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LooneyToones
Senior Contributor

Insecurity as I age

I’m finding as I age a lot of things are changing not for the better. eg my feelings of security with partner, my tolerance levels (particularly with children but some adults as well), the state of the world, my over-reaction to situations where it’s not warranted. I have no family members to ask (estranged). Some of my friends seem to share these thoughts but seem to cope whereas I think I over-react. How do I learn not to?

7 REPLIES 7

Re: Insecurity as I age

heya @LooneyToones ❤️ sounds like you've been pondering some big things and it's been a bit tough. 

 

Can I ask what you mean by "feelings are changing" and you feel that you "overreact" to these things? I think this will help us to understand a bit better ❤️ 

Re: Insecurity as I age

@TuxedoCat @Perhaps I should have said “I KNOW” I overact but despite all the self-talk I still do it & it makes situations worse. I believe it stems from long-held issues with trust (early childhood on) and so I’ve become an analyst on practically everything. I’m fortunate in so many ways and really want to live in peace for what’s left of my life -but find it near impossible. 

Re: Insecurity as I age

Thanks for letting me know @LooneyToones ❤️

 

Sounds like you've given self-talk a red-hot crack. For myself, it doesn't always help me with the deeper stuff. But I've been able to find a few more things which have helped recently

 

But I thought I'd share a few things which might help with finding that peace. 

  • Distress Tolerance - this post has a bit of info which you might find useful
  • This post on Our coping toolbox 🧰 
  • I also find things that get me back in my body really helpful. Like identifying where an emotion comes from and breathing into that spot

 

And I know our drop-in counselling line can help give ideas to. Have you called them before? you can

What do you think?

Re: Insecurity as I age

@TuxedoCat @Thanks for your replies 😊 I had no idea these things existed. Just did a quick skim and they look quite helpful. Will def have a closer look at distress tolerance and my coping box. 👍. Unsure about calling -who does that take me to?? Same for webchat 🤷‍♀️ 

my usual tool for self care is withdrawal then when it all gets too hard I prefer a hand-grenade 😵💫🥹

Re: Insecurity as I age

I hope they're useful @LooneyToones ❤️ 

 

For both the phone and webchat, you'll get connected to a SANE counsellor. Sometimes the phone line has a short wait-time. I think for both the phone and webchat, you have a 45 minute session (but it can be shorter if that's useful!). 

 

I know some people also call when they're feeling a bit panicked and the counsellors can help with calming down a bit ❤️ 

Re: Insecurity as I age

@TuxedoCar ❤️

Re: Insecurity as I age

@TuxedoCat ❤️
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