Lived Experience Forum

[MiaK]

Hello all,
I am new to this forum so I though that the best way to get to know you all is to start with telling you all a little about me and my recent journey.
A bit about me, I just turned 35 and I recently had an episode of psychosis with deep depression and a pretty heavy and painful period where I ended up in hospital.
There have been many factors that I believe have led to my condition. I have been working in a high pressure & very competitive workplace for the past 8 years, i’m getting married in May so have been in the midst of organising my wedding, and my partner and I have been trying to fall pregnant for around two years. I also have a very strong family history of mental illness with my paternal grandmother having schizophrenia and my maternal grandfather committing suicide when my mother was just a teen. I also believe that my hormones and endometriosis have played a large role in my mental breakdown. I have always suffered from waves of high anxiety and mild depression with one instance of paranoia around 15 years ago after smoking pot but my recent episode has been the most terrifying experience.

I also developed Herpes Simplex 2 around 10 years ago and have been battling with the condition ever since. I was taking a preventative dosage of one tablet daily for 6 months which finished in December, just after Christmas. I also had a Pap smear a couple of months before Christmas & my GP thought that I was a little low in oestrogen so she prescribed a synthetic form of oestrogen, also known as Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). After using the HRT for around two weeks I then went straight onto an oestrogen based contraceptive pill for three months, suppressing my period by skipping the white sugar pills. However, before the three months was up I started to get really depressed and started loosing sleep. I had the feeling like I was coming down off drugs but I also felt pregnant but I knew in the back of my mind that I couldn't be.

My conditioned worsened to me getting no sleep at all and I began having paranoid delusional thoughts. Allot of these thoughts were completely irrational and it became increasingly difficult for me to comprehend reality from my delusions. I was terrified as I didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t. The build up of oestrogen gave me a strong feeling of being pregnant but I knew that it was highly unlikely due to the trouble I had experienced with falling pregnant in the past and the contraceptive pill I had been taking. My regular GP was on holidays so I saw a new GP and he started me on an antipsychotic and later introduced an antidepressant.

At the worst of the episode, I ended up in hospital with severe period pain, heart palpitations, memory loss and my speech was even impaired. I thought I was going to die but thankfully I didn’t!
I was reassured by the emergency staff at the hospital that I would be OK and the mental health nurse also helped me to decipher my paranoid and delusional thinking. This gave me a higher level of understanding and appreciation for the power of the mind.

I’ve been seeing a psychologist and have consulted with a gynaecologist and also a naturopath.
I haven’t been able to see a psychiatrist as yet but I’m pretty comfortable with the medication I’m on now and the progress that I have made. I am hoping to return to work in another week once I see the psychiatrist and receive my diagnosis and hopefully get the all clear at the same time!

I’m open and willing to take all and any advice that anyone might have and I too am here to help anyone who has been through something similar. I feel like I have grown so much in the last six weeks and I’m incredibly grateful to be here to share my experience and learn from you all.
Warm regards xx

[frog]

Hello @MiaK thanks for sharing your story. You have had a really rough time recently but seem to be pretty resilient through it all. Psychosis is scary. I ended up in a psych ward with a full blown psychotic episode, complete with paranoia, so I understand something of what you've been through. Eventually I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1, which helped me make sense of my life. In fact I wish the diagnosis had come 30 years earlier! These days I am learning to recognise when my thoughts are heading into unreal territory early ,and intervene with medication. So I'm not on antipsychotics all the time, though I am on other medications and this is vital for me being able to work, and maintain some stability.

I hope you like the forum. It has been wonderful for me. All the best with your psychiatrist and your plans for returning to work. Welcome!

[Chamomile]

HI @MiaK,

Welcome to the forums. Thankyou for sharing your story here. Its amazing to read about all that you have been through and also how far along you have come. I hope the forum will prove a useful space for you as you continue to navigate recovery. Another way to meet new members could be to introduce yourself here.

There are also a few different threads out there where members are sharing thier recovery journeys, such as this one

Best,

C.

[MiaK]

Hey @frog,

Thank you for responding and I appreciate the kind words. Yes, psychosis is scary! It's been a fear of mine for many years. I saw my paternal grandmother regularly as a child who had schizophrenia so it has been a memory that resurfaced during my episode. I do need to remember the positives and without her I wouldn't have my dad, and without my dad I wouldn't be hear so I am greatful that she was born.

I am not yet sure what my diagnosis will be, but I guess I will find out in a couple of days when I see the pschiatrist. There is certainly allot of stigma around psychosis and schizophrenia so I am glad that I found this site and the forum. Our minds are fascinating things. I definately believe there is nothing wrong with having our conditions. I know it's not easy to live with them but I believe it will make me a better person because of it.

Thank you again for sharing a bit of your story with me also. It sounds like you too have suffered grealy so I appreciate you reaching out to me. 🙂

Talk to you soon, M