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Re: A long rave

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Re: A long rave

@Adge @Mazarita @Maggie @Owlunar @eth @Shaz51 good morning guys, hope everything is going well for you. I'm currently sitting here at the docs waiting for my regular check up. let me tell you. I get massive anxiety about it. there's nothing to fear, yet here I still am sitting, worrying, waiting. about what I'm afraid of, I have no idea. I just know I hate waiting. 😣

Re: A long rave

@octavia, how did you go today my friend xxx

Hello @Mazarita , @Adge , @Maggie , @Owlunar 

Re: A long rave

I do exactly the same @octavia . I hope you are home relaxing. 💜💜💜

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51 @Maggie I got through it ladies. it's weird, its like I shift into another state of being. it happens instantly and I have no way to stop it. I just try to keep my mind occupied,  it keeps me half calm. and as soon as they call my name, it just washes away and I'm back to normal me. i can't figure out why and I can't seem to be able to beat it. it's just a part of me I guess

Re: A long rave

Hi @octavia It's really good that you are supportive of your introverted teenager (as you said).

My parents did not support me at that age (about 35 years ago) - I am 50, 51 in March.

I come from a highly dysfunctional family - involving severe neglect, SA, EA, etc (my childhood) - which is why I have Complex PTSD.

I work in disability support, with people with very "challenging behaviours" (it's called). They can be aggressive regularly.

A highly social position (work) - which is very draining, especially for introverted people.

I have had little or no support, since my marriage ended 9 years ago - & have lived alone, since then.

I survived 2 emergency bowel surgeries (November 2014), a stoma & bag, 3rd Reversal bowel surgery, then a 4th surgery (last March).

Dad died in the middle of all of that (March 2016) - my Mum & 4 younger siblings, all live interstate in NSW. I am the oldest of 5 siblings.

Adge

 

 

Re: A long rave

I get anxious at Drs too @octavia Especially waiting.

It sounds like you got through it really well, in the end.

I need to find a new GP.

I haven't got one.

My Dr left at the time of my last bowel surgery.

Probably need to get some tests done.

Adge

Re: A long rave

@Adge what a really hard run of life you have had. you're not alone, sometimes we get dealt a  really bad hand in life. it's the way you pick yourself up and conduct yourself after the fallout, is the most important thing. sounds to me, you are trying your best. you're talking and opening up your story to us. what's your next move? here's a little more about my life.

 

I have also been through SA as a child. I mentally blocked it out, and it's still hard to this day to talk about it. my mother doesn't even know, as it was her father, I don't want her to know. maybe it's fear of rejection that I won't be believed or it will shatter her dreams of what  she thinks her father was. maybe she suffered just like me. I will never know.  I can live with that. am I'm wrong?

Re: A long rave

Hi @octavia I'm so sorry to hear that you've been through SA & family hardship too.

Whether to disclose or not (& who to) is a very personal decision.

So it's never wrong, just the decision that you (or I) think best - with the reasons that we have.

Apparently perpetrators almost always deny having done what they did (or the impact).

In my case, I did tell my Mum, my Dad & 2 younger brothers.

Dad was the most understanding (he passed away 4 years ago).

Mum responded defensively (which hurt) - focusing only on herself, offering me no words of support.

My brothers refused to acknowledge what I had told them (would not talk about it), & changed the subject.

Unfortunately we cannot predict how people will respond - or know who might be supportive (& who not).

I hope you've had a good day today.

Adge

Re: A long rave

Hi @octavia and @Adge  sending you support.  I too have a history of childhood SA and family violence.  I get how difficult it can be to choose who to disclose to.  

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