Lived Experience Forum

[Rosemary4]

Oh not sure @NatureLover , committing to you or anyone atm, probably Just disappoint you. Crappy time of year that requires all my energy for basics. But a space to boast about when I do finish something, that would be good. Sorry, just not in a good headspace today 🌺

[NatureLover]

Of course, @Rosemary4 , that's totally fine, and I really appreciate you being honest with me and replying. 🙂

And this space is great if you do want to boast about your successes. 👍

I can really relate both about the crappy time of year plus only having the energy for basics. Hope you're getting through OK. 

[NatureLover]

Dear friend, well done on picking up your Tafe certificate and along with it a sense of pride in your achievements! And I can see you're contemplating a few different options for work going forward...I will send wishes that the right way becomes clear 🙂 @Anastasia 

So sorry about your Dad  😥

I really like the word 'reset' in regards to my hands, thanks for that. 

Yes, I had planned that inviting my friend over would make me clean up...it could still work, if I focus on the cleaning rather than the big pile of stuff on the kitchen bench. Plan B is that we go out to a cafe...the only problem with that is all the cafes are packed full and we'll have to be lucky to get in for lunch somewhere. Never mind, I'll focus on Plan A today with help from your fairies 🙂

Your boy...how difficult when he won't get up and misses his appt 😥

Work was OK...I mean, it was good, but I felt pretty ordinary all day. Never mind, I got through. 

Am slurping your cuppa and sending you some back ☕☕☕ along with lots of 💚

[Eve7]

@NatureLover 

💚🧡🤸‍♂️🧡💚

@Anastasia 

💜💚🤗💙💜

[NatureLover]

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@Eve7 wrote:

@NatureLover 

💚🧡🤸‍♂️🧡💚

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@Eve7  cartwheeling person still makes me giggle, it's so far away from what I can do 😄

Sending you lots of 💛 back. 

[NatureLover]

Dear @Anastasia , no pressure to reply at all! I see you were online at about 4am this morning, I'm sorry you're not sleeping well 😞

Also that you are agitated...am really hoping the meds kick in soon.

In good news, I have internet again! 🙂

I am going to go through with my friend's visit and hosting lunch today, even though the house cleaning and tidying is not finished...i.e. not perfect. 

Am hoping that today at work is less stressful for you...sending 💚, ☕ and wishes.

[cloudcore]

Hi @Fee1 , @NatureLover , @Rosemary4 , @Escaped_Goat, @JoJo173 , @Pippyl , just tagging some members who have made mention of living with germaphobia in this thread

I wanted to bring some of you back to check in, as I recognise that this thread was made during an incredibly stressful time at the height of the 2020 pandemic. I'm wondering what your experiences are now, 2 years later (but still in the midst of covid-19), and how you are all coping?  

Has it changed, or stayed largely the same? I don't live with germaphobia myself but I would love to know more 

[HenryX]

Hello @cloudcore  and  @Fee1 , @NatureLover , @Rosemary4 , @Escaped_Goat , @JoJo173 , @Pippyl , @Anastasia , @Eve7 

My concerns have been more a product of internal issues in my home as a result of hoarding, which, I understand, is very likely a product of other longer standing issues than those associated with the virus. These issues are not imposed from, or experienced as externally initiated difficulties and problems, but rather, generated by me and experiencing their effects in my own space. They are issues that I first need to deal with in my head and psyche. From there, I need to apply the changed perceptions to my immediate living environment, starting from the centre and extending in an ever increasing space.

As a result of my interaction on the forum and recent discussions with a counsellor, I believe that my perceptions are changing. Those changed perceptions may, in part, be in the form of "the light at the end of the tunnel" and hopefully the prospect of opening into a more enjoyable and productive space on the other side of the hill. Unfortunately, it seems to be difficult to make productive gains while in the tunnel, but there is, at least, hope and some progress.

However, if the light that I see is really the headlamp of a train, I am very likely to be in considerable difficulty. Such an analogy may have affect if issues and pressures are exerted from outside my space, before I feel as though I am in a position to improve my internal situation and position.

