Lived Experience Forum

[Eve7]

Thinking about you and little Holly so much @Emelia8 

Lots of love

💕🙏💕

[Emelia8]

I feel so down tonight.  I saw my GP this afternoon.  Ended up being a long and difficult consult.  Both my oncologist and/or my psychologist have alerted him to the fact that I am currently depressed and suicidal.  Wish they hadnt told him that, as I can usually 'wing it' and avoid such conversations.  But no, he insisted on doing 'the questionnaire' and determined that I am badly depressed and suicidal.  It was a difficult conversation to have, but in the end he thanked me for being honest with him.

He agreed that it looks as though the spinal nerve root injection has not been successful in helping me.  They are not always helpful, although most people get at least some pain relief.  My GP is pretty conservative and not keen on pushing me towards the surgical option, preferring less risky options first.  

So from tonight, I am starting on a drug to hopefully help with the severe nerve pain I've been experiencing for the past 14 weeks.  Its an epilepsy and/or anxiety medication ... but more commonly used now for neuropathic (nerve) pain. Its also effective (apparently) in assisting with sleep. My GP has added an SNRI anti-depressant medication on top of the other meds.  This particular AD is often used to treat chronic nerve pain, along with the depression that it causes.  So dual purpose.  And the two different drugs are regularly used together for maximum effect. 

I really need this to work.  I dont want to be left feeling like a complete failure again.  Unfortunately it may take a couple of weeks to know if it will work.  And he wants to see me again in 2 weeks time for a long appointment. He told me that if things get too hard and my thoughts turn too dark, that I need to contact him. He said they will fit me in to see him either on the day, or at worst the following day.  Huh .. not likely.  Its impossible to get an appointment within 2 weeks at the best of times.  I told him not to worry, that my psych has told me to text her if I ever need to.

So tired, so defeated, so drained from pain and lack of sleep.

My Dad has been transferred from the city hospital back to his local country hospital as of yesterday.  He is happier there, and even (at least for now) has a room to himself, a view over town and was impressed with the moon rising over town last night.  He is very sore in the ribs and back from his fall in the city hospital on Monday night, but he is not complaining about any pain in his foot.  Not even any phantom pain from the two missing toes.  😂  Although his wound bled a lot last night and they had to change his dressings again.  The blood thinners dont help in that regard. He will commence physio and have an assessment from an occupational therapist from Monday.

Emelia 💞

[outlander]

sending love @Emelia8

[Emelia8]

@outlander 🙏💕

[HenryX]

Hello @Emelia8 

I am very pleased to hear of your having spoken with your GP today and the medication prescribed for you. It sounds as though it is very similar to what was prescribed for me about 20 years ago, which I still take. One benefit is a reduction in the pain levels, not huge, but significant in terms of relief. The medication also helps with sleep and may cause drowsiness if taken during the day. I generally take half during early evening and the other half about ½ to 1 hour before going to bed.

You may have been given different directions and I would obviously adhere to them. However, it is sometimes helpful to hear of the experience and reaction of other people. The medication does take some time, as you are aware, to increase to the level of effectiveness anticipated, for positive mood adjustment and stability. I hope that the sleep benefit will be apparent fairly quickly for you.

A very good friend can tell if I have 'forgotten' to take the medication with me when away. The negative effect can be apparent quite quickly to people close to you, so I recommend ensuring that you do not run out before a weekend, or if you are away, when they may not be available for two or three days.

Recently, you have indicated, in your posts, that you are close to having exhausted other, more conservative options. If you have not had the opportunity for the appropriate scans and the opportunity arises, that is one non-intrusive assessment protocol that I can and would definitely recommend. I believe that you are aware of my concern, and that of others, about where you are at the present time, physically, emotionally and psychologically. Any option that can give you a clear picture, figuratively and literally, would be worthwhile taking. Unfortunately, If the enemy is raining anti-tank missiles on you and your position, to use a military analogy, and the conservative option is to return fire with rifles, the outcome is likely to be pretty obvious, and the collateral damage can be huge. While medication can relieve symptoms of back and nerve pain, it cannot address the primary problem, which may deteriorate further, because of delays in the appropriate treatment. However, I think you have as much information as I can give, under this forum format and guidelines.

It is disappointing to know of your father having had a fall while in hospital. I do hope that he has a quick recovery and return to as normal a life as possible.

With My Very Best Wishes

@HenryX 

[Emelia8]

Thank you @HenryX , and yes it sounds like the same meds.  And I note you should not stop taking them suddenly.

As for scans, I have had recent xrays, ct scans and MRIs and all show and/or confirm severe nerve and spinal cord compression. I dont think there is any point in further scans just yet. Besides, I think Ive had an abundance of radiation lately. Combination of radiation therapy for breast cancer in Jan/Feb and daily ct scans with that, and my recent scans for my spine ... I must be radioactive by now. 

One of lifes contradictions is that cancer is treated with radiation, but radiation causes cancer. 😳

Regarding my Dad, I spoke to my brother a while ago. He said Dads ribs are black in an area of 10-12 inches. No wonder he is complaining of the pain. He has no feeling in his feet, but he clearly does in his ribs. I actually think its remiss that the city hospital did not do xrays to check for fractures. I agree with you that it is dissappointing that he was left alone to fall in the first place. But he is a very independent old bugger.

Thank you for replying @HenryX 

Ems 🌷

[HenryX]

Hi @Emelia8 

Thank you for your reply. I had the thought that somewhere, recently, you had mentioned scans. However, I could not recall the type or time. I really hope that the medication provides some relief from pain, as well as improvement in mood presentation. Such relief should also contribute to making it easier to view your situation and decision making.

With Best Wishes,

@HenryX 

[Anastasia]

Hello dear @Emelia8 

I'm popping in to send you my love and ask how your dear Dad is recovering? 

You are always in my heart and thoughts sweet sister ❣️

[Peri]

Sending you love 💕 and support @Emelia8 ,

ihope your dad is ok and little Holly , 💐🌷☕️

Peri

[outlander]

@Emelia8