Lived Experience Forum

[greenpea]

I have Bipolar1 and Schizoaffective Disorder. Have been recently diagnosed but have had Post and Pre natal depression in the past and depression when I was a teenager so yes ... mental illness has always been lurking in the background.

 As I write this I am swinging mood wise between manic and depressive. I take my medications religiously ... not because I really want to (there are parts of the mania which are 'wonderful') however, there are other parts which outweigh the great which are horrendous. So I am trying to balance it with not to much success I am afraid.

I love my music and my animals. I find it very hard to socialise because I don't know what to say... does that make sense? When people ask 'Hi what do you do?'  how can I answer 'Im a student (when my mental illness allows me)'. Doesn't sound very appealing... Why would anyone want to deal with that. Thank god for animals they don't judge. They love you for what you are.

I remember my previous psychiatrist said I should join a pottery class ... when all I want to do is drive sports cars very fast blasting my music out (preferably the Prodigy)! 

There is a 17th century philosopher (I cannot remember his name unfortunately ...) who died from syphillus and when they did an autopsy on his brain, his brain was all eaten away from the disease. That is how I feel atm. Like my brain has been eaten away from the mental illness.

I would like to end on a positive note. I am so glad I have found these forums. Everyone here has been so welcoming. It is great to know there are kind people out there who are non judgemental  and want to just be nice 🙂 Best wishes to everyone!!

[Baboo]

Hello 😄 welcome to the forum .

It can be hard to face people sometimes cant it. Ha, i have always been the one who says "good thanks" when some one says Hello.

Animals are great- they do help us through the tricky times.

I hope you find some happy social time in the community here 🙂

Baboo

[Former-Member]

Hi again @greenpea 🙂
I'm glad you found the forums! You are so friendly and caring too!
Thank you for sharing more about yourself adn where things are for you. I'd imagine finding that balance would be so hard!