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14-09-2020 07:19 PM
14-09-2020 07:19 PM
Re: A long rave
@ethWe have a lot going on. My son and I are coming to terms with his version of BiPolar 1. We are talking about the nature of episodes, and how to tell when they are coming on, and what can he actually reasonably be expected to do. He has told me twice this week that he loves me. A month ago he wanted to be very careful about using the love word. So I stopped. He is calling every day, which is good, but its heartbreaking having a disabled child. He was going to try and do his BMus while on heavy meds, did last week, but I am thinking inside he is not going to be able to do it. The meds are not enhancng for pianists, so he might have to take another direction. He needs more support for his actual real situation rather than pushing on with study and collapsing. Study is not the answer to everything.
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15-09-2020 09:12 AM
15-09-2020 09:12 AM
Re: A long rave
Hearing and feeling you there @Appleblossom You are doing a great job of supporting him I think. Yes, part of managing with bipolar 1 is definitely learning to recognize when things are starting to change. That's the reason I keep my daily charts. Probably the first sign for me is when I get only a few hours sleep at most for a few days in a row. But also these days I can feel it if I'm starting to accelerate, or conversely if I don't want to do any of my usual activities. Anhedonia is a definite sign of impending depression for me, as getting overly immersed (obsessive about) projects a sign of elevation creeping in. It's sad that it's not safe for me to just feel the wind under my sails and let myself be lifted these days, but it keeps me out of hospital. I agree about meds making some things really hard to do, but if your son has a passion for his music I would say it's still worth going for the music exams (I think that's what the 'BMus' must be - correct me if I'm wrong). But I agree that a prolonged course of study might be hard to manage while he gets used to living on meds. That has to be the priority - or at least, it is for me. But having spent over a decade on meds now, I set myself the challenge of pursuing my writing (my passion) while I'm stable - it's very different doing it when I'm not in hypomania or mania - I have to work at it more than when it would just pour out of me, but it's been really worth the effort for about 2 years now. As they say, if you want to write you have to write - if you want to play music then you have to play music ... but perhaps there's another path to that for him. For me, short on-line courses have worked really well.
Stay strong bella! Lovely that he's telling you he loves you. I haven't heard that for many years from mine. I even had to ask them to start calling me Mum again.
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15-09-2020 09:13 AM
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15-09-2020 01:06 PM
15-09-2020 01:06 PM
Re: A long rave
@ethThanks for the insight into general BiPolar1 Stuff. The pdoc intimated that I had let things go too much, emphasising he was very unwell, and I had to say I had been accused of pretending he was more isolated that he was by intake worker, and given the flick countless times trying to get help for him. They really need to be more careful about their assumptions. He also has to want to accept help, and not feel he has to do it all by himself. His BMus is a fulltime uni music degree. He started it this year. The sad thing is that he just discovered that he loved learning in a good educational environment and enjoyed people along with his music, when Covid hit. He had been detoxing from computer and could not handle then having to shift all to computer again and being without face to face. Too much inner conflict. Really bad luck and timing. None of us knew how much the world was going to change with Covid. Still dont. Tbh I do not mind if he shifts. We know he loves music, that can always sustain him, but honestly its the hardest industry to have a career in.
Stay Safe and Stay Kind....like that eth .. lol
Hugs Apple
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15-09-2020 09:15 PM
15-09-2020 09:15 PM
Re: A long rave
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16-09-2020 03:36 PM
16-09-2020 03:36 PM
Re: A long rave
Hi @Adge
I stumbled across this post of yours, and just had to comment - that is exactly! What is going on with me at the moment. It's so difficult.
Wishing you the best for some sleep tonight.
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17-09-2020 11:19 AM
17-09-2020 11:19 AM
Re: A long rave
Hi @Appleblossom @Adge @WIP hope today is going well so far.
I'm in the midst of my hectic 3rd week of the month - several things that happen on the wed and thurs of the 3rd week.
@Appleblossom sending warm wishes for you and your son. Hearing you about the challenges for both of you. Stay safe and stay kind .... and stay strong my friend, as you always seem to. Kia Kaha as they say in NZ. xoxo
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17-09-2020 11:49 AM
17-09-2020 11:49 AM
Re: A long rave
Morning @eth
Good Luck with all your hecticness!!
I'm ok thanks. Actually had a reasonable nights sleep (extra medication though), so feeling a bit better this morning. I hope it lasts for awhile.
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17-09-2020 02:40 PM
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17-09-2020 02:59 PM