Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Smc]

Hi Everyone... have been being invisible again, sorry for the disappearing act.
@Determined@Shaz51 @AussieRecharger @Faith-and-Hope @Paperdaisy  et al.

We've had a few extra trips up to my parents' place over Christmas/New Year, largely because Dad's been very unwell. Unwell to the point that the aged care home has moved to palliative care mode, and we expect to be saying our final farewell to him within the next few weeks.

Feeling sad, but also spending time remembering the happy times with him. Jumping a bit every time the phone rings, in case "this is it". My sister and I visited him a couple of times each when he was in hospital a week ago, but we quite probably won't see him again. We're grateful that he was alert enough to know who we were and be pleased to see us, to tell us that he loves us and hear likewise back from us... but at the moment, he's asleep a lot of the time, and eating intermittently. So we were there when he was able to appreciate the fact, and that counts for a lot. xx

[Faith-and-Hope]

❤️ @Smc …… 

[Determined]

@Smc  ❤ 🙏

[Shaz51]

Hugs @Smc ❤️❤️❤️

[Smc]

Ta @Shaz51 @Determined @Faith-and-Hope 
News keeps coming. As of yesterday, Mum's in hospital... went in looking very much touch and go, but stabilised fairly quickly. They're talking about keeping her in for at least the weekend, maybe longer.

It's circumstances where I'd usually say "time for a trip up", but we've got the complication that we don't want to leave my sister to travel alone if there's a death. Because we were up there only a week ago while Dad was in hospital, she doesn't feel able to take more time off, particularly when there's no certainty about how long for. I'm not up to going there on my own, particularly not if it leads into a funeral and a longer than usual stay. I am ringing up to check on Mum regularly, and as part of the palliative care framework, the aged care home is giving me daily updates on Dad... so keeping in touch as much as possible.

Have had a tricky discussion with Older Daughter about whether she should come to the funeral/s. We wouldn't be in a state to offer her any significant support while there, plus she's still turning up at emergency way too often (mostly physical(?) things that should possibly be dealt with by a GP instead, occasionally SH) and that would really make things hard for us if it happened up there... and even the long train trip she'd need to take to get there would likely be beyond her coping levels. End conclusion is that she's probably better off finding ways to grieve privately at home.

[Determined]

@Smc ❤️ 🙏 

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Smc ❤️🙏 here too

[Smc]

@Faith-and-Hope @Determined @Shaz51 

Sooo... Dad is getting less responsive, can't swallow solids and so he's on liquids only. He's sleeping most of the time and doesn't appear to be in pain... but yeah, he's fading out.

And Mum's still in hospital, and confused/delirious a fair bit of the time. Mostly she seems to be "living out" every day or sometimes weird situations, but as far as I can tell, nothing too nasty or scary, so that's something. Today she was talking about needing to cook a nice meal for Dad. It's a long time since that was a possibility. But one thing that's always stuck in Dad's memory is that "Your Mum's a good cook". Sort of weird in a nice way that they've both been remembering the same thing?

[Faith-and-Hope]

Bittersweet days @Smc  …. ❤️🌷💋

[Smc]

Very apt description @Faith-and-Hope. Yep.