Lived Experience Forum

[Dawnann25]

Hi everyone 

I have come on today because I need help I am depressed and I am 21 weeks pregnant, with a not so supportive partner , 

any suggestions on how to start being positive again any day today strategies for making your self happy again

thanks 

[Paulette]

Hi @Dawnann25 ,

It's lovely to meet welcome and thankyou so much for sharing. You so need a supportive partner when you are pregnant. I really hope you have either family or friends who you can confide in about your feelings. Talking about your situation re non supportive partner is a positive thing to do. I find I am quite introverted at times and also.have depression. People hear are very caring and supportive. You are most definitely in the right place. I meditate and do slow deep breathing. I know this may not be easy at your stage of pregnancy. Do you have hobbies that you enjoy? I am starting to read again and I want to start making jewellery again. I do empathise with you. I had two children and had no family nearby and a partner who was not supportive. Thinking of you and I hope we might chat soon. Please look after yourself, be gentle on yourself. 

[Dawnann25]

Thank you for the response, it nice to know I am not alone , I can’t even seem to think of a hobby I would enjoy doing because I just feel dumb and alone , my partner is never around , n basically makes me feel like I am not worth the time , gaslighting me at every chance he gets , do you know any coping mechanisms I am struggling , thanks 

[tyme]

Like @Paulette , I am also extending a warm welcome to you @Dawnann25 ,

Welcome to the forums and making your first post!

It takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your experiences to an unknown community.

I'm sorry you are finding this so tough at the moment. I'd encourage you to monitor how you are feeling, seeing as you are 21 weeks pregnant. Your hormones may be going haywire which may contribute to how you are currently feeling. If you feel unsure, please reach out to your GP.

In the meantime, as @Paulette has mentioned, do you have other supports in place whom you can confide in?

If, at anytime you feel you need a chat, you are welcome to contact our Drop-In service to speak to a counsellor on 1800 187 263 (M-F 10am-10pm). Webchat is also available https://www.sane.org/get-support/drop-in-service

Looking forward to hearing from you.

If you'd like to tag someone into your post, you can type "@" in front of their username so that they receive a notification. Like this @tyme 

[tyme]

What are you interested in @Dawnann25 ?

For me, when I'm stressed, I like going for walks outside, I may use the Smiling Mind app to practice some mindfulness activities... but best of all, I love hanging out here on the forums because there's ALWAYS a real person online (not a robot).

Even in the wee hours of the night or morning, there is a human online. You can tag @moderator to get their attention 🙂

You are NOT alone even though sometimes it may feel lonely.

[Little_Leopard]

@Dawnann25  I may be wrong but it sounds to me like you are wanting to leave.

Everyone deserves to feel

loved, cared for and respected. Your partner should be supportive and loving but it sounds to me that you don’t feel valued or respected. And you also said that he gaslights you which is a type of emotional abuse and manipulation.

 You do not need anyone’s permission to leave. If you want to leave you are absolutely free to do so. And you don’t even need an excuse. You do what is right for you.

In these hard situations I ask myself if in a years time I would still be ok in the same situation. 

[Paulette]

Hi @Dawnann25 ,

I'm so feeling for you right now. Please know you are a not dumb but much loved and supported. You are definitely not alone. It takes a lot of strength in your situation. The lack of support and compassion you are not receiving from your partner is.... breathtakingly apalling. Do you have good antenatal care. Is there a midwife you could confide in. This is all so unfair. Please as @ Tyme suggests come on here and chat with others at anytime. There is much care to find here, please don't feel ashamed. Your self esteem needs a big boost. I am genuinely concerned about you. I do feel in pain at what you have said and am happy to chat if you wish. In terms of coping mechanisms I feel very strongly that you need time away from the negativity and require a lot of nurturing. Do have anyone that you could stay with as obviously your partner is not there to support you. 

[Little_Leopard]

@tyme  Thanks for the reminder about the smiling mind app I think I used it briefly or I heard about it a few years ago. I use the Calm app but I might give smiling mind a go to change it up. Cheers!

[Little_Leopard]

@Dawnann25, I also second the suggestion that @Paulette 

made for time away and going to live with a loving and supportive family member or friend.

[Dawnann25]

Thanks  😊