A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

[Bow]

thank you @Emelia8 im feeling extremely triggered and vulnerable at the moment and not in such a safe place. im trying, but not going to stick around here. 

[Peregrinefalcon]

Hey @Bow, 

Sorry to hear things are not feeling too good right now. I am glad you have been able to come to the Forums for support and encourage you to reach out to crisis services too if needed (Lifeline: 13 11 14; Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467; 000 if it is an emergency).

We are sitting with you this weekend ❤️ Take good care of yourself

Peregrinefalcon

[Emelia8]

Dear @Bow ... I am really sorry I did not get your post earlier.  Notifications have not been working at all for the past 3 hours or more, so I didnt know you had posted. In fact I now find, upon searching, that I have missed quite a few tags, as well as yours.

Sorry you are feeling very triggered and vulnerable, and I totally understand your need to not be here at this moment. However, if you need someone to sit with you, please do not hesitate to post on your own thread and I will support you there.  I will monitor the site in order to not miss any posts from you there.  I know you are trying to get through, something you do very well and have done for a long time.  I have every confidence that you will again.  What time is your daughter getting home tonight?

Emelia 🤗💝

[Emelia8]

Hi @Anastasia  I'm so glad that your early morning text from your Boy was simply that ... he was missing you. 😊

Well I really hope that the weather is clear for your boys today, for their planned adventure on the water.  We have had intermittent showers here most of the day.  Nothing heavy since overnight, but just lots of coastal showers coming through. However we had some sunshine for a couple of hours after lunch, so I was out there with Holly checking the gardens and yard perimeter.  Needed gumboots.

Oh, I hope your boys get to the races tomorrow.  Hubby and I go to our local races here occasionally, in fact we even have membership. I think our local track would be rated heavy right now, after all this rain.  Hubby chose not to go to the pub with the boys for lunch today.  He said he just didnt feel up to it, and I can understand that.  He did have a longer than usual sleep after lunch though, so that gave me a chance for a bit of a sleep too.

Really good to hear that your much quieter pizza night was an enjoyable time for you all.  It sounds just that ... nice!  I hope your day has been nice and restful today.  And I do hope you manage to get another start on your diamond painting.  I have pulled out mine from the cupboard.  This one is the largest I have undertaken so far, its a Sailing Boat at sunset.  And the canvas size is 45cm x 60cm.  So this one will be a long term project I think. 

The news around the assault/rape allegations at parliament house has been playing on my mind.  Even worse is that the latest news is that another woman has now come forward with similar allegations against him. Something that took place after the other one. This is something which haunts me every day.  Did the person who assaulted me, go on and do it to anyone else?  Could I have prevented that happening to some other young woman?  Because I was so weak and afraid to report it, or have him charged ... have I enabled him to possibly harm others?  If I had been strong enough to take it to the police, he would have been locked up!  My fear and weakness may have unwittingly harmed others.  But its something I have to live with now, and I cannot change it.  Same as I will never know why he did what he did to me.  This is hard to live with, day in and day out. 💔

You are in my heart too @Anastasia .  And I suspect if I had hollered, as you suggested, you would not have known due to notifications not working.  😔  But I am happy in the thought that you are enjoying a nice day at home, knowing your boys are enjoying their time with their dad.  🌺

Emelia 💞

[Bow]

Thanks @Emelia8  she is due home shortly, around 6. I'm short of words this evening, but wanted to say thank you. 
@Peregrinefalcon thanks too

[Former-Member]

I hear you @Snowie - gotta do our best, try everything, so hard. (((((Hugzz)))))

[Former-Member]

Hi @ @Emelia8  - i've been concerned about you and the timing of all this media hype about the parliament house rapes. It's resurfacing stuff in me too, especially the part where our seniors and  systems dont Support victims, or do what's right. And how I  too withdrew from the world, from asking for help, or press charges. Ya just so in shock i think,  not thinking straight, and just want it to go away.

We have to Be gentle in our thoughts.

No. It's not good getting these media triggers, but on the other hand it highlights the fact that we are far from alone in it. 

I having to limit tv  radio, do more hobbies and  DVDs or something at times like this - it isolates us more  but also self care. 

Hope you got that break from hubby today. Deep breaths Em, 

Hugzz-n-hugzz💕

@Bow  💜💙💚💛🧡💕 what s happening? Has your day improved at all?  Be kind to yourself.l 💕

[Emelia8]

Thank you so much @Former-Member .

The rose pic is gorgeous and the saying is very applicable.

Yeah you"re right, I should not be so hard on myself. At the time, I was badly concussed, in shock and disbelief, in a lot of pain and just wanted to somehow get clean. Then hide, isolate myself, shut everyone out, try to forget it happened, ensure he could never find me again, try to act normal.

I did what I felt I had to do at the time ... just to survive. I was not in a fit physical, mental or emotional state to be making important decisions. And I had nobody to help or advise me. I should have been safe in my own home. 

Thanks for the hugz EOR and your care and understanding. Love you.

Emelia  😔

[Snowie]

Good morning @Emelia8 @Former-Member @Bow @Anastasia 

Hoping there is some goodness in all of your days.

Much love and hugs 💖💖

[Eve7]

A big loving bear hug for you today @Emelia8  just so you know you are safe.

💖💖🤗💖💖