Lived Experience Forum

[Meowmy]

@eudemonism  thanks for care and support and good advise. I think that is for the best as well.I am in pain now having brought on the grief. But I am sure with time,days,weeks, months, the pain will ease and I will start new living again.

I am out for a walk and bought myself coffee.

Thanks again.

[eudemonism]

@Meowmy fair enough contact this person and tell them what youre thinking feeling doing but you also gotta consider youve parted and gone youre own way to begin with for a reason

Many times in my moments of wanting someone to be there for me ive gone over possibilities about exes and previous partners still wanting me thinking theres still a possibility of something there

Now i think about it and i feel quite silly stupid about it

I was desperately wanting that love story and that fairytale ending and i was trying to play the part and on the other hand i have always been thinking the relationship and marriage thing just would not work and would be to hard for myself to deal with

Its like its the milestone of life you find a wife partner you work you have children you have what you need and you live happily ever after but for alot of people it doesnt work out like that

Where ive gone wrong is not providing myself with the hyracy of needs and woman have seen that and seen it as an issue because indeed it was an issue and this falls solely back upon myself to deal with and accept

[Meowmy]

@eudemonism thanks for care and support. It helps a lot. Now life goes on. I am by myself. Hard to find emotional support. I keep myself busy. But hard to feel good. Apart from forum friends, I don't have any friends.No family apart from very elderly and need support mum.

I just have to keep going.

Life is hard.

Thanks for thinking and write to me.

[Meowmy]

@eudemonism @Shaz51 @MDT @outlander @CheerBear  I survived. I come to forgive my father. Now I just feel a bit numb. Looking to future, it will be a hard life. Battling alone. I am seeing a psychologist next week.May help with some face to face support.

My mum is deteriorating fast. Hard for me to deal with her dementia.

I hope you will have better luck than me.

Have a good weekend.

[CheerBear]

❤ @Meowmy. Lots of really tough stuff happening for you 🙁

I hope there is something in your day today that feels OK for you.

[Meowmy]

@CheerBear @eudemonism @Shaz51 @MDT @outlander Since the onset of my mental illness, it’s been twenty five years. I had many flare ups, half the time wasn’t well, fifteen admissions . Now I have been stable for over a year mentally. Deal with some deep emotional issues. Realize time had passed. Now I am in my fifties. Mum deteriorating physically and mentally. She has been there for me. I don’t want to put her in care.Then for myself, I don’t have support network. May be it’s normal, people come and go in lives. I work part time. Try to join groups to make myself busy. Hard to find friends, apart here from the forum.

I don’t know what to look forward to.

May be if I keep going to the groups. May find some friends after some time.

Keep myself fit.

Exercise.

Support others best I can.

Hope things will work out.

[Shaz51]

@Meowmy, one day at a time my friend , a step at a time

to remember self care for you xx

here for you

[MDT]

More than likely @Meowmy those things you mention will help.
Take it one day at a time like @Shaz51 says.
I believe that sometimes we want things to do be better with our MH immediately but this can't work.
You've already articulated some good ideas there and that tells me you have the ability to figure out what needs to happen.
Just remember that it takes time. Things change. I think you are doing well by being here on forum land. It really is a supportive community without being condescending and babyish. It's just a really good place to share what works and what you can do while also acknowledging the bad times and supporting one another.

I've found similar with friends and making new ones tbh. Since childhood in fact. Right now I'm in a transition phase with friendships too. It is what it is.

[BlueBay]

Deep emotional pain is taking over my life. @MDT @Meowmy 

@Shaz51 @CheerBear 

why do we have to go through do much psin that it hurts your heart. Why? I try to answer this question but I don’t know the answer. 

Life is so nit fair. So many people suffering. 

I better stop otherwise I’ll get more zngry 

some days I feel it’s not me on here. It’s a different person crying screaming and hurting. Like a little girl so so hurt.  It’s not the real me. 

[Shaz51]

my sister @BlueBay , you have had a big week and also with your blood pressure going up and down had left you feeling very exhausted today

how are you feeling , still light headed or headachy ?

have you been able to see in your coping box today , sitting with you xx'

with you too @Meowmy , have you got a coping box ??