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Tay
Senior Contributor

Isolation and death

Subject sounds bad - I just wanted to speak to people who have lost loved ones but can't visit grave sites. My first son, James died at birth and I visited his grave every year - now I'm not allowed to. 

3 REPLIES 3

Re: Isolation and death

I really feel your pain. My son passed away 6 years ago and I usually like to go visit his grave at least once a fortnight. Hubby and I will grab a coffee on the way and go chill with him for an hour or so. I get so much comfort when I go visit with him, but, as you say, we are no longer, at the moment, allowed to do this. It is really getting me down, I just cannot understand why we cannot do this, like, we arent going to hurt them and they are not going to hurt us, type of thing. I have resolved to do the right thing, as dictated to us, for so called safety sake, but I get so annoyed when I hear of people (2 I know personally) who flaunt the rules and just go to their childs grave, when it suits them! I just hope and pray this existence as we know these days, ends sooner rather than later. 

Re: Isolation and death

Have you thought about creating an online memorial at find-a-grave?  I did this for

my UK grandmother and uncle and for other relatives whose grave sites are just

geographically impossible for me to visit.

Re: Isolation and death

Hi @Tay  and @Smb35 

 

That is very sad that you can't visit a grave right now - I guess with the lock-down not everything could be individually assessed and yes - good question - why can't someone visit a grave

 

It's obviously important to you - I haven't been to my son's resting place for a long time - I left the church for my own reasons and therefore don't want to go there and my son's ashes were in a memorial garden which I heard has been moved and it's not the same - how could anyone like that?

 

So I hear you - and I also think @Jo-anneJoy  has a good idea for a memorial at find-a-grave - which might fill the space for this time - I hope you can find some solace though 

 

It's hard - very hard - being a bereaved parent/s - a huge part of our future was taken when our children die - and nothing can fill that spot - I understand and add my thoughts at this time to yours

 

Dec - bereaved mother

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