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16-08-2018 10:52 PM
16-08-2018 10:52 PM
Re: Depression Dementia Dading
❤️ @Former-Member ....
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17-08-2018 01:25 AM
17-08-2018 01:25 AM
Re: Depression Dementia Dading
@Former-Member WTG
Do you remember Ms Celie's Blues ... AKA by its first word ... SIster
Thinking you made the call about the medical id card.
You worked in the field.
There is something about family when loving and follow through shows through ... lol
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17-08-2018 07:34 AM
17-08-2018 07:34 AM
Re: Depression Dementia Dading
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17-08-2018 08:31 AM
17-08-2018 08:31 AM
Re: Depression Dementia Dading
Hi @Owlunar, yep, the brothers, they sure are a handful. Invited Bro3&4 to dinner to tell them I'd put dad in care, but had to offer money to get them here (gave 50 each toward petrol to visit dad while I'm away), makes me sick how they so hungry for money. Bro4 has already asked "what's dad gonna do for money?" Bro4 has been borrowingborrowing cash from dad every week this last 4 months... And even when mum was in hospital, palliative care, they were sponging off her. Then abused me when I his her credid card. Thing is, in hospital - they have everything THEY need. Anyway, yes, telling them about dad. Not only did I provide pizza but I invited my exceptional new church hubby & wife too, in case they went 'off' at me. I asked - are you OK with that? Bro4 immediately said an affirmative YEP! Bro3 was thinking... he started to lecture me about not involving them in the decision, or giving them notice... I told him I couldn't handle any 'roadblocks' or arguments. He was agitated and got up - I told him its been REALLY fifficult to organise, the facility close to his house was full... and besides, I only knew this bed was free Monday... and they can't 'hold' it for me, had to be this week. ... He was holding back because of the visitors I could tell. Then had to go to toot, then started fishing around foranaspro for bad headache (from those invisible lazorbeams...) and he had to go... with allall the leftovers. I wanted him to come with us to visit dad together but he said 'its too much Hassel in the dark with his headache, & said I should have done this in the day... I even offered to drive him, but he left. Bro4 & guest hubby helped put dadsdads heavy chair in the car... and we went to see himhim.
But poor you, stressing about 'the interview' - (umm, what was it for?). Glad you got to "have my say about a lot of issues important to me and others". WELL DONE DEC!!! Proud of you. xox
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17-08-2018 08:46 AM
17-08-2018 08:46 AM
Re: Depression Dementia Dad
Wise move having other friends over at same time as brothers @Former-Member. 😀
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17-08-2018 11:43 AM - edited 17-08-2018 11:02 PM
17-08-2018 11:43 AM - edited 17-08-2018 11:02 PM
Re: Depression Dementia Dading
Hi @Former-Member
I think your brothers are in their 40s and 50s thereabouts - a bit late in life for them to grow up and I think one reason is that your mother was enabling them - again - it's a bit late and now you have them in the way battling your for the power but alas - not the responsibility of your Dad
Can't win with them - I am sorry - I had to give up on my sibs - unpleasant people - we can do without vexatious spirits - I don't know what to suggest because they are part of your bundle right now and they are hungry for money and that's pretty hard to manage.
That was a good idea getting a church couple to come in and help you out with the family stuff and your brothers - well done
Yes - I had the chance to have my say and I took it - I wasn't stressing about the interview - I find it hard to get moving in the morning with my bad back - yesterday was okay - I have to do the same next month when I spend the night at the airport and have to get up early to get over to get myself over to board early - I will have my breakfast in the lounge - I am sure that I can get room service to wake me up with a cup of coffee
I read late at night - this is fine when I have afternoon appointments but it makes it hard to get going in the morning - but I manage it when I have to
Keep going one day at a time with your project - it's hard but you are getting there
Dec
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17-08-2018 10:59 PM - edited 20-08-2018 12:48 AM
17-08-2018 10:59 PM - edited 20-08-2018 12:48 AM
Re: Depression Dementia Dading
Thanks @De, one day at a time for me? I'm tired and don't wanna go...
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17-08-2018 11:18 PM
17-08-2018 11:18 PM
Re: Depression Dementia Dading
Hells Bells I know @Former-Member
I went past my old house yesterday and it's being done up again - really looks nice too - but I remember when it was run-down and needed a lot of work done and I refused to pay for the renovations so nothing was done to fix the place
And it was sold and done quickly - I wanted the property off my hands and the memories are hard ones - I remember packing and feeling a terrible despair - failure - that the marriage was gone and I never wanted that -
But I got tired fighting really - that had to stop - so I really didn't want to break my marriage vows but yes - I didn't have my aged parents in everything and my sibs were not involved with my decision -
But it was hard - it's like packing up memories of those things that can never be again and your daughter is mixed up in your packing - this was your family home and decision, decision and more decisions about your stuff -
And it's easy for me to say "get rid of it?" cause that's what we have to do and I was taking heaps of stuff to the op shop and the lady there who was someone from my church kept saying "You can't give that away" and it was making it harder.
So yes - I had to deal with my depression and faced moving and being alone and I had a really bad spell - I never thought of it as mental illness but it would be classed as that now - so yes - answering an earlier post of yours - I do know more about it than I am willing to say -
So a bit at a time and I know you don't want to go back to your old house and the memories - you have posted how bad things were at times - I get it
Could you not do this? Could you pay someone else to do it? I think this could be easier but what can I suggest? When you go to bed at night plan to sleep in - it might feel better in the morning and a late start might make it easier - on the other hand getting up and getting started is probably better
But it's going to be hard - I will be here for you as much as possible because I remember sitting on the floor wrapping plates in newspaper and putting them in cartons and hating it
Thinking of you all the time Lapses
Dec
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20-08-2018 01:41 AM
20-08-2018 01:41 AM
Re: Depression Dementia Dading
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20-08-2018 10:31 PM
20-08-2018 10:31 PM