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Re: A long rave

Hi @Anastasia ðŸ’“

My day?  👎😔

 

Re: A long rave

Oh shame @Emelia8 

Must have had an inkling, sending you love and light my friend 😘

Re: A long rave

Sending some love and kind thoughts your way today @eth , and in fact ... every day. 💕

 

And to you too @Anastasia @Appleblossom @greenpea @Mazarita @Adge  😀

 

Emelia 🌸

Re: A long rave

Thank you dear @Emelia8 

 

Hoping today is good to you x

Re: A long rave

Hi and good morning  @Emelia8 @Anastasia @Appleblossom @greenpea @Teej @Faith-and-Hope  thanks all for your kind wishes.  Had a couple of days offline - don't even know what I've been doing most of the time.  Did have psychologist appointment which was very validating on wednesday and did cook for the clan last night.  Also joined in a zoom with the disability alliance that was fun, just music chosen by one of the members - we take it in turns on a thursday.  And did another zoom last night to celebrate the 2nd birthday of a locally based poetry group - I was first up on the open mic readings and read a poem I've written this week.  That was scary and good at the same time.  So it sounds like I've been busy but that's only a few hours out of 2 days and nights.  Very little motivation to do much and lots of hours watching telly.

 

@Teej  No I don't have my own bathroom and as far as I know I have no NDIS funds for respite.  Do you use NDIS funds for it?  If so do you know what category it's in and what line item no. it is in the price guide?  If I knew them I could ask my plan manager and coordinator of supports about it.  It sounds like something I'd really like to do but not sure if it would even be possible due to covid restrictions (I'm in the Hunter region).

 

@greenpea  As far as I know there are no problems in bro's marriage other than the usual negotiating between 2 independent people.  They are both what I'd say is more emotionally intelligent and mature than I am (my psychologist says traumatic events like I've been through can stunt our emotional development) and they also do communication training at least a couple of times a year with the intentional community they are part of (the farm I visit sometimes).  I do know they have lots of other pressures going on atm.  Including the alcoholic brother of sil, who now lives in Perth, having been emergency hospitalized again because of his drinking - sil's mum lives in the 2nd house they own (next door) and it's a huge burden on her which they try to ease.   Communicating with hospital etc.  Also my bro is in a new fulltime job and still has 2 other part time jobs and is comited to supporting me here and our mum in Bris; sil works part time and is also a professional artist and spends as much time at her studio as she can.  Plus maintenance and financing 2 properties in town.  And I'm sure there's more that I don't hear the details of.  Having said all that, it's still not fair the way my brother vents - psych says he is projecting onto me.

 

 As much as I agree with a lot about the discussion of how a lot of men are not able to deal with strong feelings in a healthy way, I know my brother has done a lot of work on himself and communication skills and emotional management over the years.  And I believe there are some good men out there who deal with things maturely and in a healthy way.  I just don't seem to end up with men like that in my life.  It's clear that there are some underlying programs in both myself and bro that stem from the way we were parented, the behavioural models we learned from as children and roles we fell into as a result.

 

Ok rant over.  I'm rambling, but it's helpful to write about it here and I very much appreciate your listening eyes (as someone here once said).

Hi also to @Shaz51 @Maggie @CheerBear @Zoe7 @Angels333  thanks for the tags and @Mazarita @Adge @TAB @Flying_Hams @outlander @Bezak482 @Judi9877 @Exoplanet @Snowie @Sans911 @BlueBay @NatureLover @Blep @BPDSurvivor @Molliex @Owlunar just coz I want to say hi and haven't seen much of you lately (mostly coz I just haven't been here).  

I hope to be around more over the weekend.  I'll be home alone with the others up at the farm and look forward to the freedom I anticipate feeling.  Heading out with a support worker for a couple of hours this afternoon, which I'm greatly looking forward to.  Wasn't able to see either of them the last 10 days or so as both of them had to get tested - negative result for both thank goodness.  But 1 of them still can't do in person support as her grandchildren who live with her all have colds again.

  

Hope today goes gently for you all and has some highlights in it.  Stay safe and stay kind everyone.  I care.  xoxo

Re: A long rave

Extra Heart@Emelia8  and @Zoe7  as I know each of you are dealing with big feelings and difficulties atm.  Sending you both lots of love xx 

Re: A long rave

Sending hugs back @eth . I have been not coping well with things that have happened to me recently, so i have been laying low. I am glad to read you finally have a support person coming around. Wishing you a lovely day x

Re: A long rave

Onya @eth
Take care my friend

Re: A long rave

@eth  💜💜💜

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Molliex  sending warm wishes your way too.  Hang in there, or hang out here.  

Thankyou too @Maggie and @Flying_Hams 

 

I'm feeling paranoid tonight.  My support worker said 'enjoy your weekend doing whatever the f... you want' as she was leaving today.  We were in the driveway at the front of the house.  Then bro and sil left for the farm a bit later without the usual goodbye.  I'm very worried that one or both of them might have heard what the sw said.  Even if they didn't, the way I'm feeling is showing me how close to blowing up things could be.  I'm pretty f'd up right now.

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