. So please tag me so it alerts me via email. Just use the @ sign and type in the members name or select it from the drop down box which appears.

Good night and I hope to hear back from you.

Sherry 🌸

[CheerBear]

Hey @Former-Member and everyone

Wow Sherry. What you've been up to for the last couple of days sounds huge. Your mum is so lucky to have you and so lucky that you were there when she clearly needed hospital but otherwise probably wouldn't have gone.

What you've achieved is massive and I hope there's some space for recognising that yourself. All of the things you've organised will really help your parents.

Also hope there's some time to rest or some down time for yourself along the way. You do so much to care for everyone.

Great to hear from you. Thinking of you ❤

[CheerBear]

Hi @Beslyne11 and welcome to the forum and thanks for the tag here @Former-Member. It's so great to see you have reached out here, especially when it can feel quite scary to open up as I imagine it maybe does for you at times (I could be wrong though).

As sherry mentioned, you are very welcome to continue posting here though posts can get a bit lost in busy-ish threads. Sometimes I like my posts to get a bit lost though so that works well for me. You could also start a new discussion where others might come by to offer support. If you're not feeling comfortable with that there's also an introduction thread here and some great social threads like the coffee catch up thread here . They can be great ways to meet others and settle in to the forum.

It's great to have you here and I hope you find it helpful 🙂

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member, just popping over to say hi. Sounds like you arrived in the nick of one for your mum, and doing such a wonderful cleanup. I went through much the same with my late mum, it's hard watching them determiorate so, and I'm glad the GP was helpful. How long can you stay? 💕
WELL DONE! 🏆
Don't forget self care 🌷