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Re: From Daughter of a Schizophrenic Mum - A poem (if anyone else relates)

Hi @Shasan 

 

How are you?

It has been a while since we connected. I wanted to reach out and let you know that our conversation meant something to me & touched me in a profound way.

 

Thankyou for mentioning supports, perhaps I will speak to counselor one day. For now I am comfortable working through my thoughts in my own way. I do appreciate your kindness & willingness in suggesting options to find me supports. Thankyou♥️

 

I have been doing a lot of thinking since we last spoke. I don't want to barrage you with all my problems! I will say that some things I had been denying, were no longer deniable since our interaction. To find someone else, as yourself, who was able to validate what I had been suspecting and also yearning validation for, has had a somewhat cataclysmic effect on my life! I am profoundly happy for it & feel deep gratitude for the chance encounter we were able to experience. On the other hand, it has left me with a great pile of crap😄 I have to find places for, & tidy. Loose ends, that I had allow to go unnoticed for too long.

 

I think I have uncovered the source of fear, also that I mentioned. It is different than your interpretation, although I do value your thoughts on the matter, as it has given me an alternative view that I also think is helpful and valid.

 

I won't go into anymore. I'm not sure I'm ready to 'write it out loud.' Also, I don't want to overwhelm you, as I think the topic we are discussing is really very heavy & small amounts here and there, might be easier to process.

 

I hope you are well. Thankyou for taking time to read. If you ever feel like talking through some of your issues, I am happy to be an ear for you. I don't know if you feel the same, I feel talking to you easy because I think we have similar parental experiences, that may be hard for others to understand. 

 

In the same grace you gave me, take as long you need to respond. And if you don't respond at all, that is fine too! I am grateful for chance to connect.

 

Thanks @Shasan ☺️♥️

 

Maddison

 

 

 

 

Re: From Daughter of a Schizophrenic Mum - A poem (if anyone else relates)

@maddison Helloooo! 🙂

 

Thank you for your note. I've been doing okay, better than a few weeks ago. How are you going? How have things been this week for you on the healing front?  ❤️

 

It's so good to connect with you too - I feel grateful and supported too and share similar sentiment about the chance encounter.

 

I feel like I know you, even though we just met 🙂 Thank you for offering support if needed, I'll be sure to reach out, much appreciated and I'm sure you know I'm right here anytime you need me as well - perhaps sharing the latest bits on our mind if it feels safe and comfortable to do so as that could lead to further validation, may be? 

 

I agree, the slow and steady approach is 100% more sustainable. I read this somewhere the other day - slow is the fastest way to get somewhere 😂 definitely true for any healing, especially relational trauma (fancy word for childhood trauma). 

 

I hear you about the positive power of validation and genuine empathy, especially from someone who's been in a similar situation - it's incredible and life-changing indeed. I often go to Google for this, but glad i now have this forum 😁 I read approx. 330 million ppl in the world are affected by schizophrenia - Wow! and so little information about it for carers and the patients.

 

I'd like to share a little background about me if that's ok as it might add to the overall context 😊 My study and work is in the field of trauma sensitive mindfulness and psychology. So, I'm very close to these topics and my study brings me into contact with facing my own fears, constantly + has taught me tools to notice and observe them as they rise, move and pass. It's overwhelming at times and I go through the cycle of mildly depressive symptoms + anxiety loops (but now can finally find humour in it and notice my mind at work 😂 It's just what minds do coz it's so out of its comfort zone).

 

Every single time, I've learnt one thing (& still learning and practicing) - It seems like a massive scary hill to climb, once I muster up the courage to start, with every step the fear starts dropping away little by little and slowly and gradually, it builds a feeling of empowerment & self-efficacy - That knowing that I'm not alone in this and I have all the resources and tools that I need. I have overcome these things without much information as a child, I can definitely do it better as an adult with so much more knowledge and support at my disposal.

 

If something comes up for me, I usually note it down and take it to therapy - I've tried doing it on my own but realised it was just beyond my capacity & took way too long. I'm so inspired to hear you're feeling confident to deal with it on your own - That's the best way as long as it's helpful as it truly builds the confidence even further 💪 I wish you all the very best @@mafd

 

So grateful for community, for heart-centric people and their ability to empathise and relate, for check-ins from amazing humans like you and others here and for so much more!

 

I'm not alone in this. 🥲🥰🙏🏽

 

 

 

 

 

 

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