Lived Experience Forum

[DeeDee2]

I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder  which is a horrible mental illness. Very difficult to find people who understand what it is. 

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi @DeeDee2, Welcome to Forum Land. I was diagnosed with BPD in 1996. Sadly there is still a lot of stigma associated with this diagnosis, although this is sloooooowly changing. One of the things I super love about Forum Land is that that stigma doesn't exist here.

I am currently working on spending a bit less time in Forum Land (I am mildly addicted), but I wanted to just drop by and let you know that you are not alone in dealing with BPD and the challenge of accessing good support. I have just started with my twelfth therapist in 18 months, so I definitely know how hard it can be to find anyone who "gets" the things people with BPD struggle with.

I tend to hang out a lot on a thread called "I'm riding a wave" and I am also a regular at Friday feast which generally kicks off around 7pm on Fridays (on the thread aptly named "Friday Feast" ). I don't suppose you are into yoga are you? If so, you are very welcome to come and join in the most ridiculous yoga group that has ever existed, on the thread titled "the great yoga adventure."

I hope to see you around in Forum Land.

[DeeDee2]

Thank you so much for your reply. Wow 12 specialist in 18 months. Finally I have found someone who understands. I've lost count of how many people that I have been to. What the worst thing is that you have to go over all the horrible things that you have had to deal with. That takes an hour and you walk out feeling like you have been run over by a bus and you  go home and go to bed for three days. Luckily I have found a wonderful GP who is really up to date with mental health. He sees me every fortnight for an hour and the fact he's a GP noone knows that I'm a nutter. What annoys me the most is people telling me to just get over it and to build a bridge. Some times I  wish people could be me for just ONE day and I'm sure they would have more empathy

[DeeDee2]

 I was diagnosed with BPD at the age of 55. When I  finally found what was wrong it was like a huge weight off my shoulders.  Then came all the flash backs that I  had suppressed which caused me a great deal of pain and sorrow.. In the end I had a total mental breakdown and everyone I considered a friend  didn't know what to do so they just stopped talking to me. The fallout from mental illness is extreme.

[DeeDee2]

 I was diagnosed with BPD at the age of 55. When I  finally found what was wrong it was like a huge weight off my shoulders.  Then came all the flash backs that I  had suppressed which caused me a great deal of pain and sorrow.. In the end I had a total mental breakdown and everyone I considered a friend  didn't know what to do so they just stopped talking to me. The fallout from mental illness is extreme.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi @DeeDee2, It must have been really hard going through so many years of knowing something was wrong and not getting a correct diagnosis. I was diagnosed when I was 19. It's awesome that you have a good GP. I only found a good GP last year. Before then, I had no idea why people would constantly say "have you spoken to your GP" because no previous GP had had any interest in my mental health issues.

I totally hear you about trying to find a good therapist. The last couple of years have been really hellish in my world. At that time I disentangled myself from a very complicated relationship I had been in with my psychologist of sixteen years and thus began the saga of therapist shopping. My awesome uni counsellor found me a psychologist...who then closed her practice five months later. Thus the adventures of therapist shopping. However, I have now connected with someone (who goes by the name of M around here) and I am super hoping that things will start to settle down.

I also hear you about losing friends. My entire social network broke down in my late teens and I am now very reclusive. I super love the sense of community here in Forum Land.

By the way, I have my settings set such that I only receive notifications if someone tags me. You do this by putting the  @ sign in front of the person's name. If you don't do this, I won't know you have responded to me. I'm really glad you found Forum Land and I super hope you can feel well-supported here.

[Appleblossom]

@DeeDee2

I probably tick enough boxes to qualify for BPD.  I am 57, yet only honestly dx with MDD.

The pdoc who gave me that dx said my brother had BPD. It was in 1987 and I did not have a clue what that meant as there was no internet or even that many books on it back then.  I had done heaps of research on Sz Class of mental illness.

Back then I DID not tick the boxes for BPD but probably more schizoeffective disorder or aspie.

I am probably going to go through a dx process soon if new pdoc agrees, but as he is also head of electric shock at local private hospital I am wary.

@Phoenix_Rising is a gorgeous riot of humour and very articulate.  We will miss her if she ever leaves the forum for good.  She has certainly cheered up a few of my days.

Welcome

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Appleblossom Awwwww shucks, I feel all warm and fuzzy.

[Shaz51]

@show_me_gray, @Wonderingsoul

Hello @Phoenix_Rising, @DeeDee2, @Appleblossom