Lived Experience Forum

[Aiita]

I have had a varied journey with schizophrenia over the last 10 years. I have found it to be sneaky and everything is fair game. I have found nothing is safe and skills once mastered can be lost again. Lately I have even forgotten how to put my socks on. 

I'm interested to learn of some of the things the tentacles of schizophrenia have touched in your lives (if thats permitted).

[Schitzo]

@Aiita  when I was psychotic, it tore my only family apart. I had descended into another reality, one where I couldn't be reached. I refused to take my medication and I pushed my family away. I instead chose the company of the voices and the many ghosts I saw. Some were friendly, others were pure evil. The voices threatened to bring harm to me and my sister, so I armed my self with a kitchen utensil to ward off any possible attackers. I became over protective of her and this became a problem. In the end she couldn't go outside anymore because I would stop her for fear she would be attacked. I was hearing voices in the roof and in the walls, I was convinced that it they were out to get us. I started attacking the walls and the roof with the kitchen utensil and  would have attacked any one who came to the door. It felt like I had crossed over, I had become someone dangerous. My sister called the CATT and I was taken into protective custody and sent to hospital. I found the arrest to be quite traumatic, as I was hand cuffed and couldn't defend myself.I was being taken somewhere against my will and became abusive towards the police. At hospital they wouldn't let me see my sister, they turned her away. No one explained to me what was going on, they were only interested in treating the symptoms. I tried to escape the hospital but all the doors were locked. It was the next day when I was able to see my sister that she explained I was taken to hospital as an involuntary patient and I was under a treatment order. I became angry with my sister for a long time after and needed counselling  to deal with the anger, hurt and betrayal I felt. Two years later all the scars are healed and things are pretty much back to normal  I love my sister and I am grateful she called the CATT.

[Aiita]

@Schitzo thank you for your story. They don't tell you much when you're admitted and they expect you to "know".

Funny thing is looking back I have lost a lot of memories of those times. One thing I do know looking back over the last 10 years is that schizophrenia gives you interesting adventures that at the time seem so real.

[greenpea]

@Aiita @Schitzo  when I was in the grips of mania I thought there were microphones and speakers in the house because I kept hearing young people screaming at me. Then the dreams I had night after night were total evil. The things the dreams made me do were so awful because they were so real I was living in a twilight zone of madness.How I survived was remarkable in itself.