Lived Experience Forum

[MDT]

Hey @eth @BryanaCamp

Yeah I think you are both right. Atm I am trying to fix up the internet here lol.

Hope you have a good day.

My sister tried to have a go at me before so I told her where to go. I'm sick of getting the raw end of her attitude.

[Doglover]

Hi @MDT , 

Im sorry ur not too good lately my friend. Whats happening for u?

How r things on the job front?

My hubby is about to start looking for work as i havnt bn able to work for 8 months and he hasnt bn working in that time so wre skint!

I hope things work out for u there and that u end up wiith a job that u r happy with. 

Take care of urself @MDT , i hope today is a better day for u.

[MDT]

Thanks @Doglover
Today I am out. Finally I got paid from the charity so I have a bit cash for the next few weeks so that's good.
I am meeting with some others today and we are going to work on a program to start up our own business. Don't wanna say too much about it lol.

I got an email about that other position so that's good. The one I referred to earlier here that is. Hopefully some comes of that.

Things are slow. But could be lots worse.

I am sorry to hear about your struggles too. 8 Mo this is long for both of you to struggle with money. I am feeling for you my friend.

[Doglover]

Hi @MDT , thanks for ur reply. Im glad to hear u got paid for the charity job. Keep the wolves at bay for a bit. Interesting about the idea of starting a business, all the best with ur discussions about that. Hope something comes from the job for u. Wish my hubby wld get his but into gear and look for a job!

All the best to u @MDT , i hope all goes well for u.

[MDT]

Thanks @Doglover
Hope you are well tonight mate 🙂

[Doglover]

Thanks @MDT , pretty tough going this end. I hope u r doing better my friend.

[eudemonism]

I can't see there being to much to worry about @MDT 

I used to have lots of flashbacks about stuff i had done /mistakes i had made. And just the memory and thought of these incidents would literally shock me. I would feel stupid, dumb, ashamed, embarrassed, like a fool ... like a bad person ... 

I suppose all i was trying to do; was fit in, have a good time, go with the flow... but alot of the time ... i was just making myself out to be a clown in the process ... since then, I've kind of accepted that I've got legit cognitive and behavioral issues ... and basically isolated myself and became a recluse (or looked for and found a different way-which was easier )

[BryanaCamp]

morning @MDT hope you feel a bit better today. Enjoy the discussion time with your friends, try not to compare yourself to others too much, just know that you're doing everything you can do and more and that any company would be lucky to have you as an employee. Have a good day, sending you happy vibes 

[MDT]

hey @eudemonism @Zoe7 @BryanaCamp @Doglover @eth @greenpea @outlander @oceangirl @Shaz51 @TAB @Ant7 @Faith-and-Hope  and others following along

I had a weird dream last night and in some ways I wish my dreams were reality and my reality was my dreams. I'm not happy with myself as I think I need to be doing better.

I know this feeds back into a negative loop/spiral that has given my strife in the past but I can't help thinking that it might at least be partly true.

I know I can't be hard on myself, however I do sometimes think that I have to be.

I'm still getting over not getting that intern role (the interview I left knowing I had stuffed up big time). I saw some of the people who got the roles as there was a group of people hired. Anyways. I'm' just trying to learn what I need to do differently in order to find success.

[eth]

Sorry to hear about the internship @MDT .  It's always nice when a dream reminds us that it is possible to feel good about things - just a taste of the feeling, even if in dreamland.  But hard not to be disappointed when we wake up from it.  The things our minds can create when we're asleep continue to amaze me.

Sounds like you are taking a pragmatic approach to it all for today.

Have a day with nice bits in it.  Take care.