Lived Experience Forum

[Andrea1]

I feel so heartbroken. My man seems to just don’t care. I made so much effort. God know how much I love him. I’ve been trying for so long to make us work but he is so cold. I am usually the one that’s texting but not obsessively just to keep the relationship going. This week I decided to give him space and to let him come to me when he feels like it. But I didn’t hear from him much. Last time we spoke he said that he really loves me. I don’t understand. I want to believe it but his actions says something completely different. I am done trying. I just can’t do this anymore, I am so tired. If he really loved me then I wouldn’t feel this way. 

[Rhye]

Morning @Andrea1,

I'd just like to start by sending you a big welcome to the forums! It's always lovely meeting new "faces" and getting to know our new members 😊 Thank you for sharing your story here with us this morning, it takes a huge amount of courage and strength to reach out to others, and I think (and hope!) that you'll find this community to be a supportive place to land.

I'm really sorry to hear that things are a bit of a struggle in your relationship right now 💜 It really sounds like you've been trying hard to reach out to your partner and it can be hard if it feels like that isn't being reciprocated. I'm just wondering, given that you decided this week to give him some space and that he has recently mentioned that he does love you, whether you feel able to sit with these feelings? I know for me that sometimes sitting with uncertainty can bring up some big feelings, and I'm wondering if that's the same for you?

I'm going to tag a few Community Guides here who do a wonderful job of welcoming our newest community members: 
@Anastasia  @Faith-and-Hope   @Judi9877  @NatureLover  @outlander  @Shaz51  @Snowie  @Hams  @Aniela @CrazyChick  @maddison  @pinklollipop15  @Eve7 

Rhye ☘️

[Andrea1]

Thank you so much for your reply. I do really appreciate it. I am sort of lost. Don’t know what to think. I just know that I am tired of feeling this pain. I tried to just let go and focus on myself, but it’s so bloody hard, I can’t keep him out of my mind.

[TuxedoCat]

Hi @Andrea1, welcome to the forums. I'm so glad you have shared your experience, I know you aren't alone in what you're feeling. I hope you will feel supported by us here ❤️ 

It sounds like you're going through a tough time right now. I'm sending a big virtual hug because we all deserve to feel loved and supported in our relationships.

It sounds like you've tried some things like giving space and focussing on yourself. And it also sounds like you know what you want to change. Having these insights is a massive strength and not all of us know what we want from a relationship. You should be really proud of knowing yourself so well ❤️ 

Is there anything you usually do to distract yourself when you feel like this? I like to play video games or go for a walk. What do you think?

Also, I'm just wondering if you have any people in your life who you feel comfy talking to? Maybe some friends or professional help?

TuxedoCat 🐈‍⬛

(P.S. If you want to tag someone in a post, you can use the @ function to tag them. for example @moderator or @Rhye)

[Andrea1]

Thank you. I do have family and friends that are very supportive, and I also like to go for a walk every morning. Feeling heartbroken is the worse experience I had. I recently heard that he is seeing someone else, my heart was in pieces, but he denied. I tried to talk to him but he is so hard to communicate with. I didn’t judge I just wanted the truth. We’ve been together for 3 years and I deserve more than what he offers. He is very nice to me when he sees me and very passionate, but once we are back to our work and our lives, he gets so distant, so cold, hardly reaches out, and when he does it is usually good morning or how are you. Sometimes I wish I never met him. I am an happy, positive, bubbly person, but my personality has been changing because of him. Now I am mostly sad, in pain, very quiet not feeling like going out or do anything for myself. Hopefully one day this will pass and I will be back to my old self.

[Andrea1]

@TuxedoCat  Sorry I forgot to tag you in my previous post. But thank you so much for the support ❤️

[Andrea1]

Ok, so I messaged him saying “everything ok?”

because I haven’t heard from him, and today is his day of and I know that he is not busy. He said “ Hi how are” I was waiting for you to text me and you did haha” thank you for thinking of me”

I really don’t understand, is he just playing with me? I don’t recognise him anymore. What does he mean? I am so confused. Should I just never text if I don’t hear from him again? What should I do?

 I am really sorry for bothering you guys but I am so desperate. I don’t know where I stand with him. When I ask him, he says that he misses me and loves me. And now he is talking to me like I am a stranger. And I really tried everything to make him happy, never bothered him, being there for him when he needed me, gave him all my love. I guess that was a mistake. But what should I do next?

[Clawde]

hello @Andrea1  you sound so kind and lovely, Thankyou for sharing your life with us.

my twenty cents bit of advice would be to go somewhere together away from both comfort zones and have a future together conversation, if he just someone who just wants to be your friend for this part of time, with no long term picture like yours, just enjoy his company if it’s not your thing be kind to your self, and let your self move on, if it’s a game to him now in the earlier stages, it will be a mine field in the future, and not fair on you along the way, waiting for your text and not texting you, than laughing is quite not respectful enough for one of my friends, I know this is not what you want to hear, but someone else will be around the corner, take care of your best friend and that is you 🌹from Clawde

[greenpea]

@Andrea1  actions speak louder than words

[Andrea1]

@Clawde  Thank you for your kind words it means a lot. My intuition is telling me that this is not right, but my heart still hopes that he is honest. If he is seeing someone else then it all makes sense. His behaviour. He used to be so lovely at the beginning but after a year he started changing. I can’t be just friends with him after everything we’ve done together. I just wish he would talk to me honestly so I know where we are at and I can finally get a closure so I can move on, it would be painful but what’s the difference. I am hurting so bad anyway.