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sleepy_eyes78
Contributor

Bipolar

Hi everyone, I'm new to forums, I have spent most of the past few years on my own, with my 2 children. I'm a single parent, who has come from a difficult background as well. Il tell u guys my story... my parents divorced when I was 3 at the time and I have 3 siblings. My mother sent 2 of us to live with my father, I was the only girl apart from my mother. My father was an abusive man. He moved with myself and my brother to another state. The abuse continued, however the physical abuse wasn't the only kind of abuse, he neglected to buy us food and cloths so I was always in either what I had or cloths that were given to me by a couple of friends that I made. The little bit of food he would buy would be a constant fight btw my brother and I. We moved from school to school to school and from home to home this was a regular thing for him, now as an adult I can only assume that he did this as teachers along with neighbors would talk to him about how we were dressed or the fact that we had no lunch. This went on for years, eventually my brother was put into a home and I was left with him. I learnt nothing in school, I lost all my education thanks to him. By the time I got to high school I had no basic understanding of any of the subjects, I was moved so frequently the other half of the time either forced to work with him or just not put into a school. I'm grateful that at the very least I can write and read. A few years after my brother was removed I was also raped at the age of 12. After all the trauma that I had already experienced by the time I was 13 I rebelled. To much hatred and anger that I was raised in. That's what he taught us, to hate and to fear. At 13 due to my rebellious nature I just couldn't handle any more abuse he hasomething I will never forget!. Following that last beating I new that if I didnt leave that almost guaranteed he would well you can imagine what was running through my mind for the next time. So I ran away. I went to my friends house, the police turned up they were satisfied that I feared for my life and advised me that I needed to contact human services otherwise I would be placed back onto the missing person list and possibly sent back to my father. So I contacted them went in to see them they contacted my mother and asked her if she would be willing to take me to her house to her response " I have to ask my boyfriend".... point of the story is I haven't had family support, group support, or any kind of assistance with all that has happened you can all imagine that my story doesn't end there with the response from my so called mother. I struggle daily, I have been in some form of abusive relationships all the way through my life I am now 38 turning 39 this month. I have been diagnosed with bipolar and borderline personality disorder I have also tried my hardest to get some sort of stability in my life, I have also been miss diagnosed for the past 6 years prior to that I didn't allow any emotion or stresses to effect me to the degree that they do now. I struggled holding any kind of position I was always jumping from job to job, now my concentration levels and memory loss don't even allow me to get that far. I struggle in putting food on the table for my 2 children, my income is only what Centrelink gives and even that is a battle in itself I should be on disability but their rules don't apply to everything, so I also have the stress of having to look for work when I'm not even stable enough to have a normal life( sorry my venting) I guess what I'm trying to say to you guys is 1. Be strong. 2. Don't give up. 3. Always remember that there is always someone worse off than what we all are. I'm barely coping and that is the honest truth but I have to remember to be humble and strong. Try not to make matters worse for my self I beat up myself all the time, I never thought I would find myself in this situation with my children but I must move forward. I hope that my story may help some of you guys out there, believe it or not I had only touched on the full story, I don't finish it as I thought it may be too long for you all to read. Thank you for listening guys😉

9 REPLIES 9
Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Bipolar

Welcome to the forum. Thanks for sharing. There is an introduce yourself thread too. Your story is full of hope which we all need. I am a single mum too and lucky to have a job. I hear your struggle and athink that you are doing great
Lunar
Senior Contributor

Re: Bipolar

Hello @sleepy_eyes78

Welcome to the forums I have not yet met you before 🙂

Thank you so much for sharing your story, I can't even imagine how you were able to cope through all of that that truly astounds me, I can honestly say you are amazing.

You mentioned that you are barely coping at the moment and just getting some assistance with centrelink and money, are you receiving any other support at the moment?

