Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Rhodes]

Hi all - I am new to this and i am hoping that I find people who can relate to what both my wife and I are going thru.

My wife of 16 years has in the last 4 months been diagnosed with Bipolar (Cyclothymia) after an attempted suicide caused by a number of factors (not all her fault). 8 weeks ago I decided to end the relationship as I felt that for the majority of our relationship I was being used as her outlet and emotionally couldn't take it anymore as I was bottling everything up and couldn't let it go and it HURT so much - leading upto this period I turned to gambling because I didnt have the courage or strength to confront our issues. We are both going thru individual counselling to deal with these.

Now that there has been a diagnosis I'm reaching out to the ether to see what others are successfully doing to try and survive thru this.

I love my wife very much and want to make it work.

[Shaz51]

Hello @Rhodes and welcome to the forum

there is a lot of threads and members here with  "Bipolar "

but not sure of (Cyclothymia) but maybe one of the moderators @Acacia, @Scout, @NikNik, @Lauz, @Lunar, @Pebbles may be able to help you

[Former-Member]

Hey @Rhodes

I care for my husband (aka Mr Darcy) who has a BPii + more.

The feelings that are associated with an attempt are very raw and can last for quite some time. There is a thread in the "special events" tab about this which you may find helpful.

To survive through an attempt and a diagnosis takes commitment, compassion and an ability to forgive. It is sheer hard work at times and taking care of ourselves as carers is necessary. Learning how to respond in a healthy way to my partners MI made a difference for me.

[greenpea]

@Rhodes Hi Rhodes I have Bipolar 1 and schizoaffective disorder and was married for 20 years. Unfortunately our marriage couldnt last the distance due to a number of factors not entirely on my Mental Illness. That said I still have a wonderful relationship with my ex and we talk regularly. I suppose what I am saying is dont despair either way it will be ok.

I wish both you and your wife well and welcome to the boards.

[Rhodes]

Thank you Greenpea, I know it's early for us and Im hoping that we can work thru this like you have.

[Lunar]

Hello @Rhodes

Welcome to the forums, it is nice to meet you 🙂

It is great you are currently seeking ways of getting some extra support for yourself at the moment with the care of your wife with bipolar symptoms, as well as seeking some individual counselling.

There are some other members in the Carer section of the forum with partners experiencing bipolar symptoms, you might like to read through:

There is a great thread by @Uggy78 called 'Bipolar', another great thread by @Scruffy called 'Bipolar episodes every 8 months' and also great is member @Megan's thread called 'Bipolar husband'

Take care of yourself, I look forward to getting to know you better - we also have some social threads for carers, if you would like to drop in for a hot chocolate at times 'Hot chcolate anyone?'

Lunar

[Zorro]

I have lived with my wife for 23 years and she has had bipolar.

It is not fun. The thing that really helped me is to learn as much as possible about her condition, the more you know the better you will be able to manage and understand it.

Be open about your wifes condition to your employers at work and with friends , it will help them understand what you are going through. Dont bottle it up.

Try and find a real good phyciatrist who specialises in Bi Polar.

I found quite a bit of relief when my wifes condition was initally diagnosed at least we had astarting point.

There is a lot of trial and error in the getting onto the right right medication, and if you are lucky you might find something that may help.

The problem with meds is that when it works, the patient ussually feels better and therefore sees no need to take the medication anymore.

After 23 years I still administer meds to my wife daily to make sure she takes it and she is fairly stable, but get used to things being a bit abnormal.......that is going to be the new normal.

[DD5]

I feel for you Rhodes. My wife has exactly tge sane thing. I have been her emotional punching bag for many years. We have nearly separated many times. I trally don't know what to do or suggest anymore. Greenpea your story gives me hope that a nornal life could be possible.
All I can say Rhodes is that I admire your committment and loyalty. You are a guy I would want in the trenches beside me !