Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Appleblossom]

@Kate12 

Glad you have some therapy and clarity about things.

@andromeda9 

I am actually not good at boundaries.  I posted about it a lot here.https://saneforums.org/t5/Something-s-not-right/Re-Learning-about-Relationship-Boundaries/m-p/38663#... 

I come more from a position as a people pleaser who tried to bridge gaps and divisions.  I was great for my exhusband as he did not trust his own family and came to Australia to get away from them and his own culture. He over stated their culpability a great deal as is common with persecutory types. Now he "gets on" long distance with them, without much contact, but my family suffered for his, and my breakdown after years of marriage, destroyed my family irreparably. I am slowly coming to terms with this and my romanticisation of healing and optimisitic outcomes.  A bitter Dose of reality without crushing my whole spirit and soul.

[Kate12]

@andromeda9 

Oh I hear you, I also struggled with boundaries and being a people pleaser. With a mother who had Bi polar I wasn't allowed boundaries. 
It took a lot of inner work and guided counselling to teach me that I have a right to my own boundaries without guilt. 
Im so sorry your road has been so hard. And that damage occurred along the way. Life can be so cruel at times. But I hope that now you have been able to separate for a chance for you to rebuild again a new further for yourself. But yes it's not easy to heal and rebuild but believe you are worth it!!! 

[earthfairy]

I feel what you have said so deeply. My partner is currently going through what i believe to be psychosis but we are taking a long route to finding the actual diagnosis.
2 months ago he was advised to go to emergency but declined as he didnt want to be in hospital  by himself and me not able to visit due to covid so stayed home and seeked psychiatrists and councillors appoitments.

My anxiety and mental health is now declining whilst we wait for these appointments