@Shaz51@Shaz51
To answer the question by Shaz51
on
How do you get on with working?
And some associated Ideas
by
@HenryX
Edit: Earlier in this thread begun by @Shaz51, and on the Forum Topic Tuesday, I had indicated that I believed that my father had suffered bipolar disorder, and consequently, I had questioned the issue of heritability. I added these first few lines to explain why I am discussing work and other Mental Health and life issues in a thread on bipolar.
I have had many different jobs in my life. I remember commenting on this to a counsellor, when I was in my early 30's, following the break-down of my 1st marriage. She responded saying, "But you've always had a job, haven't you?"
I always seemed to be looking for something different or better. I enjoyed brickies labouring, particularly the physical health aspect, with the idea of beginning a building type of business. Then I took a job in government public service for security and stability for the family. Paradoxically, it was the family that left me. I have had a large number of other positions throughout my life. Interestingly, the work I enjoyed most was in my role, helping other people seeking and accessing employment opportunities.
However, the main negative issues that seemed to affect me in my employment were depression, anxiety, and personality difficulties between other staff and me. I have also been diagnosed with ADHD as an older person. I can identify with the comment made where someone referred to difficulty keeping up with the workload and feeling the necessity to work extra unpaid hours to fulfil obligations, perceived or otherwise,
As I have intimated elsewhere, my childhood was not, I believe, a good training ground for future life. A great deal of intimidation, threats of, but little actual violence in the home. In retrospect, I do not think my father would have trusted himself to know when to stop. At one stage he did threaten my life. At the time it would have been reasonable to expect that he had access to a weapon. Though he was canny enough not to be found with it in his possession should the Police have been called, as they eventually were.
There were weeks at a time of being ignored by my father, as If I did not exist. He would walk right through the place where I was standing, not expecting me to get out of his way, but simply walking into me and shoving me if I remained in that place. Also in retrospect, it was power games in a very unequal 'fight'. I was (still am) strong in the belief of respect, but did not have, at the time, the understanding of his disrespect for me and the principles that, by that time, I had established. He considered me to be weak. This was during my mid-teens. He would not talk to me, or even make reference to me for two and three weeks at a time. Unfortunately, my mother had to put up with this behaviour toward me and was at times subjected to similar, though not quite as extreme behaviour herself.
I did get the violence at school from teachers whose expectations I had not met. Also, I was not well accepted among my peer group. Consequently, I spent a lot of time on my own, riding by bicycle to hills, rivers and other places that I found interesting near where I lived
When, later at work, people used to speak of assertiveness (appropriate assertiveness), I would think, "where do you get that from?"
I have, in other notes, described my difficulty (in the past) in distinguishing the difference between thoughts and feelings. Feelings for me as a child were not recognised. I believed that one always responded with a stiff upper lip. The indoctrination was really very strong.
I know that each time something unpleasant or seemingly catastrophic (eg. marriage break-up) has happened in my life, that I would look for some way of using the event for beneficial purposes. An example from that time was that I joined a community information group and participated in one of the very early mediation training programs. Following the training, I was a volunteer member of the community mediation group. I enjoyed participating in community service activities. It also gave me an opportunity to try to consider and understand the interests and motivations of people within family, neighbourhood, and community environments.
I have looked at many aspects and resources to find answers to the questions that have arisen through events in my life. It is interesting that through the collection of anecdotal information that has been provided by people on this website that I have more clearly seen patterns with which I can identify many of the life issues and circumstances that I have faced.
At the same time, I am aware that the thoughts, ideas and recollections of events that I can offer may likewise give other people information that will hopefully be useful for them in seeking answers and developing ideas about their life situations.
This note, I hope, will add to that collection of anecdotal information that may help us each, in our own particular ways, and more generally, in a collective way, to understand people's lives and try to draw meaning from our lives and to otherwise enable us to contribute in whatever ways that we can.
Towards that Process & Progress
With Best Wishes
HenryX