Here, in W.A., we have been relatively fortunate, either by chance or design, in not experiencing the effects of the virus as severely as other places in Australia. But the ever present 'sign in' procedures and bottles of disinfecting liquid are significant reminders of the overarching threat.

If anything, the virus has meant that there has been more limited exposure, between others and me, during the preceding two years. That buffering effect, in turn, has probably resulted in a reduction in certain pressures on me. Those pressures are likely to increase as both real and perceived restrictions reduce in their effects throughout the community.

I would be interested to know whether others have had, or foresee similar, or different experiences in their own environments.

With Best Wishes

@HenryX 

[Pippyl]

Hi @cloudcore I feel the OCD is getting worse. My situation has improved slightly. I am eating healthy now but I do avoid leaving the house because of my fears so I go through phases of skipping meals, trying to make food last, having snacks as substitute to healthy meals. The place I'm in now has rats in the garden so there's a whole new theme of intrusive thoughts. It's gotten to the point that I fear germs carried through wind, heating, air con etc. At one point I felt the supermarket was covered in germs it's not as bad now but it's starting again. I think just not knowing what other people are doing. I always feel dirty so I worry to contaminate public places because I'm unable to clean there to my standard to then return there when I am clean so it's the cycle. It's stops me accepting help because of this contamination. It's harder to hid people look at me funny it's embarrassing. I started seeing a psychologist specializing in OCD but wasn't getting much from that so just continue with my original psych. I'm so desperate to be better but I just get worse. I find solutions and then more obsessions start. I left my parents but because that was ground zero I have been unable to unpack boxes all yr because I have to clean every item it's overwhelming it's like I've become a hoarder. I do stock up on cleaners I think in fear of panic buying and not being able to get what I need and also because it's so hard to get out that I make sure I have enough but I guess more stuff comes into the house and I can't even sort out stuff as I moved here quickly so I didn't throw anything just packed it all. I saw a psychiatrist as an outpatient who discharged me now but I may go back as I've had many hospital visits. I've tried so many meds but I get bad side effects so I give up and feel they also give up on me. I am on meds but that one doesn't help OCD only depression but it's a cycle and depression getting worse. I just feel I don't know where to begin and that I can't take action at all. The other day I found my garden is infested with cockroaches like 60 I killed and that sent me over the edge so now any bug that comes in is carrying disease from cockroach or rat. It becomes irrational and unlikely but it feels real to me and harder to recognize the irrational. If I'm outside I will dodge moths flies bees even stepping on ants coz I've seen them eating dead cockroach. I'm so desperate to be cured I can't function I'm in bed all day because the compulsions are too much. I feel more dirty and avoid cleaning anything because every time I try I have to redo it because I have new obsessions as soon as I find a solution to not reclean it. I don't want to be like this I resist help because of fear of germs but I really need help it's so isolating. despite all the trauma I've been through I feel this is the most difficult thing to overcome I don't know how to win. I've researched I've accepted it I've worked on trauma just gets worse. 

[Rosemary4]

@HenryX  I'd agree with that, that hoarding tendencies are more a product of internal issues, or longer standing issues than the current covid-19 virus.

Interesting that you have to start the changes in your head / psyche before putting in action. For me the more I think about it the more I get stuck in my head and overwhelmed and mixed up and procrastinate.  I have to just get up and start doing it, one section at a time. I may not ever finish the same day, but I get on a roll so to speak. Get somewhere, one charity bag or rubbish bin at a time. Why we gather so much ill never know. 

I'm glad you can see "the light at the end of the tunnel" with therapy and perception. But Really hope its not the headlamp of an oncoming train LOL 

As for being a gemaphobe during the Pandemic. I'm just sooooo glad I live alone.or I'd be stressing over any shared utensils, taps, door handles and shared spaces...After I have a visitor I get the Glen20 out and metho and wipe where they've been. At the shops I won't touch handrail and door handles (I pull my sleeve or jacket over my hands if i have to balance. If someone stands too close to me in line - they get the filthiest   L👀k. I actually like feeling less insane now when I ask them not to stand so close. I just refuse to Be in big crowds anymore. Especially now. Also, I shop early in the morning before all the other shoppers contaminate a freshly cleaned environment.

Just to name a few things.
but that's just me, i'm weird xox