Keep sharing with us, we are here for you 🙂

Kindest,

Lunar

Re: Bipolar

Hi there Lunar,
Thank you for for kind response. Well I have seen 3 phycs 2 have said that I have bipolar and bp. The other has said bipolar and complex trauma syndrome, due to being restricted financially I have to rely on phycs that are covered by Medicare. I have had appointments with phycholigists that haven't gone very well, the last phycholigist ended up telling me about his problems!. So I have been put off for that reason with phycholigists. To be quite honest I'm not sure who to turn too for therapy. I will be attending my old phychiatrist at the end of this month (god willing) and see if she has any suggestions to offer. She hasn't offered any in the past so i can only hope things have changed a little over the past year. As far as Centrelink is concerned I'm on job search allowance and ftb part A and B. I have no other source of income. Both my boys are in high school so my priority is there school books and fees, food, and a roof over there head. My income doesn't leave enough room for medical. I have a mental health worker but she is also limited in assistance, she takes me out 1 every 2 weeks for a coffee (keeps me from being so isolated) catches up with me and is attempting to help me apply for disability pension so that I can focus more on my health, the boys, and not stress out so much about not having work, not being able to function so well for work right now. But things aren't looking very good with Centrelink. All I can do is just read online about bipolar and about borderline to try to remember as my memory is bad and look for advice that can help. Keep taking my medication and try and not stress out myself so much.remain strong within. Sleep is not the best, and trying to keep a routine has been awfully difficult. Lack of sleep hasn't helped. But I keep moving forward. Thank you for your reply lunar it helps a lot . 😉
utopia
Senior Contributor

Re: Bipolar

@sleepy_eyes78. Welcome to the forum. And thank you for sharing some of your story with us.
I'm also on Centrelink - single parent to a teenage boy. The best thing I've found, is to get the assistance of your gp and/or psychologist (I hope you find a good one - who doesn't talk about his own stuff).
Your gp can write out a centrelink medical certificate. She can specify how long you will be 'unfit' to look for work. At the moment I'm doing month by month. This will give you a reprieve from the stress of centrelink and the stress of applying for jobs. Then hopefully you can switch over to the disability pension after that - with the help of your psychiatrist.
I wish you well with all of this.

Re: Bipolar

Hi there lunar, how are you today? I hope you are well😉. Thank you kindly for your advice😉.
However according to Centrelink you cannot hand in a medical certificate for the same conditiin more than a handful of times. That's what I was told last year. Ever since I had been attending my job service provider up until I handed in my claim for disability in feb. tommorow I have another appointment with Centrelink to see a job capacity worker, to where they will decide weather or not I'm applicable to disability or just reduce the capacity of hrs to what they think I could work. ( which is what I think will happen again) It's really overwealming for me right now and all I can do is just have some hope that things will work out. I hate relying on Centrelink for anything. In the past I have always worked so now that I'm incapacitated to work I feel I have no choice☹️. The battle stresses me out a lot I dont cope very well with them at all. I'm scared about what will happen tommorow and I can already see it's going to be a sleepless night for me tonight. Thank you for listening and I really hope you are doing well.

Re: Bipolar

Hi there Liberty
Thank you for ur warm words it's much appreciated😉

As much as life can be awfully tough on us it can be ok too at times, sometimes we just need to be that little bit more stronger for things to turn out better for us.

Things are very tough on me at the moment but my strength keeps me from harm. Even though I don't feel it right now but I know it's there😉.

I hope you are doing well today and I'm here for all you guys too😉 That also gives us strength.
Take care Liberty😉

Re: Bipolar

Hey Utopia,

I responded back to ur message but attention to the wrong name (lunar) sorry about that. I have massive memory issues so I forget names easily . Have a good noght😉
utopia
Senior Contributor

Re: Bipolar

Centrelink has never queried my meducal certificates @sleepy_eyes78. Maybe I've been lucky. Maybe they gave you wrong info. It happens with Centrelink.
I hope tomorrow they will fix it all up for you.

Re: Bipolar

Thank you, all I can do is be hopeful.😉 Take care and have a good night.
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