Lived Experience Forum

[Rhye]

Hey there @TheVorticon,

I hear your hesitation, and respect it, so please feel free to dip your toe in whenever (or if ever) the mood strikes. I hope you find the conversation and space both valuable and safe.

How amazing is it to find a therapist who supports all of you. It's super important to feel you can trust your therapist enough to bring your whole self to the room. It sounds like you've found a gem in your therapist, which is a real win!

You've raised a really important point here, which I want to thank you for, and I admire your strength and honesty in bringing it to the discussion – there are a lot of gender tropes around communication, particularly when it comes to mental health. I'm not sure what it's like in other countries, but I have certainly noticed in Australia that "blokes" are supposed to be "strong" and just get on with things whereas women are given more of that freedom to express their emotions, in most settings anyway. I had never considered how this dominant discourse might play out for a transmasculine person, and I think it's really valuable to have these discussions in this space so that all experiences are heard.

May I ask, what would you find helpful or beneficial in a discussion such as this? No pressure to answer, only if you have the time/space and feeling of safety within yourself to.

[Rhye]

Relationships; there’s no one way to have them!

There’s relationships of the intimate kind, those you have with your colleagues, friends, family, and everything in-between. When you feel cared for, acknowledged, understood, supported and encouraged to be yourself by another human it can provide a safe place to land.

Exploring relationships as a trans person may look a little different to cis representations of relationships norms. Navigating your gender affirmation in the workplace, with your partner, your friends, or family, can be a difficult process.

In this video we hear from Charly, a trans guy who shares his journey with relationships: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vz4LQZ1vkM4

So with that, what do you feel constitutes a healthy relationship as a trans person? Have you had relationship experiences you’d like to share – be they positive or negative, we’re here for all parts of your story.

[petrichor]

Hi @Rhye 

i would find it lovely to have an LGBT themed Tuesday evening discussion, event, I don't know what it's called. It's nice to see the exchange there. I find for myself find that my gender / sexuality journey has an impact on my mental illness, sometimes stronger than others. But it's not a part of being mentally ill. It's just another life circumstances and meeting people who deal with both makes me feel more included in this community. I haven't come out and I don't know if I ever will. It was hard enough coming out with mental illness, losing work, friends and having my self worth destroyed. I don't know if I can deal with coming out trans as my mental health is fragile. Coming out here in the anonymity of the forum can help me feel more included. 

i find it hard. Its taken me years to accept that there are other possibilities to be stuck in my body. This year I came out  to my treatment team, I'm there a great support - mainly they accept me as I am, they don't judge me. They are asking questions, listening and learning with me & trying to adjust my care. After not being able to mutter words to them, I feel fine talking to them about it now. I'm on hormones and it's good to be able to ask 'hi is this supposed to happen'.

 So whether it's treating teams or allies. Accept, listen, learn, don't judge. Don't push. There seems to be the need for a label but if that person doesn't want to commit to a label try to leave the subject be, if they share their label, learn about it & ask questions and understand that the label might change or disappear again. It's a normal part of the process to explore oneself.

An ally is a friend, a friend who shows interests, understands boundaries, is curious and learns... but in the end a friend. No one can learn everything about labels or ensure they don't offend someone. Let go of trying to find out every label, what to call people, it's my choice, I'm me. When I meet you I'm just me, others wouldn't walk up to me and explain that they're cisgender and straight or gay and what pronouns they use. If I offer that information it's because I want to and I want you to know, for me this is private information.  

i need authorities to change so they can create inclusive documentations and safe facilities. 

[petrichor]

Hi @TheVorticon 

thank you so much for sharing your story and I'm glad you have support. Gender identity strips us the the core of human being and questions so much we have been brainwashed with I think the impact on anyones mental health would be jibe, even without pre-existing conditions. I'm yet to meet anyone who said it was a great journey.

ive worked in a very male dominated area for 30 years and my life has continuously shown gender non compliance. 

ive needed a couple of years of continuous therapy, frequent intervention and aftercare support after I attempted suicide a few times.