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Re: Are you a people pleaser?????

Hi @Shaz51 and others.

 

@Shaz51 I’m sorry you didn’t feel like  eating dinner😢. I hope by now you’ve managed to eat something, no matter how small as you need food to help keep you healthy, especially mentally healthy. 

You are definitely one of the most caring, thoughtful, respectful, honest, nicest people I know and I’m so glad to have you in my life! Don’t worry about what other people say about you being too nice. That’s a great quality to have and I’d be proud of it! I find you to have lots of knowledge on many different topics and I love how you willingly share it across the forums to so many different forum members and groups. That’s special and don’t you fidget it!

 

As for being a people pleaser, I will admit that I’m known to engage in that behaviour at times, especially around times of conflict which I’m scared of. Sometimes , I’ll agree to something just to keep that person happy or to get some peace and to avoid any negative consequences, like more arguments for example. I do however, often feel bad for doing it because often I’ve made the other person happy at my expense which hurts me as well in the long run. Does this make any sense at all? I do find it hard to stick up for myself around people in authority and people I don’t know as I’m scared they’re right and that I’ll only get into trouble if I challenge them or the situation which goes back to my childhood trauma of living through domestic and family violence as a child. Again, I think this also has something to do with my mental illnesses as well to be honest. 

I hope I’ve provided you and others with some helpful things in this discussion!

 

Take care!

Judi9877☺️💐

Re: Are you a people pleaser?????

The irony for me was that ... I thought I was independent ... but in fact I was a dreadful people pleaser and was not aware til recently.

 

Re: Are you a people pleaser?????

Hugs and thank you @Judi9877 xxx

Re: Are you a people pleaser?????

Yes me too @Appleblossom 🥰

Re: Are you a people pleaser?????

Well ….. beyond the discard @Jynx, but still ensnared and fighting my way out of the briar patch …,.

Re: Are you a people pleaser?????

Hey @Judi9877 

I can relate very much to what you wrote. 
I get scared of a confrontation or fight. So I agree. This is the case with my controlling and manipulative mum. I’m sure she’s a narcissist. 

 

Re: Are you a people pleaser?????

I am a fawner @Jynx 😀

Hello @BlueBay , @Faith-and-Hope , @Appleblossom , @Judi9877 , @Dimity , @Zoe7 

We got through morning tea celebrations this morning with 8 of us around the table on the patio, no aircon but had 2 standup fans going full blast 

After a few left after morning tea 

The rest of us (5) of us went into mum's room with the aircon on

Sometimes it is tricky trying to please everyone all at the same time which you can not do but all you can do is your best 

My cousin complained the most , and she left after saying happy birthday but that is ok 

Think my mind went into overthinking too much about today beforehand 

Re: Are you a people pleaser?????

I’m so glad you got through this morning my sis @Shaz51 

and yes it’s hard to please everyone 

Rest up my lovely ♥️ Xxoo

Re: Are you a people pleaser?????

@Shaz51 I'm glad it went so well. Your family is very lucky to have you as a peacemaker and chief celebrant of family occasions. Please take that as a huge positive. It's too easy to doubt yourself and be negative about what makes you different when it might be in fact your greatest gift.

Re: Are you a people pleaser?????

Thank you @Dimity , @BlueBay 

Sometimes it is just Sooo much hard work 

Soo proud of my Mr shaz @Dimity for lasting. As long as he did xoxo 

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