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Whim
Senior Contributor

Hi there after SUCH a long gap...

Hi all,

I don't know why or how, but my account is suddenly working again after probably a year or more. For some reason I just couldn't log on anymore, which left me feeling quite bereft! I have noticed how this forum, and you guys, have helped me so much when I go through 'blues' because in my many down times since last posting, I have wanted to turn to 'SANE' so many times as a tool to help me.

I've just had a bad run - hurting myself physically and wanting to finish it. But now I am more stable, and am trying to be positive. since I last wrote my Psychiatrist has diagnosed me as Bi-polar 2, a diagnosis that to some degrees I disagree with, but hey. The drug regime I am on seems to help with stopping the big crashes downwards, but I still move from happy to desperately sad.

My boy has officially been diagnosed autistic, and so services will commence to help him in a few weeks, such a long-winded process, but so glad to have OT and Speech pathology etc on board now to help him navigate the world better.

I was just talking to a friend about 'good enoough' parenting... For any parents out there, I feel terribly guilty when I am down and can only lie in bed, feed my son and breathe in and out. The ipad gets over-used, same with the TV, and microwave dinners with a veg or two become the norm - stirring or chopping etc are just WAY to hard at these times! (I'm sure many of you know that feeling!) I know I have to forgive myself at these times, as I am unwell, and an doing 'good enough'. He still is told I love him, he is fed, clothed and hugged. I think we all should remember that at times we have to just do 'good enough' for those reliant on us...

My mother is on her way down as I type for a few days.... SHe triggers me enormously, and it was out of an argument with her that I chose to hurt myself. I take full responsibility for MY choice or action, I am just saying that she gets me so stirred up.... My mother is very insecure and has had a hard time in her past. Her responses are often not her fault - she just doesn't know how else to be. 

Thank God I have reconnected with you guys. You are an amazing community f people who are brave, honest, sincere, kind and caring. I'm lucky to have you all.

Whim

18 REPLIES 18

Re: Hi there after SUCH a long gap...

@Whim HI Whim and welcome back 🙂 we haven't met but I have bp1 and schizo and have an autistic son with other issues. The other day I couldnt log onto my account and I thought 'OMG! I have been banned ....' green pea can have a big mouth sometimes .... anyways it is great to meet you and I will hopefully see you around 🙂

Re: Hi there after SUCH a long gap...

Hi greenpea! Great to meet you too. I love your image with the pea smily face! Sounds like we have quite a lot in common! I hope you are having a great day wherever you are 🙂

Re: Hi there after SUCH a long gap...

Welcome back @Whim!

@greenpea, I just wanted to reassure you that we would never ban anyone without first contacting them and working with them to use the forums appropriately Smiley Happy

Also, if you ever have trouble logging in, you can contact us at team@saneforums.org and we will help to get you back online.

Re: Hi there after SUCH a long gap...

Hi @Whim and welcome back to the boards. So glad you were able to return to us! 🙂 

How do you feel about having a diagnosis of bipolar2? I have schizoaffective disorder (bipolar type). I've recently ceased one of my medications as it was making me too groggy during the day. We shall see what the ramifications are mood-wise. Sometimes having a name for all we experience with our mental health can help put it into perspective, sometimes it creates negative stigma. It is all challenges we must face I guess. Now you're back with us, you needn't face it alone. 

Good to see you! 🙂 

 

Re: Hi there after SUCH a long gap...

Hi Queenie! Thanks for your 'welcome', good to hear from you. Hmmmm.. well the diagnosis explained a lot in some ways - but I don't feel I meet the 'hypomania' criteria.... They say it can present differently in women - more as quick to anger, snappy etc and that can certainly be me... I do have moments where I feel totally elated to be in the garden looking at the trees, or dance crazily to music and get totally caught up, and I certainly have always seemed to experience all kinds of emotions deeper than some people, but who knows if that should reinforce a label or not? I feel the stigma of MI deeply, and I am a mental health worker! I hide it from so many people in my 'outside' life, but a few good friends know how I feel and that is very useful.

I hope you find the med change okay. It's always a hard thing to do but if you need to see if things are better without it then I guess you have to try don't you? 

You're not alone either Queenie, remember that. Thinking of you 😉

Re: Hi there after SUCH a long gap...

@Acacia Thanks Acacia 🙂

Re: Hi there after SUCH a long gap...

Hello @Whim and welcome back my friend , I have tagged you to see how you are going Heart

My husband has had MI all his life and was diagnosed with lots of things

and now he is diagnosed with bi polar 2 too

Hello @greenpea, @Queenie, @Acacia

Re: Hi there after SUCH a long gap...

Hi Shaz51!

Great to hear from you. How are you going with your husband having MI? I always feel for the loved ones on the other side, and if you possibly struggle with MI too then things are even harder....

Diagnosis is such a mixture of feelings isn't it? How do you both feel about the diagnosis? If I can help in anyway please let me know. 

Bye for now. x

Re: Hi there after SUCH a long gap...

Hello @Whim  Smiley Happy

I was mentally abused when i was young until mum and I left , I have had depression caused by medication for Epilipsy ,  through my life but have never been diagnosed with a MI

Diagnosis is such a mixture of feelings isn't it? -- it is @Whim , when i was talking to my husband about it  , he feels he had it a long time , so I downloaded the bipolar2 toolkit which i found it WOW but my husband is not interested

How do you both feel about the diagnosis?, sometimes I feel now what do we do ?? but my husband has been playing yoyo with his meds

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